1 Prologue: Starting my new life

After eating dinner when I was going back to my room, mom stopped me,

- "Jin-ae did you check if you have packed everything or not? We have to leave early in the morning so you will not have the time to pack before that?"

I could clearly see how worried she was. She looked like someone who will cry at any moment now.

- "Don't worry mom,I've packed everything"

-"How can I not worry? From tomorrow you are going to live all by yourself, new place, new people... and you've never lived by yourself before. I'm dying just by thinking about it."

Before mom could say anymore dad shouted, "AHHHH~ Stop it!! You are like this since the day the result was published. Sooner or later she has to leave us and do something for herself. On her own. Were you planning to always keep her under your protection?"

Hearing dad, mom became even more sad.

I'm not good at expressing my feelings in front of my parents, so I just stood there awkwardly and said nothing.

Dad looked at her and sighed. Then continued,

-"She will be fine. There will be a lot of kids who never lived alone before just like Jin-ae. She will learn by facing everything and what are we for? It's not like Busan is really~ that far from Seoul. If anything happens we will just rush to her. Don't worry"

Mom seemed to be lil' relief by dad's words, so I just came back to my room.

***

My name is Park Jin-ae(20). I'm moving to Seoul tomorrow, to start my new life at Dang Hee University..

It's not like I'm really happy or anything. It was my second time trying. I should've done better.I used to be a top student... As I think of this I take deep sigh. Even though I couldn't live upto my expectations, my parents are not sad. They are just happy that I'm finally starting my life in a new way.

It wasn't long ago when I didn't step outside the house for 5 straight months,like never. I even hardly ever stepped outside my room.

My mom used to leave my foods and water, everything in front my room. Staying up all night, going to sleep at morning, skipping meals, no friends, no one to talk to, scrolling through internet all the time, that was my life. My mom and dad thought I was like this because my result and performance was horrible. But I couldn't tell them what was actually killing me from inside. I was depressed because of my result, yes, but that was not all.

I don't know how many times I tried to kill myself, but I just couldn't go with it. I was too afraid to end my life.

Until one day I decided to live again.I'm sick of living like this. I have always lived following others and for others, but no more.

From tomorrow I will live my life following only me and myself.

***