16 At the Church of Jetkins(4)

1st April

There are resonating furious, crying, shouting, and frightened tone of voice wherever you face. Still, I see nothing—just an expansive lawn in the sunrise. No trees stand on their foot just green pasture. Ironically, the air is sultry that it seemed to have a strange odor.

I looked around, but the lawn was endless. The enate sky shade of blue made the surroundings pleasant in the eyes. The beautiful horizon tells me to stay, yet the foul smell pushes me to run.

I didn't move from my standpoint. I'm not going anywhere either. As minutes passed, the sun is now above me, and the smell became even more pungent. The surrounding is still noisy. Those voices didn't stop even a second. Why is it like this? The unbearable breeze overshadows the beauty of the place. The unbearable breeze surpasses the beauty of the area.

"D-de…ad!"

"Blo…o-o..od!"

"Sa…c-c..ri…fice…ss!"

Shrill voices are now dominant. Different gender speaks, but I understand some terms. Terms that I can't connect for what and why.

Until the sky darkened, the fury of the wind becomes heavier. And in constant, it rains heavily, lightning and thunder followed successively.

I just stared at the sky in tears. I didn't care if it is raining; I have nothing like a cover. It's telling me to decipher its hidden message.

Suddenly, as the rain continued, a woman appeared kneeling in front of me, a meter away. She's soaking wet but not in rainwater. It's because of crimson color blood.

***

I soaked myself from the shower water; still; still, I can't erase the feeling of anxiety and shivers. The aftermath gave me the effects of lasting impacts that let me stumble on my feet for hours. Suppose Reverend Scott didn't help me up. I'm still burying on that floor every day.

The reverend's first session in dealing with my condition gave us a hard time. Every day is like the first, but it seemed uncontrollable. Reverend Scott didn't explain to me the level of the demon who's indulging my soul, but he just stated that it's powerful. Neither exaggerated nor lowly description.

It has been days when these sessions commence. Different prayers and devotions happen every day. As much as I want to give up, nightmares always show and say their terrifying hellos.

After telling us that we'll be staying here for a week, I started to weigh things in my life for the first time. Like, what to be left at my apartment and to bring with me. I did quarrel with my conscience in typing and signing a resignation letter. But I have to for my self-comfort.

Abella called me right after we changed the path that I should wait for her at the train station, which I did. She's still anxious with her surrounding as people laid a glance at her. I can't stop her from being weird at all. And upon arriving, our life story changes.

Abella and I have different sessions to fulfill as what reverend discussed before all of these happened. We have other nightmares about casting and thrown away, contrary to the reverend's conclusion and healing.

The feeling of excruciating, hot invisible flames burning my entire body each day resulted in my mind seeing images of recent nightmares. Murders, suicides, darkness are some of which ended for me to have this anxiety and shivers. Other feelings may arise, but these two top the most.

I know that I sometimes didn't let people see me as vulnerable, weak, and pitiful. They always percept and conclude base on my cold stares that I will not be shaken by anything. And despite being independent, I can secure my mental, emotional and physical states. But all of those are the opposite. I concluded that I'm vulnerable inside, and being firm outside is just my hue. My façade tells the others that I'm unbeatable.

So, to obliterate my unstable emotional and physical grid, Asst. McLinn suggested taking me a hot bath to somehow relieve myself every after sessions. But it never happened so far. Every time the feelings I'm experiencing gone, they took almost inconsistently. There's a time when it only took a couple of minutes, others may stop after 2 hours, and some can't determine the exact time. So, every time I finished my bath, I directly went to bed. I did not mind when these feelings are gone.