The Guiding Light Of Healing-Jinhai’s Point of View

[ This chapter takes place at the end of Chapter 46- The Nightmare That Began All Nightmares through to the previous chapter- The Guiding Light of Healing part four.]

Jinhai got ready for bed and then laid down. He had one arm under the pillow to support his head. He stared up at the ceiling thinking about Evelyn.

She thought that he had abandoned her when she needed him. He understood now that that was what she had trouble forgiving him for. He had promised her when she was fourteen that he would always be there for her.

He had failed. He closed his eyes hoping that it would ease his feelings of guilt. It didn't.

That beautiful girl that had come crying to him all those years ago, was the same one that he began to fall in love with.

Of course he understood how inappropriate it was, so he made sure to treat her like his little sister. He kept his distance, but always looked out for her.

Right now he knew, that he had to figure out how to be there for her the way he was that night. That was what she needed from him now.

As he remembered the events of that night, he suddenly knew what he had to do. He sat up and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. Poor Assistant Xin, he would have errands to run at 3 o'clock in the morning.

- - - - -

Jinhai woke up bright before the sun rose the next day. He did a quick workout in his home gym, then took a quick shower. He threw on the first suit he grabbed from the closet.

He grabbed his wallet, keys, phone, and his pre-packed suitcase. He often had to travel for business and often enough, had to be ready at a moment's notice.

The sun had begun to rise and he made his way to his car. He placed his suitcase into the trunk of his car and then got in.

Along the way, he listened to the stock market as was his usual routine. A sinister smile played at his lips as they announced the continued decline of Cheng's Global Corp's stock.

Then he listened to the radio and his hands gripped the steering wheel, when he heard news of Shawn and his dirty little mistress. He smashed his finger against the panel to change the station.

He got to the bakery and took a slow breath to calm himself, before he got out of the car. The owner of the bakery was a friend and had everything ready for him before he arrived.

"Sorry for the suddenness," Jinhai said to his elementary school friend.

"Don't worry about it, what's the occasion?" Lei asked him. Jinhai gave a wry smile.

"Breakfast," he said simply. "Breakfast? For an army?" Lei asked. Lei exaggerated as there wasn't quite that much food. But it was definitely more than food than just one person.

"I'll tell you later," Jinhai said. He thanked Lei then left the bakery. Jinhai drove to Evelyn's apartment.

The guy at the front waved him in. After he gave him his name.

When Jinhai approached Evelyn's door he smoothed a hand down his coat before ringing her doorbell. When no one responded after a while he decided to call her.

No one picked up the phone and he knocked on her door again.

When no one answered, he called the front desk and the guy told him that she had gone outside about thirty minutes ago. Jinhai was seething. The guy couldn't have mentioned this ten minutes ago?

Jinhai leaned back against the wall next to her door. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He tipped his head back and silently counted.

Not long after he heard the elevator moving. He took one hand out of his pocket but remained leaning against the wall.

The doors finally opened to reveal a slightly winded Evelyn and a cheerful Coffee. His fatigue and bad mood went away instantly.

"Jinhai, what are you doing here?" Evelyn asked him. 'Gee, good to see you too, Princess,' he thought.

He greeted her and lifted up the bag of pastures and coffee. She smiled at him and greeted him.

She opened the door to let them in. She let Coffee off his leash then said something about taking a shower. She didn't wait for him to answer but he didn't mind.

His eyes drifted to her hips and watched as she swayed out of the room. He may be a gentleman but he was after all, a man.

After she closed the door, he bent down to pet Coffee while he waited for her return. "Were you able to cheer her up last night?" he asked Coffee. Coffee whined and Jinhai took that as confirmation. "Good boy," he said with a smile.

Coffee was a fully trained police canine. Jinhai had paid a visit to the Police Commissioner to get him. The commissioner had given him a dog as a special favor. Jinhai wanted a dog that would be able to protect her if it ever came to it. If she still wouldn't let him take care of her then she would at least have Coffee.

He got up to set the table. When she came back, he paused to check her out. He noted that she looked less tired than she had a couple of days ago. 'Good,' he noted.

She reached for a pastry and sunk her teeth into it. She looked sexy and the white powdered sugar on her lips, stirred his imagination.

When she opened her eyes, he dragged his eyes back to hers. She began to blush and it was endearing.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked. Jinhai didn't answer but he felt himself lean over and reached up to brush the sugar off her lips.

His finger lingered there and he wanted to bring it back to his mouth to suck the powdered sugar from it. Well scratch that, he wanted to replace his finger with his lips. Then all hell almost broke loose in his mind, when her lips parted beneath his finger and her eyes went to his mouth.

'Careful Princess, you can only tempt me so far before my control snaps,' he thought. He slowly pulled his hand back then turned from her. He was grateful that the kitchen island between them gave him cover beneath the waistline. But he turned and grabbed the coffees in an attempt to calm himself.

He sat quietly and began to eat. He glanced at her and her eyes were cast downward as if deep in thought. He kind of didn't want to interrupt her, as he got to look at her without her noticing. But when her brows began to furrow he couldn't help but ask.

