18 Chapter 18
I decided to spend my last days in Summer's area, but no matter how much they tried, I can feel like my days had been slowed down. Then everyone was notified that it will be Winter's final ceremony tomorrow. I guess he spent his days to enjoy. I wonder if he's happier in Ivy's company.
I went to the Spring area to have a visit. It's quiet. I saw some memories as I reminisce the Spring couple. I still remember how Life ran to me to become his human shield. Those moments were so close to my heart that it made me softened and cry. I knocked at the door, however, no one responded. I asked permission to enter when I found out it wasn't locked. As I entered inside their living room and saw that day when I asked for their help in Rain's situation. That was nostalgic. I miss Leaf so much. I sat on my position before and looked at my imaginary Leaf who's right now smiling at me.
"Dear Leaf, are you happy now? Do you miss those yellings and hide-and-seek with Life? That laughter that made us cry out as our stomach aches? Leaf, are you still with us? I miss you so much. You are the bravest and the most handsome girl I've ever met and I thank you for all those days we've spent together. Thank you for letting me meet you, my knight in shining fan," I jested and laughed
"Wind? Why are you here?" Life asked
"I'm sorry, I came uninvited" I apologized
"No, that's fine. I never locked the door because I believe one of these days you'll pay a visit" he smiled
He requested me to sit and offered me some tea.
"You've been gone for how many weeks? I felt like I haven't seen you for decades" he asked
"Hey! That's too much! Do I look like that old?" I denied and pouted which made him laugh
"How are you?" I asked
"Fine" he replied and sipped on his tea
"Leaf won't be happy if you lie" I warned
He came closer to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back. Life is the same age as me if I'm not mistaken, either way, I still treat him like my little brother. I combed his long hair as I comforted him.
"Can we stay like this for a while, Wind?" he asked
"Of course," I said happily
I stroked his hair and let the silence overwhelmed us. I started humming a somehow familiar tune to me. I felt how Life's body tensed in the music so I stopped.
"Just sing" he begged
I continued my humming and brushing of his hair.
"Life, your hair is so beautiful," I said
"I know, Leaf. You've been jealous about it all this time" he murmured
So that's it. That song. I came by and heard it somewhere in the Spring area. It was a joyous, yet melancholic sound. The voice had captivated me and I hope I could hear it once more until I always end up expecting it and memorized its tune.
"Life, you've been doing great, aren't you?" I asked him pretending to be Leaf
"Yes, I did. I cared for your sister even though she's your opposite" he responded
What? Dahlia is Leaf's sister?
"Life? Who are you... Wind!" she exclaimed as she saw what we're doing
Life dried his cheeks and apologized.
"I'm sorry if I played along and pretended to be Leaf. I thought you've been missing her and just need some closure" I told him
"It's fine. Thank you, Wind. It made me feel better" he answered
I smiled.
"That's good. I don't want to see a gloomy Life when I leave this place" I uttered
"Dahlia..." I called her
Dahlia sat beside me and looked as though she's embarrassed. I held her hand and smiled at her. She seemed to be afraid, so I glanced at Life who was staring at Dahlia coldly.
"Life!" I threatened him and he sighed
"It's not her fault," I told him
"I just hate her for pretending to be Leaf" he murmured
"I'm sorry. I thought it will make you happy. Sister told me about you" she said and we were surprised
"She talked about Life? She woke up?" I asked her
"Yes. I still didn't forget that. Sister was 14 and I am 12. Sister told me she had a wonderful dream. It ended shortly but she said, she had a lot of fun. She became more active in going outdoor searching for people whom we don't know. She even told me, she laughed so hard when a man whom I think was Autumn said to her you fell in love with her at first sight" she explained
Life hid his face in his arms and tried to silence his sobs. So she's alive in real life. Then even if you Passed or became Forgotten, it doesn't matter because you will still live in the real world. It was just like what Winter explained. Then why everyone pushed me to believe that I am in love with a non-existent man if they just woke up in this long dream of ours?
