1 Chapter 1 : Returned

She kept standing in the window of her haunted room. She had lost so much time in her life and now she did not know where to start again. She had returned to the place she had once left behind pursuing her dream. But now she was back. And she was not sure she had done the right thing but was back.

She had thought several times wondering if it was the right thing to do, but in the end she had decided to give a chance to that small country that she once hated so much.

A small house filled with so many memories. How could contain so many moments, so many dusty memories, moments of childhood that she too had forgotten. Every corner of that house reminded her of what she once was. The girl she had tried to forget for years. But in the end she had found herself again returning to that little one, to that innocent child with desire to live. But whether she could return to such an innocent child after all she had experienced even she did not know. Maybe she had missed the painful life she once had or missed the people who had turned their backs on her without the slightest explanation...

She had loved those people so much, she continued to love them, but at the same time she hated them for leaving her behind as "trash". Can you love someone and hate at the same time?

She still loved them and missed but at the same time hated so much. If they had not left her, she would never have been forced to live the life she had lived. Who knows what her life would be like, who knows where it would be now?!

Maybe she would have died from the tortures of those people, maybe she would have given up her tired life, who knows. But they were her family.

She had thought about this many times. She had dreamed of a family like those in fairy tales. For a father who would protect and become her hero. For a mother to stroke her hair when life tires her. A brother with whom they would quarrel and share their toys together. But it had never happened. That dream had simply remained a dream that would never come true.

She had become so accustomed to loneliness that she had given up being with someone.

She had suffered so much after every time someone had entered her life and left when she had been exploited enough. They had left her, making her life so woolly, they had all left.

Maybe life had mocked him, maybe people who edi.

But did she deserve all this?

Did she deserve this pain , a loving and innocent child like her?

Then why did all this really happen?

Why no one had loved her the way she wanted. Why did everyone leave her?

Wasn't it good enough to love her?

She had tortured herself with the same questions for years. Questions she did not know the answers to, she had never learned.

But she had learned to face everything alone, to be silent when in fact she had so many words to say, not to cry.

She had learned to be strong . Life had not given her the right to choose ...

There was only one way; to manage, no matter what, to continue living.

She had not cried, not even when the closest people had abandoned her, not even when life had hit harder than it should. She had never found the strength to cry.

Maybe she was scared. Fear that if she cried the pain would end, fear that she would forget everything she had gone through.

For years she had failed to trust anyone in her life. For years had tortured herself by telling that she did not deserve anyone's love.

She had never talked to anyone about it. She did not trust anyone enough to tell her about her childhood.

But now she had grown up, she had become such a proud, strong and powerful woman at the same time. She had promised that would never allow anyone to exploit her and throw like a "rag" behind back and she had done it. In her life she had not trusted any man by not giving the opportunity to play with .

She had learned a lesson from every loss of a part of her life.

But after each departure someone had taken a part of her soul with leaving that place to be emptied. The void which she had filled with a lesson learned. She kept repeating the same things over and over again.

She had not forgotten for a moment anything from her life, becoming even stronger.

More ruthless, more proud. She had built such high walls around her heart, walls that no one had been able to cross until now.

But where were her people today, those who had mercilessly abandoned her?

Today she was back in her old land. She knew no one would be there to wait for her but she was back again. But no longer as a child, but as a woman who had fought so hard to stay alive. But she had succeeded, she had achieved every goal in her life by keeping every promise she had made to herself.

And life had never been good with her ; nor when she had begged to stand beside her only one man, someone with whom she would be held after life, nor now that she had grown up and become a woman.

Life had always been challenging by knocking her to the ground many times, but she had always risen. Alone, she managed to survive the waves of her life with a half-broken boat.

Little Ria had already become a woman; a headless woman, silent, with her fighting spirit, and at the same time fragile, fed by the wounds that people had inflicted on her, with a half-broken heart, with a wounded soul. But she was alive. She had managed to survive even after all that she had lived 13 years ago.

She had to live when her people threw her in the middle of the street like garbage.