Why are you wearing a suit?

Ah, Mondays.

I love Mondays.

I know I'm probably alone on that part but I'm alone for most parts anyway.

Mother used to call me strange, as did father, my brother, his friends, my sisters, their friends, my friends and even my teachers; who once called my mother in for my peculiarity, you train a few crows to snag some bread and suddenly your planning to overthrow the principal with your demon army.

Man, Catholic school was fun. I'll never forget you Mother superior Maria, you crazy old bat.

But back to the Monday thing;

Monday was a work day and I love work days.

I mean sure I was working yesterday but no one knew that heck you're not supposed to know that but since I clearly lack common sense I'll let you in on an even bigger secret.

"I'm My Own Grandfather."

Yep, it's true! And no I didn't go back in time and do the nasty with my grandmother you perverted little kitten, this isn't a Harry Potter time turner fanfiction gone horribly wrong, besides I'm a girl.

This is the grand tale of how I, Alanna Ritz McCain, a twenty-five-year-old bitch with a hankering for a cinnamon roll took over the largely super-old-caucasian-dick dominated business world by making them believe that I, an ambivert-yaoi-loving-nerd, am indeed a nearly senile old dick!

789 days and they still don't know, the hot as fuck secretary with a big booty and the face of a cutie is their boss.

The boss.

The awe-inspiring leader of the I.M.O.G group who had risen in both prosperity and wealth in the span of three years dominating and completely obliterating the competition was indeed their boss.

Yell all you want, that this is rather regressive, its the twenty-first century how hard can it be to get to the top as a female? don't we all receive the same education? arent we all just beings of flesh and blood? why must you dress like a senior citizen to get a job?

How hard can it be to be the boss as a girl?

Ha! even if you cross out the disrespect, ridiculously high expectations and agonizing subscription to lucifers red waterfall every month its still pretty damn hard dude! And I'll show you just how hard it is in between trysts with the super hot but real pain in the ass sons of my associates, dodging the press and their scandals about me being a sugar daddy and the daunting task taking my company global,

you'll see just how hard it is to be working be a working woman in this world but you'll also see how hilarious it can be

Its gonna be fun my bitches!

We'll laugh and cry and lose our minds over every little thing as we try to make this work but first I need a cinnamon roll i haven't had breakfast in a week and the meeting starts in three minutes i haven't even put on my beard yet, better get myself in there and get me one.

And thus the tale begins!

join me in this fuckery and if we get caught for impersonating my dead granddaddy along the way welp, I lose millions and I'll probably get arrested.

Also, it seems that a bunch of CEO's think that by marrying me or their sons marrying me they will successfully amalgamate our two companies toghether, creating an indomitable business force that might make them trillionaires,

perhaps it would have been better to be born ugly.... this face calls too many flies.

Fun times, yay!