"My sister asked me to stay with you all and experience the same thing and the same fun. I thought pretending to be my sister will give me the same fun and experiences my sister had. I've irritated you and hurt you. I hate myself for that and I don't know how can I compensate you all. I'm so sorry," she cried
"It's fine now Dahlia when I wake up. I'll try to figure out how to contact you all and we'll share the same laughter and moments again. Even if my dream of being here will soon to end, I promise it will proceed in the real world" I promised her and she nodded
"I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings Dahlia" I apologized
"It's not your fault. If only I became true to myself, you won't hate me, right?" she asked
"Of course" I assured
I left the Spring area and stayed in the summer area to tell the news to both Rain and Sunlight.
"So that's her reason," Sunlight said
"Poor Dahlia, I feel sorry for her," Rain added as she cried
I will miss these two girls. I will miss everything about this place. I will find a way to let us stay connected. If ever I have no chance at all, I will continue believing that someday we will all reunite and cope with each other.
"Hey Wind, you're out of yourself again" Sunlight spoke
"I'm sorry. I just feel silly when I remind myself that I'll be going soon. This place, will I forget it when I wake up?"
"Wind, we are happy to meet you here," they both said and we hugged each other
"Can I join?" Ivy asked as she got closer to us
Rain was trembling while Sunlight paid no mind. I sipped my coffee and I waited until she spoke up, but it never happened.
"You are very comfortable right now, Wind," she said when I was about to reply.
"If the water can easily be disturbed,
I'd rather sit at the edge of the show.
The more I see the eye of the storm,
The greater the possibility I feel at ease."
"Why do you speak like Autumn?" she mocked
"People who don't know that a pen can be a sword,
And words can be a knife,
Down the cave of serenity,
There's a killer you can't see"
Rain answered and we applauded.
"That was a good one, Rain," I said
"I learned from the best" she replied and we both laughed
"Let me try too!" Sunlight butted in
"Go!" we said not minding Ivy at all
"The wind dictates our next destination,
The sunlight is our only direction,
The rain comes with the storm,
To wade all of the poison in the sail to the shore."
"That's good one too, Sunlight," I told her
"This is amazing! I've never expected to have fun doing this" Sunlight remarked as if it was her first time
"Can't you recognize that I am standing here?" Ivy blurted
"Oh, here goes Ivy. Welcome back, Ivy" Sunlight said sarcastically
"Good day, Ivy. How were things going? Thank you for coming to my last party before I leave this place" I stated
"Hey!" Dahlia greeted
"Nice to see you again, Dahlia," I greeted back and she smiled
"What are you guys doing?" she asked as if she didn't saw Ivy
"A small group conversation and reminiscence for the last few days before I leave" I responded and offered a seat
"That's nice! Can I..."
"You don't need to ask anymore, Dahlia, as the Lady of Spring, of course, you are welcome to sit and join," Sunlight said
Rain dried her eyes. She's been sentimental all this time. It must be hard for her to always cry.
"Rain, is it difficult for you to be the rain?" I asked
"Why do you think so?" she replied
"You always cry," I said that made Sunlight laughed
"Haven't she told you it feels better? Wind, if you keep all the burdens inside, it will be heavier and heavier until you can't take it anymore," Dahlia replied
"Is it? I never had that. I never threw a tantrum nor have been in the state of keeping things to my parents. They always know what I want or think," I responded
"It's because you have a happy family" Rain smiled as she dried up her tears
"I'm sorry," I apologized
I sympathized with their situation in real life. I may be the only one here who has this kind of family. I should not push the topic so they won't feel lonely.
