6 Chapter 6: Why Did You Choose Me?

Fear travels through my veins but I try to cover it up by putting on a strained smile as Nate and I sit across from Negan in his bedroom. "How have you been liking it here, Carmen?" He asks me, staring deep in my eyes. "um, pretty good. I guess" I say nervously. "It just tickles my balls to hear that! " he shoots me an even bigger smile then glances over at Nate.

"and you?"

"Great, we're very grateful to be here," he says with his hands clasped together in his lap. Negan stands and walks behind us, but we both keep looking forward. "Now that the boring stuff is out of the way, we got some important shit to talk about" his footsteps stop directly behind me. "I have a new brilliant fucking deal, for the two of you" Nate and I look at each other. I'm more curious, then scared, hoping that whatever he says next, isn't something insane.

Negan puts his hands on my shoulders and leans to whisper in my ear. "How would you like to be my wife?" shocked by his proposal, I quickly jump to my feet and turn to face him. "you can't be serious. I can't believe you would even think I would agree to this!"

Nate also stands and grips my waist, "with all due respect sir, she's mine and it's gonna stay that way" his combativeness pisses Negan off. The emotions in his eyes become more intense. "Wrong answer!" he slams Lucile onto the ground then takes out his walkie-talkie. "Dwight, I got someone that needs a little time out"

"Rodger, that I'm on my way" he breathlessly responds as we hear his rapid footsteps through the speaker. 

"You can't do this, he hasn't done anything wrong" tears begin to flow down my face. "he follows every single one of your rules! and never once thought of breaking them!" I scream standing in-front of Nate trying to block him from Negan's wrath. "That's where you're wrong, doll-face, he has broken one of my rules. the most important one at that, he denied me what I want" He says swing his bat side to side with a disturbed grin. Nate grabs my arm and pulls me back, "baby let me handle this", he confronts Negan face to face. "I've been obedient for all this time but this is one thing I can't allow you to do" his tone is calm but defiant as they stare each other down.

"You don't allow me to do anything, Nathaniel, and you're gonna learn that real fucking soon" Negan's knuckles begin to turn white by how hard he's griping Lucile. I notice this and force my body back in-between them, "please, don't do this to us" my voice now shaking. I see the way he looks at me begin to change. His face shows sympathy but I know that the feeling is only temporary.

"Aw, Carmen, you know I don't like to see a beautiful woman so upset" he reaches to wipe my cheek but Nate slaps his hand away. "Don't touch my wife" he takes another step to him but seconds before one of them could take the first swing. Dwight rushes through the door with his crossbow in hand "What's going on?"

"I'm gonna need you to take care of this problem for me" he points Lucile at Nate. Dwight nods then turns to him "don't make this any harder than this has to be, it won't end well for you or her" Dwight walks behind him grabbing his hands and restraining them.

"Fuck, both of you! You better not lay a finger on her!" He yells before resentfully submitting to Dwight as he is led out the room. I can tell by his eyes that he doesn't want to leave me but he and I both know that he has no other option. 

"Well, it's just you and me now, sweet cheeks," he says as he goes to sit on the couch. I don't say anything but I follow him and sit on the opposite end. "The answer is still no," I say without looking up. He chuckles and slides closer to me "you don't have a choice, Carmen"

"but I thought rape was against your rules" he sighs sounding annoyed "All I said was that you're my wife not that I'm gonna force you to spread your legs" he puts his arm around me,  "because even just looking at you is enough for me honey" his hand slides up my thigh just as tears fall from my eyes for the second time today but I manage to find the courage to speak "can you at least promise me that Nate will be okay" he creases my face, "I promise, as my wife, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you" his lips slowly touch mine but I don't kiss back instead I break contact "Why did you choose me?" he grunts impatiently "because your smoking hot and it would be great having a nice piece of ass to come home to every day" he chuckles and tries to kiss me again but I turn my head causing his lips to meet my cheek. "What do you want me for then?" I ask him, I don't see the point of me being here if he knows I'm not going to have sex with him. "I want you to be my little stress reliever"

"Ugh, in your dreams" I stand up and walk towards the door. "Where do you think you're going" he follows me, making me turn around, "for a walk"

"I don't fucking think so" he swiftly grabs my hand and pulls me back to the couch. "Actually you're gonna stay here while I finish my work for the day" I roll my eyes but don't argue, thoughts of escape races through my mind. "Be a good girl, and maybe I'll have a surprise for you when I get back" he leaves locking the door behind him.

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Hours past, and by now I've searched every inch of this room for a spare key or anything I could unlock the door with but I've failed. I decided that I might as well use his bath before he gets back since I'm stuck here anyway.

I step in the large tub of warm water letting it consume me and wash away all of the worries of the day. I take one of Negan's unused rags and wash my body top to bottom. For the first time in years, I'm using an actual bar of soap. Usually, I would rely on water to do the job but now I'm experiencing the luxuries of my new life. I run my fingers through my hair as my body relaxes. What am I doing here? I think to myself wishing there was a way out of this bullshit deal. I can't sit back as Nate is abused and tortured in that dirty tiny cell. Whatever I have to do to get Negan to let him go, I will do no matter how hard it's going to be.

I slip my head under the water blocking out my thoughts but images of Nate being locked away fill my brain. I open my mouth and let out a silent scream as bubbles form at the surface of the water. The feeling of being trapped has always been the one thing that is enough to break me down.