"I was just thinking that it's been a long time since I've enjoyed breakfast like this. Shawn and I were always so busy that we rarely ate together," she answered him. For Evelyn's sake he gave a polite reply. In his mind he thought all sorts of things that if he followed through on, would have him convicted of murder.

He hadn't thought that her marriage to Shawn had been so bad. She had always seemed happy. The thought made his blood boil. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy. Now that he learned how bad her marriage was he cursed himself more for letting her go.

After they finished breakfast he drove her to work. He told her that he would be there to pick her up, and she smiled at him before she closed the door and disappeared inside the building.

Jinhai took off toward Li Corp so that he could prepare for the night he had planned ahead.

Of course, when he got there his father was sitting on his couch like the office was still his. Jinhai strolled to his chair but didn't acknowledge the other man in the room.

After he settled in did he turn his attention on his father. They discussed CGC and Li Corp's current involvement with them.

As much as Jinhai would love to cut ties with them and let them sink- forever lost to history- he couldn't do that just yet.

Before Evelyn had started at CGC, they had been in financial distress. They would not have been able to continue for much longer before declaring bankruptcy.

In a desperate attempt to save the company, the Cheng's brokered some illegal deals to keep their company afloat. But then Evelyn came and brokered many successful projects. Projects that not only got them out of the woods but allowed their wealth to rival the Wei's.

Jinhai still wasn't sure how much of the success led to the laundering of money, or how much of it was actual hard earned money. He had to be sure that Evelyn wasn't involved. If she was, he would do everything in his power to protect her. Even if that meant giving up his war path against the Cheng's.

His father left with encouraging words. His parents always did adore Evelyn. She was beautiful and incredibly smart. She had impeccable etiquette and was the epitome of the well-mannered heiress.

He buzzed in Assistant Xin, and he came rushing in with everything that Jinhai had asked for. After double checking that everything he needed was there, he went about the rest of his day.

Jinhai rushed through his meetings and was constantly looking at the wall on the clock or the watch on his wrist.

For lunch, he ordered in and ate with Zain.

"So, what's in the basket?" Zain asked nodding toward the basket in the corner.

"Stuff," Jinhai answered taking another bite of his food. Zain rolled his eyes. His brother was only evasive when it came to one person, Evelyn Wei.

"So it's for Evelyn," Zain said nonchalantly. Jinhai continued eating unfazed. "Yes," he answered simply.

"It's only been a week since, Shawn announced he wanted a divorce and already you've shared a bed with her," Zain said. Jinhai set his chopsticks down and glared at his brother.

Jinhai hadn't told him but Zain was observant enough to know.

"Don't even go there, you know I would never," Jinhai began to defend himself.

"Oh relax, I didn't say you slept with her. At least not in the fun sense," Zain said. Although he did look a little amused. There was a time, a long time ago where Zain had considered Evelyn for himself. After all she was his best friend, and she was incredibly beautiful, smart, talented, and funny. But he backed down, when he saw how much they both liked each other. He had also met a certain fiery-spirited woman that honestly took his breath away.

"What about you and Phoenix. When are you finally going to apologize?" Jinhai threw the one thing he knew for sure would through Zain off his trail.

"That's not up for discussion," Zain said, the mirth gone from his voice.

"But talking about Evelyn is fair game?" Jinhai tossed back.

"Evelyn is my oldest and dearest friend. You are my brother. I'm rooting for you guys," Zain said, avoiding his brother's stare.

"You don't think I'm rooting for you and Phoenix?" Jinhai asked. Zain spared an unwilling glance at Jinhai.

"She's not going to forgive me," he said quietly. "How will you know if you never apologize?" Jinhai asked him.

"That's a good question," Zain said before he clamped his mouth shut and finished the rest of his lunch before leaving Jinhai's office to conduct the rest of his afternoon meetings.

After he finished his lunch he got a text from Evelyn.

Evelyn: Do you want to play chef with me tonight?

Jinhai smiled before he typed his reply. It worked perfectly as he had intended to do this all along.

His activity for the night wouldn't take place until much later, when the moon was high in the sky.

Jinhai spent the rest of the afternoon going though his budgets and reports. Fifteen minutes before 6 o'clock he shot out of his chair. He nearly gave Assistant Xin a heart attack. He grabbed the basket and raced out of the office leaving behind very confused employees.

He put the basket in the trunk and then got into the car and sped off toward WWO. When he got there he called her and she told him that she would be in her way down soon.

He drove to her home and Mingxi was in the apartment. After Mingxi left Evelyn went to her bedroom to take a quick shower. As soon as she was out of sight Jinhai bent down so he could pet Coffee.

Jinhai stood up and removed his blazer. He unbuttoned the button on his wrists and then folded them up to his elbows. Then he undid the buttons on his collar. He went into the refrigerator and took out various things to be used for tonight's dinner.

He meticulously washed the beef and salmon. He sliced up the beef into thin slices and then put it into a bowl to marinade.