"It's nothing for us, Wind. We're lucky you've been raised by that kind of family. If we didn't meet you, maybe we're still filling this hole inside us. Don't be sorry," Sunlight said
"Come to think of it, Dahlia, why don't you share your family stories?" Rain requested
"My family? Didn't Leaf already told you?" she inquired
"Of course not, Leaf was always with us but she never opened up," Sunlight exclaimed
"Yes, she always had this love-yourself-as-I-love-you vibes which she enjoyed fooling new villagers. She always cared for our health and assisted us in our daily work" I added
"My sister is really like that" Dahlia laughed
"Well, our family is not one of those nobles but we have enough fortune to live and survive. We also have additional money for the things that we wanted and were only limited once in a while. Hmm... My family runs a clothing store. It's popular in the area because it's a cheap store. I can remember that we had this one-day gift-giving to the people in the streets to help them survive the winter" she narrated as if she's trying her best to remember
"Are your memories getting blurry?" I asked her
"It's normal because as your days count increased, the more your real-life memory decreased. Don't worry because it will return little by little when you are already near the deadline. Right, Wind?" Sunlight assured and I nodded
"You have your memories back?" Dahlia asked
"Yes," I responded
"What's your real name? I wanted to ask it and try to remember it as I wake up," Dahlia commented excitedly
"I am..."
"Don't spill out your real names" Ivy warned us
"Will that hurt you? There's no rule of giving your real names before you leave because no one can remember it either," Sunlight stated
"With that, you just killed Dahlia's hope, Sunlight," Rain mumbled and we laughed
"That's frustrating, I am eager to meet you all even in real life. Maybe my sister, too" she murmured
"Oh right! My sister had this new girlfriend of a noble family. Well, my sister said she found one and she's wondering where are the others. She's younger about my age if I am not mistaken, but she can't remember anything about you all. Hmm... Let's see, yes. 15 years old as of when I wake up. I wonder if she's one of you, my sister told me she can't be mistaken" she added and tried her best to remember
"It's fine. You don't have to force yourself. If we are meant to meet again, then it's a pleasure" I said and held her hands
"Wind, why do you always hold my hand?" Dahlia asked me, confused
"I think it became my manner. They all do it to snap me back here" I said and chuckled
"It's because you're always spacing out!" Sunlight answered back and we all laughed
"How about you, Ivy? Aren't you Passed? You already have your memories back, right?" I asked her and everybody was surprised
"Me?" she asked hesitantly because no one pay mind of her existence which I felt rude, thus, I made my move
"Yes, tell us about your life" I replied
"My family is rich. I can buy all things and I can travel the whole world. At such a young age, I already owned my land. My father was a marquis and my mother was a teacher, then became a housewife after she married my father. She became my tutor as I grew up. She told me that I should be a fine lady to marry a prince in the royal family" she said
"What? You mean you are this high and all?" Dahlia said
"Of course. In my life inside that ice, I woke up in the real world. I sometimes experienced the coldness like this paradise had been calling me back all this while, but I've been too busy to sleep nor do I have the time to dream of coming back. My marriage had been established and when I wake up, I will be marrying a stranger," she elaborated
"Is it one of the prince?" Rain asked
"Of course, my father is loyal to the royals. They can even sell their only daughter to secure their standing in the future. My life had been declared when I first cried in this world"
"Then you're just like Wind?" Sunlight spoke and stared at my location
"Not really. I am above you all" she reminded
"Are you happy, Ivy?" I asked her
Before, I didn't ask myself if I'll be happy once I married my future husband. I then met Winter and those thoughts started emerging inside my head. I always told myself that if my family wants or needs me to marry a man to secure their lives, I will take the risk. My happiness is to see that my parents are living a comfortable life and I didn't pay attention to my own decision. As I stayed here, thoughts of not waking up or choosing to live here engulfed me. I've been selfish.
"Why will I not? If I became a princess, my husband will pamper me. He will give me everything. If he sits on the throne, then my life will be merrier" she proudly stated
"Will it be fine to just marry him not because you love him, but because you're obsessed with his money?" Rain asked
"No way, marriage for noble ladies can't be compared with those who are in a common family. We don't have the freedom to speak or to laugh loudly. We are always restricted and should be formal no matter where we go. Being in this kind of family, love is the very least we take priority" she answered
Yes, it's true. I never felt being suffocated at home because my parents love me so much that they don't want to hinder me from what I can be. Some girls aren't living the way similar to mine. I'm just lucky that my mother is from a common family while my father is kind and forgiving. They always spoiled me and never chained me to something that will mistake me of being their doll.
