1 Without

Outside the rain pours, making music as it hits the surface of the window. It's been two years since you're gone, I wouldn't say I'm used to it, I don't think I'll ever get used to it. It hurts most on days like this, when the room is filled with salience as the chills of fresh spring showers fills the air, while I'm alone with a cup of green tea, warped in a blanket that smells just like you, but without you. I remember countless times when you'd wrap me tight and snuggle me warm in your arms with our favourite fluffy Monkey blanket.... but why! Why can't you be here right now! WHY? What did I do to have this type of fate, I know I didn't deserve you, but why! Why did I have to lose you!!!

I sat there crying for what seemed like hours until I was too cold and my toes got numb. It's been a while since I've cried like this, at least since the day he died two years ago on a spring day much like this. I shook my head trying to push those painful thoughts about him aside. I looked at the clock, 11:09, that's when I realized I've been crying for three hours, how silly of me, good thing I have a day off tomorrow. As I got up and walked to the bathroom, after warming up by the fire place, I felt something strange. It must be 'It'. I ignored this thought, after all it wasn't the first time I've felt 'It', but somehow it felt strange this time...it felt like I was being hugged, usually it was a touch or a breeze, never too close or all in, but this... this felt like... no... it was a hug.