It was right around then that Evelyn stepped back into the room. He saw her out of the corner of his eyes, but he made no move to greet her. Her head was tilted to the side as she observed him. If he wasn't wrong, he thought he saw her blush.

In that moment he would have given anything to know what she was thinking to make her blush like that, while she looked at him.

She walked to the kitchen and she took the broccoli from him. It was probably for the best because he probably would have cut himself while he was more focused on her.

When he finished his portion of dinner he leaned back to observe her. She had on form fitting clothing and her hair twisted up. His fingers twitched to reach up and release it from the clip and tangle his fingers in them.

"What?" she asked him. He rattled off the first thing he could think of.

"What do you mean?" she replied. 'Shit, what did I say?' he thought. Luckily some part of his brain was still functioning as he answered her.

"What are you talking about, there was that time when we got snowed in by that blizzard in America," she said. 'Ah, right. Cooking together,' he thought. He remembered that night rather well.

She had on this loose shirt that kept sliding off her shoulders. It had taken a lot of restraint, to not slide it the rest of the way off her body that night. She had been eighteen at the time and he no longer had to restrain himself for the purpose of the age restriction but he didn't want to pressure her.

Regardless, he thought that she had looked absolutely beautiful and he had really enjoyed himself that night. He always enjoyed spending time with her.

She offered him wine and he couldn't help himself. "Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?" he asked. He enjoyed the rush of color on her cheeks.

"I doubt that it would require that much effort to convince you to have my way with you," she replied smoothly. "Are you offering? Cause I assure you, you wouldn't be wrong," Jinhai said. He lowered his glass of wine.

"No," she answered. "I didn't think so," he muttered, almost disappointed. She wasn't wrong. His control was barely holding on as it was. If she had offered he might have just jumped and devoured her.

She changed the subject and asked him what he remembered from that night. His answered her.

They enjoyed dinner together before he went to grab his suitcase and changed his close. He led her to the car and the entire time he felt nervous. He was counting on this to help her forgive him. He didn't think it would be this easy, but he had to try.

She looked happy as she enjoyed the breeze on her face. He didn't want to keep this from her but he needed all the edge he could have. He parked the car and he opened the door for her.

He noticed her shiver and he offered her a blanket. In his hand was the basket with his plan's to earn her forgiveness.

"What's in the basket?" she asked. 'Well it's do or die time,' he thought. He set the basket down. He couldn't stall anymore but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

He took her hands in his and held them. He brushed his thumb over hers but she didn't think that she felt it.

He gave the little speech that he had rehearsed in his head all day. Her eyes began to water and he almost didn't continue. But he pushed on.

When her tears fell he lifted a hand to wipe them off her cheek. He kept one hand on the lotus flower.

He watched her wrap her small hands around it and lifted it from him. She went to the bank and knelt on her knees.

After grabbing the other lotus he knelt with her. He handed her a lighter and she took it from him. He watched as she lit the candle and held it in the water. Her eyes shone with tears.

He wanted to hold her but he knew she needed this moment. He knew, she was saying goodbye. She lit the other two and he still said nothing.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and he felt her flinch. It was so subtle but he was so in tune with her that he noticed.

"You know it's not your fault," he said in a soft voice. That seemed to break her. Her tears fell and she was breathing hard. She told him what she thought and he knew that she was wrong. It wasn't her fault. She should not have had to shoulder this burden.

Even after he tried to reason with her, she didn't seem to believe him. So he turned her, to watch the candles. Slowly, a bit of wonder appeared on her face and he felt himself relax just a little.

She put her arms around him and he held her against him. Whatever she needed from him, he would give it to her. When she regained her composure he gave her the last surprise he had.

The floating lantern. He had done this with her once before. The night her mother died. When she had stopped crying, he suggested it. He recalled that she had jumped at the opportunity to have some kind of communication with her mother. She had gone through six lanterns that night.

She had so much to say, but after they were in the sky she had become calm. It was almost scary how the sobbing mess of a kid quickly collected herself.

Evelyn took it from him and went to the car to write her message. After he breathed in a sigh of relief he grabbed another lantern and wrote his message.

Eleven years ago he had written: I promise I'll look after her. She won't be alone.

He wasn't a man of many words, but he used the words he said to mean what he said.

When she finished she glanced at his lantern. He didn't bother to hide what he wrote. The days of him hiding his feelings for her were over. But he did not allow her to ask him about it. He grabbed her hand and led her away so that she could light the bottoms. After they released the lanterns they stood together watching them float away.

When he turned to look at her and she turned to him. She smiled this soft little smile, this smile that he had fallen in love with. This was the smile she had when she was relaxed. When she wasn't on guard.

Slowly she placed her hands on his face and his eyes widened. He held himself back. He had vowed whatever she needed tonight. There would be other nights and other kisses. Those nights he would not hold back, but this night he would.

It was the first time she kissed him and he wanted to remember it. So he held still and let her bring their lips together. He took his cues from her.

Whatever else happened, he would remember this night. How she kissed him, and how she looked at him. Because he knew her- often better than she knew herself- he knew, that she was in love with him too.