2 Numb To The Feeling

My tolerance is going up

And I'm getting numb to the feeling, yeah

And I've been abusing drugs

I'm getting numb to the feeling, yeah

I need you to show me love

'Cause I'm getting numb to the feeling, yeah

I need you to ride me harder when we fuck

'Cause I'm getting numb to the feeling, whoa

💊💊 {3 Years Later}💊💊

I woke up to the feeling of being shaked groaning I move away from whoever is trying to wake me up.

"Andi get your lazy ass up."

I sigh opening an eye to see Angeline sitting on my bed.

I groan flipping onto my back. "What time is it?"

Picking up my phone from my bedside table she clicks it on. "Uhm..10 after 8."

I sit up quickly. "What?! Oh no I'm late!" hopping out of bed I run to my bathroom turning on the shower, running back into my room I see Angeline still sitting on my bed going through my phone.

Walking into my closet I pick out jeans and my favorite Chase Atlantic sweater throwing that on my bed I run back to the bathroom grabbing my toothbrush and paste.

"Angie! What's going on?" I yell from the shower.

I see her walk in the bathroom from inside the shower, hopping up on the counter she scrolls.

"Well, you have 10 unread messages from Onai," she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Next."

"3 new messages from Gerald."

I sigh putting paste on my toothbrush. "Just go down the list." I said shoving my brush in my mouth.

"A missed video chat from Eric, and the rest are all missed messages from Onai, Gerald, Cameron and Jacob. Oh! you have a message from your mom." she said.

I freeze, my mom? It's been 3 years since I talked to her, why is she texting me now?

"Want me to open it?" she asked eagerly.

I spit and rinse out my mouth. "No, I don't want to talk to her." I grab my towel hanging on my shower and wrap it around my body before stepping out.

She shrugs putting my phone down on the counter. "Okay hun, hurry and get dressed I have your breakfast on the table ready to go."

I nod. "I'm already running late so I might as well take my time, I'll just work late to make up for it."

Blow drying my hair and combing through it, drying myself off I just drop my towel on the floor and walk into my room where I laid my clothes out.

Walking to my dresser I pull out the bottom draw and I freeze, this all seems too familiar but I'm not searching for pills this time, pulling out a pair of grey underwear and I bra to match I close the drawer, starting to get dress.

Throwing the hoodie over myself I put my foot into my black and white checkered converse grabbing my mini backpack I throw on my beanie,walking to the kitchen to see Angeline setting down the plates.

I sit picking up my fork getting ready to dig in she smacks my hand.

Yelping I pull my hand back holding it to my chest. "Ow! why chu do dat?" I said in a baby voice

She rolls her eyes. "Grace bitch."

I sigh and we grab each other hands and I speak. "Dear heavenly father, I thank you for waking us up to see another day, breathing life into us, I ask that you bless the families of those who didn't get to see another day, bless me and Angeline on our way to work today and bless our families, Amen."

I let go of her hands and start to chow down, while Angeline just stared at me, "What?" I said with a mouthful.

She shrugged. "I was wondering."

"About?"

"Do you mind if I date..Jacob?" she asks biting her lip nervously.

I keep eating. "No go ahead."

She tenses up more. "A-are you sure? I don't want to-"

I cut her off. "Angie date the guy, I don't feel anything for him, or for anyone for that matter, I'm numb to the feeling."

She lets out a breath I don't even think she knew she was holding and smiled. "Thanks babes and do you always have to quote Chase Atlantic?"

I nod smiling getting up to put my dish in the sink, while washing it I hear an alarm go off. "Is that your phone?"

I listen. "Yeah, I think I left it in the bathroom." putting my dish away I go to grab my phone from the bathroom.

Picking it up I look at the time 8:50.

I grit my teeth. "Holy fuck I'm late." grabbing my charger and headphones I rush back to Angie, kissing her head bye I grab my keys and mini backpack and I'm out the door.

Walking down the street I pull my hoodie up over my head and put in my earbuds blasting my music.

Devilish by Chase Atlantic blares through my earbuds, People wonder why I listen to them so much, its because their music was there for me even when people weren't.

Waiting at the bus stop I sit going through messages, reading Onai's, he's still bugging to take me out, but I turned him down, the first time he took me on a date he tried to have sex with me.

I'm not for that.

Reading through the other's I deleted them, they are all irrelevant, it's like they got nothing better to do with their lives except chase after a girl.

I see one message I haven't opened, that I curved for the past 10 minutes, hesitating to tap the message the bus pulls up and I let out a breath, I did not want to open it.

Paying the bus fee I walk to the middle of the bus and take a seat near the window, looking at the gloomy sky, watching rain pelts hit the glass.

The bus stopped and more people boarded, one person I didn't want to see at all boarded and I felt all my breakfast starting to come up.

Making his way down the isle his eyes land on mine and he smiles moving to sit next to me, I immediately turn up the volume on my phone, pretending I didn't see him.

Sitting next to me, he stares at me thinking I'd turn his way, I practically pushed my damn face to the glass.

I feel a tap on my shoulder, cringing I turn to him fake smiling "Oh hey Onai, I didn't see you board" I cringe on the inside at how fake I sound, but he bought it.