"Was that true, Wind? Did they manipulate you to marry your engaged husband?" Sunlight yelled as though she's enraged
"My husband loves me very much. His parents are loving and kind too. They visited me two times a week and we had conversations. I love his family and being part of it is one of my wishes too. My father told me he'll help me escape if I didn't fell for him, thus I have no worries about what's going to happen. It never crossed my mind that they are controlling my life. Don't worry, Sunlight. I can manage my life after being here. I will never be maltreated because I'm a shut-in" I answered and smiled
"Wind is always this good girl when talking about her family. I kind of feel envious. Can you adopt me?" Sunlight mumbled
"Okay sister. From now on, you'll be my elder sister" I said
"Don't fool me" she pouted and they laughed
"I'm serious" I replied
"I'll try to find you. I'm sure my father can find his way. Just imagine, my mother was an anonymous artist and my father loves her paintings. She was found out in just a few days. How can it be impossible for me to look for you and be my sister?" I added
"She's just joking, Wind. You don't need to take it seriously," Rain said
"No way! It's a good opportunity to find a loving sister like Sunlight. I even wished to adopt you Rain if only Autumn didn't wish to secure your life by living with your father to the master. But still, I will find your winery and ask my father to invest! My father loved wine so much, so I don't think he'll object" I smiled
"That's too much, Wind, you don't have to do that" Rain opposed
"I'll still do it. If it's the only way I can meet you all again. I will go outside and let Leaf and Dahlia's family design my gown. I will also look for you, Ivy. I felt it would be nice to chat with you and shared some tea. I guess I can learn something from you too, Miss Aria will be glad if she knew I have a great friend teaching me the basics of being a lady" I stated
"Me? I was never good for you. You should be hating me. I stole Winter to you" she said while blushing
"Mother said, people do nasty things for only two reasons, they care for you or they envy things about you"
"You became insecure about yourself because I stole your lover when you're away. I am at fault because I fell in love with a guy who was already engaged to another. I feel sorry for that"
"Fell in love?" Rain and Sunlight spoke, astonished
"That's a bit mind-blowing for me" Dahlia added and sipped her tea
"I'm speechless," Ivy said too
Thus, I laughed so hard. It's the only thing I know that won't hurt anyone. I laughed until I cried out as my tummy hurts so badly. I need to keep this phase until all this stabbing knives stopped.
"Hey, don't be like that," I said between my laughs
"You're not dense. You're selfless" Dahlia uttered
Rain hugged me and cried again.
"This is Wind's cry. I will be your eyes, Wind. If you can't let it out, I'll do it for you. This altruistic girl is very rare to find" she said
Sunlight hugged me too so does Dahlia. I saw Ivy bowed her head.
"You're not to be blamed, Ivy. Come, this is my last hug with all of you" I said and hugged her
"I'm so sorry for being immature, Wind" she wept
"You don't need to be sorry. This heart will be mended by the man waiting for me" I said
I wish my future husband can do so, I will try to love him wholeheartedly. I will give my all to him and never forget how it feels to be in love with Winter.
Dear Winter,
Before you leave, I want to express my gratitude to you. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things during my stay in this paradise. I learned a lot and you changed me into a better version of me. You've been my comfort zone all this time and because you let me experienced how it's like to be a housewife, I will treasure it inside my soul. I will always remember you deep in my heart as I face the real world, as I become a wife to my husband.
I feel sorry because I can't return the love that you've given me, but please hold onto my promise that wherever we are, I am with you. If your mind can't remember me at all, my heart will speak into your soul. I hope you will continue to forgive, accept, and love yourself as I told you. I will always care for you and I hope as the wind blows, my whispers will motivate you to move forward in your next destination. You will always be my warmth of solace as I watch the snowflakes falling in the first winter frost.
P.S. Even if my mind forgets, my heart will never be faltered. My life with you is the happiest moment that I will forever remember until my last breath.
