17 Chapter 17
I'm awakened by a rustling sound near me. I combed my hair using my fingers and tried to get my vision clear. This familiar scent, the ceiling, my clothes, the bed... I took another glance at my surroundings. I'm home! I'm finally home!
"Nana! Nan... You woke up?" Miss Aria paused, bewildered by the sudden turn of event
I slowly got up and open my arms asking for an embrace. She's confused but hugged me. I can't hold my tears anymore so I hid my face on her tummy as I let out my silent sobs.
"What's the matter, my dear student?" she asked
"Nothing, Miss Aria. I just missed you" I whispered and hugged her tightly
"Where's my parents?" I questioned as I started grooming myself
"They were at the lobby talking to your mother-in-law" she replied and pulled out a light blue maxi dress
She assisted me in ornamenting my hair which suits the dress she chose. It's almost Winter and I wonder if I even love to watch the first snow to fall. I walked elegantly just how Miss Aria taught me and mind my manners as I greeted back the maids and butlers who passed by.
"You looked different," Miss Aria noticed
"Am I?" I asked her and she just shook her head
I proceed to the main hall and saw the solemn look of a woman with a similar age as my parents. She smiled as she caught me looking at her. It melted my heart as though I've been fooling them all this time. This pain Winter left me changed me into something I don't even know I can be. I feel sorry for my parents and to this man who has been waiting for me all this time. I wish I could get back my innocence from where I don't know what love is.
"Good morning, Lady Nana. You're so gorgeous" she praised
"It's my pleasure to be complemented by an outstanding lady in front of me, Mrs. Snowfield" I greeted her
She looked a bit surprised by my choice of words and later on smiled again. How comforting it would be if I sincerely accepted her son and be under her wings. I can have two loving mothers and two protective fathers. It will surely be nice, way better than that dream.
"You have a great teacher, Nana" she started
Miss Aria smiled and bowed her head as a sign of respect. Mrs. Snowfield greeted her too with a smile.
"You seemed to grow in quite some time? When was the last time I visited?" she asked me
"It's been 4 days, 7 hours and 23 minutes, my lady" I answered as I took my diary to check if I am on the same date before I entered that dream
"So accurate" she laughed
"I just love your presence that I counted the time, Mrs. Snowfield" I answered and smiled
"Call me, mother. It feels so distant to be called as Mrs. Snowfield" she requested
"Okay... Mother" I replied hesitantly and glanced at my smiling parents
I left them because they will discuss something that they said I might not take my interest. I invited Miss Aria to the garden, but she said, I can take a breath because I performed well. I sat on the bench and exhaled a deep sighed. I betrayed my engaged husband because I married a stranger in my dream. Will he laugh at me if I told him about this dream? I saw a man wearing a beige three-laced suit in our garden. Even though his body posture resembled someone to me, he's still unfamiliar. I silently walked towards him as he quickly turns his head to me.
He grabbed my shoulder and shook me vigorously that I felt dizzy.
"Wind! Wind! Wake up!" he said
I held my head as I tried to adapt myself to the dizziness. My hazy vision became clearer as I saw Master Heat's face close to mine. I automatically pushed him as I heard Sunlight's laugh just above me.
"You did wake up with that shaking, Wind? I admire you!" she jested
"Thanks for that compliment, Sunlight" I answered back that made her laugh more
"What are you doing sleeping in the snow? If I hadn't gone on your house, you could die" he said angrily
"I'm sorry Master Heat, thank you for saving my life" I responded and tried to sit
Sunlight supported me and I've got the picture of what place we are in. It was one of the cottages at the seaside. How can I be here? Did Master Heat carry me until we arrived?
