Where Did Time Go?

I write in my journal¨Running, running away from my friends, well- the people that I call friends but they aren´t my friends they are just there for my amusement and biggest of all running away from everything that I can run away from whether thatś physically or mentally¨ 9/12/21. My brother comes into the room, I immediately close my journal so that my brother can see what I wrote.¨ Hey Lamar can I play with pleaseeee you said that I could play with you yesterday and you never came to come to get me. He scrunches his eyebrows and crosses his arms because he is mad at me because I said that we could play and I didn´t play with him. ¨Iḿ sorry man I can´t play with you today- I said before I was interrupted by my younger brother Jay¨NOO YOU SAID YESTERDAY THAT WOULD PLAY WITH MEEE!! As he throws a fit on the floor kicking and punching the air in my doorway. My mother comes up to the room and I try to calm Jay down but he screamed louder and louder saying ¨YOU SAID YOU WOULD PLAY WITH MEEE!!¨ my mother comes up the stairs angry because she was in the middle of her favorite TV show ¨Criminal Minds¨. She says ¨ why is he crying on the floor? I answer her question and I say ¨ He wanted to come in my room and play with me and- Jay cuts me off again and I roll my eyes and sigh heavily as my mother looks at Jay for an answer¨He- he- won´t let my in his room and yesterday he promised tha-¨ I throw my hands up and say WHAT?? No, I- my mother shouts because my bother is crying extremely loud ¨STOP and let your bother finish talking like he let you talk¨ I throw my hand up again to attempt to talk but she cuts me off before I can even talk gives me that motherly look so I put my hands back down and close my mouth so that my brother can talk. Jay speaks again and says.¨ Lamar promised yesterday that he would let me in his room and he said for me to wait in my room and he would come and get me but he never came to get me.¨ my mother speaks.¨ Did you remind him to come and get you so that you can go in his room? My brother speaks ¨N-no¨ He studders because he is crying.¨my mother looks at Jay with an annoyed expression, then looks at me. I look down. My mother asks me ¨Why can´t your bother come into your room? I answer ¨Because I am doing my my homework and I need to be able to study afterward. My mother looks at Jay and says ¨ You can go in Lamarś room when he is done with his homework. My mother looks back at me and says ¨ When you get done with your homework let me know because I will let Jay know that he can home in your room.¨ I almost roll my eyes but I catch myself right before my mother looks at me because I don´t want my brother in my room at all. My mother speaks again¨ alright for right now Jay you got to go in your room and Lamar you go in your room and do your homework right now.¨I respond ¨okay I will.¨My brother shouts out of excitement that he gets to go in my room later¨ YAY!! I get to go in your room Lamar¨ I turn around and go into my room and shut the door behind me, I look at my room. Gray walls with my anime posters up I look at my favorite poster in the middle of my wall, itś an Aizawa poster, he is in mid-air jumping with his carbine scarf with his eyes flashing red, his hair is floating sort of above his head. I say to myself ¨man I love that poster so much.¨ as I smile and look up at my ceiling to see the rest of my posters like mha, aot, bleach, banana fish, Toradora, demon slayer, and a bunch of other animes that would take too much time to list. I walk to my bed and stand there for a second deciding whether I want to jump on my bad on or do I want to just sit down on my bed. I decide what I am going to do and I jump up high and I launch myself onto my bed. I get my backpack from off of the floor, unzip my bag get my folder out of my backpack; I open the folder and get my homework out. I already started to get angry because I don't like homework and I REALLY don't like math at all what´s so ever. I start to look over my homework to see the first problem and as soon as I look at the problem I am overwhelmed because of the parentheses and how many numbers are in the equation. I say to myself¨ man I think that I might need to go ask my mother for help trying to solve these because I have no idea how to do this. Then I think back to what my mother said to me three weeks ago (flashback) It was a quarter till midnight my mother was really tired and was yawning, we were in the kitchen at the table I was sitting in the seat next to her so I could see what she was writing. she was helping me with my school work because again I didn't understand my math homework and how to do it and my mother said to me when she got done yawning. She said to me you have to start to take notes in class so that if you don't understand something you can go back into your notes and boom….. My mother nods off to sleep by accident because she is really sleepy I look at her because she hasn't said anything I try to wake her up¨ mom.¨ I shake her to wake her up ¨mommm….. Hey, wake up¨ still no reply I shake her a little hard and I say ¨mom itś time for school.¨ She wakes up immediately in a panic ¨oh man I totally forgot that yall had school I'm sorry I thought I set my alarm clock as she gets up rushing upstairs then realizes that itś is really dark outside not light. She goes back down the stairs to check the time on the stove and the time reads 11:33 Pm. ¨wait it's not time for school itś only like¨…..she looks at the time again. ¨its like 11:33 at night.