"Yeah hey Andi, what's going on? You ok? You haven't been answering my messages, I see you read them though." he leaned in a little closer searching my eyes to see if a lie is creeping through them.

Many lies lurk behind my eyes but nobody can see them because they're dead, my emotion in my eyes died with me three years ago in that tub.

"I'm on my way to work right now, Yeah I'm fine and well I haven't had the time to talk to people lately." I shrugged.

"Oh really? you work? Where at? Maybe I can come scoop you when you get off work." he said watching me waiting on an answer.

"No, but thanks though, I have plans tonight." I said praying my stop comes fast.

His features changed and his voice lowered. "With a guy?"

I wasn't paying attention. "What? Oh yeah I got a date tonight." I see my stop coming up and I hit the button hopping up "Bye Onai" I scurry down the isle to the door.

The doors sliding open I step off the bus without looking back I began to walk the rest of the way to my job, shivering I feel his eyes on me, I walk faster hitting the corner feeling safer.

I walk into the bookstore where I work and I prepared myself. "Your late!"

Ms. Wong my boss comes from behind a book rack her face semi angry. "I'm sorry Ms. Wong, I-"

"-Woke up late, as usual" she said rolling her eyes.

I crack a smile walking towards her slowly my arms wide. "Mssssssss. Wong, my favorite boss, did anyone tell you how beautiful you look today?" I wrapped her in a big hug.

She sighed. "Andi I'm your ONLY boss, don't try to get out of working late tonight, you shouldn't have overslept, for the 100th time."

I pout letting her go, she flicks my bottom lip. "Don't make that face, you have a phone and an alarm use it" she walks off. "Now get to work."

🌙🌙~11 o'clock pm~🌙🌙

Sitting at behind the counter watching Ms. Wong fix the bookshelves for the 100th time, I chuckle. "Ms Wong, the shelves are neat as fuck go home."

She picks up her purse and put on her trench coat. "Fine fine, make sure you lock up."

I nod. "I always do, get home safe Ms. Wong, see you tomorrow."

She waves stepping out into the night, the door closes and I lean back resting against the shelf behind me.

Taking out my phone I get on Snapchat, looking at the top I see I have 10 new snap adds I click adding all of them until I realized my mistake, I added a name back that said "It's ya boi Onai" I mentally shoot myself in the head.

I swipe over to my camera and see myself in it I admit I look good today, putting my hand on my mouth I angle my camera the right way and snap the picture.

It came out really good.

I sent it to my story, I put my phone down and stretch then I get a message from someone on snapchat.

I open my phone and see it's from Onai sighing I open the message and see my photo and his message attached to the bottom saying. "You look good, good enough to take to the movies? lol."

I rolled my eyes and started to type a long message on why I don't want to go, while in the middle of doing so the door opens making the bell jingle, I look up to see a customer wearing a black trench-coat, a mask ,grey pants and chains walk in.

"Welcome" I said eyeing his attire, really nice.

The person nodded and walked towards the horror isle, I looked back at my phone seeing Onai's bitmoji icon and I exited the chat.

Hooking my phone up to the store's speaker I began to play my favorite song by Chase Atlantic- Cassie, taking out a magazine I began to read and sing along, forgetting that I had customer.

Maybe about 2 minutes into singing and reading, a book slides my way, jumping I gasped holding my chest.

"Jesus, you scared me." I said trying to calm my beating heart, taking the book I began to ring it up.

The person chuckles. "I'm sorry, you were too into your own world to notice me standing here for 2 minutes."

I blushed. "I'm so sorry." I hand him the book and I catch the name of it.

The chronicles of Vladimir Tod

"This is a really good book" I said.

"Oh? You've read it?" he asked.

"Many times, I've read the whole series actually." I said.

The person stood there looking at the book and I hear GREENGREENGREEN play through the speakers. "Oh I love this song."

He nods as if agreeing. "Yeah Chase Atlantic is a dope band."

I gasped. "You know them?!"

"Of course, who don't?" he said laughing.

"Uhm stupid people." I laughed.

"How long have you known them?"

I thought for a moment. "Since 'What About Tonight' X Factor in Australia."

"Wow your a big fan." he said whistling and I noticed he has a accent.

"Yeah I am."

"Whose your favorite member?"

I bit my lip. "Mitchel hands down."

He's quiet for a moment. "I have to go, it was nice talking to you." walking away he holds up the book. "I'll come back for the rest."

I laugh and I look at the time 11:40pm, I start to gather my stuff packing up, I cut off all the lights and I step out into the humid cool Seattle night and lock the door I move it to make sure it's locked.

I make my way down to the bus stop, not knowing I was being watched.

Plugging in my headphones I play Cassie and sit at the bus stop.

Thinking back to the guy at the counter, I realized there was something familiar about him, his accent sounds familiar too, and his voice.

The bus pulls up at the stop and I get on settling in a window seat,I see a dark figure standing at the bench staring up at the bus windows, I couldn't see his/her face but it sent shivers down my spine.

The bus rumbled on and the figure still stood there watching after it, I turned and settled in my seat, a feeling telling me that isn't the last time I'm going to see whoever that was.