"Why were you lying in the snow?" Sunlight asked
"Don't tell me you've been kicked out by that stupid ice block?" he warned
"No! I left the house" I answered
"Are you defending him? I am telling you he's not worth it. Wind, don't protect him anymore. Now that he has Ivy, I will never doubt that he already abandoned you" Heat uttered
The memory flashed back in my mind and my tears became a broken faucet that doesn't want to stop. I didn't sob anymore. This time, it's just my tears that will speak for me. I alerted Heat and he panicked. Sunlight hit him and pulled me into a hug.
"I'm sorry, I didn't notice that it's been this hard for you, Nana" she whispered
Rain came in a hurry as she struck the door forcefully and jumped into me as she cried out.
"Wind! What did happen to you? I will cry in your stead" she greeted wetting my cheeks
"I think I am not needed here anymore" Heat perceived as he bid his goodbye and leave the room
"What happened?" they asked again
"I want to go home" I cried to them and hugged them both
They waited until I calmed down. No, it's only Sunlight who waited for us to calmed down.
"Winter loves Ivy, didn't he?" I asked
"What did he do?" Sunlight questioned as she's clenching her fist tightly
"Nothing. He just showed me that I don't need to meddle in Snow Area anymore" I replied and gave them a smile
"WHAT?!?!" they both shouted in chorus
We held Sunlight down as she was about to run to Winter Area to murder Winter. I bowed down to hide my face from them because any time I know that I will cry again.
"You're the real lady of snow. How can he do that to you? Did he betray you? Did he cheated?" Sunlight asked
We all became silent as the door swang open and the man I am wishing to see and not see rushed in. His clothes were crippled and in mess, his black hair was never groomed like he just woke up and his brown eyes were swollen as if he cried. I don't know why I always tend to stop breathing as he gets closer to me. I should wake up in this dream or it will drive me insane.
"I've been looking for you in these past months," he said
Months? I've been staying here for how many months already? How come I feel like it was just yesterday when I breakdown in the snow?
"I thought you told me that we'll spend the last days with each other? Why did you leave?" he added
I can't find the right words to say. I want to scream. I want to hurt him. I want to throw all those damn questions: Why did he do that? What am I to you? Why did you come here? Why do you always make me feel this way? Why do I feel that I hated you the most, however, I also loved you more than I could ever do? I hate you, but I love you too. I want to push you away, yet my body won't retaliate and just want us to be like this.
"Let's stop this, Winter" I whispered and he twitched
I pushed him lightly and caressed his face.
"Let's stop pretending, okay?" I repeated
"What are you talking about? What do I need to pretend?" he asked, confused.
"How many days left?" I uttered
"3 days" he answered back
I smiled. I tried my best to keep my genuine smile for the very last time.
"I promised I'll never leave you. I promised to stay by your side, aren't I?" I asked him
He's stunned by my words. I can feel his body tensed up as I reminded him of those promises.
"Nothing happened between me and Ivy. I don't love her, Wind. I only love you" he confessed
"I believe you" I responded that it's almost like a whisper
"Then why..."
"Winter, who will leave this place first? Is it me or you?" I asked him as if he knew my timeline
"M-me. I'll be back here. I promise! I'll come back to you. Wind, I didn't do anything to hurt you. Please... Please go home with me" he said as he dried his escaped tears
"Winter, it's just too much. I can never stay forever in this place but I will hold my promise. I will be by your side even if you don't see me anymore. I... I just need some time right now. Can you... Can you grant this favor for me?" I said
My tears fell as I caressed his face for the last time held his hands and squeezed it. He kissed mine and held it tightly like he never wanted to leave me. I reached my other hand to touch him and shoved it away. He stood and turned his back. It hurts me inside like my whole body was thorned and my heart is pricked by millions of needles.
"Winter..."
I called but no voice came out. Maybe this is for the best. Let's just keep it here inside. All my feelings and emotions, my memories for him will be well-kept. I will never take a detour again. I will comply with my parents want and marry a stranger, but I know deep in my soul, I already offered my love to a non-existent being. No matter if I can't see you in my real world, I will still wait and love you for all eternity. My white, innocent love during the winter frost.
