The Comfort of a Companion

Yang Xun entered the tent with a bowl in each hand. Since they had withdrawn, the three had been busy dealing with the aftermath. It had taken the night and the following day to stabilize the situation, after which Zhao Mei and Lu Qinyi in particular had remained in the general's tent, analyzing the state of things and determining the next move. Zhao Mei had her head down, busily scribbling things out on the paper below her hand, sorting her thoughts out. Once she had it figured out, she would explain and Yang Xun and Lu Qinyi would decipher her thoughts, but until then, she remained silently occupying her own world. Lu Qinyi sat across from her, similarly quiet, his expression muted as he read over the documents before him. Both had been too preoccupied to even consider getting up for dinner. Yang Xun placed the bowls down for them, tapping the table to gain their attention. "Food time."

Zhao Mei made a quiet grunt of acknowledgement but didn't raise her head or stop her scribbles. Lu Qinyi looked up at him, offering a nod of thanks as he set his documents aside. Yang Xun disappeared for a moment before coming back with his own bowl, plopping down at the table with them. Meanwhile, Lu Qinyi leaned over, plucking the brush out of Zhao Mei's hand, forcing her to look up and glare at him. "Eat first, work later."

Zhao Mei let out an annoyed huff but she accepted the bowl Yang Xun pushed toward her, brushing the many papers out of the way.

"You're not eating with the others?" Lu Qinyi asked as he raised the bowl to take a sip.

"Why? Am I not welcome here anymore?" Yang Xun countered, raising his brows.

"If the two of you are going to keep disturbing my work then neither of you are welcome." Zhao Mei muttered over the rim of her bowl.

"You can't kick me out of my own tent!"

"How is bringing you food so you actually eat a disturbance? Shouldn't you be thanking me? You two would starve yourselves to death while wrapped up in your work if it weren't for me."

Zhao Mei only hmphed but the corners of her lips raised slightly.

The three continued to work after that, Zhao Mei covering the table in her papers, Lu Qinyi leaned back, his pile of documents neatly in his lap or hand, Yang Xun seated nearby, his work spread out across the ground around him. It was well into the night by the time Yang Xun got up to stretch, taking a peak out of the tent to check the position of the moon. "It's late. We should rest for the night."

Zhao Mei nodded, placing down her latest paper.

"You two go back and rest. I'll work for a little longer." Lu Qinyi dismissed, rubbing at his eye tiredly but continuing to read regardless. But it seemed that wasn't going to be an option. Zhao Mei leaned forward, plucking the paper straight from his hand much like he had done to her earlier. She then collected the rest of his papers into her arms, planning to take them with her to prevent Lu Qinyi sneaking out of his bed once they'd left to keep working. "You might work for the entire night if no one stops you. To refuse to rest will only poorly impact your ability to work, when will you show a sense of responsibility?"

Lu Qinyi laughed despite himself. "You sound like Yanlin."

"Because Mingyu is smart. It's a shame you've learnt nothing from her."

Yang Xun pulled Lu Qinyi up by the arm, giving him a gentle shove towards the bed. "Hate to say it but Zhao Mei has a point. You should sleep, General."

"A point in the fact I learnt nothing or in my lack of responsibility?" Lu Qinyi clucked his tongue in disapproval but obediently walked over to his bed, half smothering a yawn. "You two are so annoying."

---

"General Fei, it's rather late. Will you be going to rest soon?"

"I won't be resting for a while. You should head back to your tent." Fei Li said without looking up from his work.

Xi Ming thought for a moment before he sat down across from Fei Li. Fei Li glanced up at him, raising a brow questioningly. Xi Ming only smiled. "I'm not tired yet. I'll keep you company for a while, if you don't mind, General."

Fei Li stared at him a moment before looking down again, continuing his work. "I don't mind."

Fei Li wasn't sure at what point in the night he had fallen asleep. But just like previous nights, his memories from his younger years crept back up out of his subconscious to disturb his rest.

There were only two times in his life he had gone against his mother. The first was when he was still a child. He had started his training young, spending long hours throughout the day practicing, his father guiding him in the afternoons. He spent much time learning, while other kids his age spent their time playing. After one particularly long day that had been filled with particularly boring lessons, Fei Li was discontent. There was a frown on his small face and although he didn't complain, listening to his father's instructions still, he only followed them half heartedly, regularly looking over to the direction of the sound of other kid's giggles beyond the wall. Fei Jin ruffled his hair, collecting the tiny wooden sword from him. "That's enough for the day. Take a break and go play." Fei Li lit up with excitement, nodding his head happily.

But he hadn't even gotten to turn around before his mother interjected. "His lesson wasn't finished."

Fei Li lowered his head in disappointment, picking at the sleeve of his robe. His father had rested his hand on his son's head to comfort him. "He can finish it another day. He's been good, there is no harm in giving him a break."

But Fei Suyin had been firm, stepping forward to gather her child close to her, hand held out for the training sword in Fei Jin's hand. "He should finish his lesson first, then he can go play. He's already distracted and not learning well. It's important he finishes his work first."

"He's still a child. To spend so long learning, he must be tired. There's no rush."

"He's been learning the slowest when it comes to his sword work. It won't be many years until he becomes a soldier, he must be ready by then. He needs more practice."

Fei Li's brows knitted, hands balling in the fabric of his clothes. "I don't want to be a soldier…" Fei Li had mumbled sulkily.

"...Fei Xin, what are you saying?" His mother had asked carefully, her tone a bit strained, her lips pulled too tightly in her forced smile. Fei Jin had sighed, knowing already that this wasn't going to end well, but he otherwise said nothing.

Fei Li had lifted his head to look up at her, the twinkling of tears in his eyes, a pout at his lips. "I don't want to be a soldier! I want to play."

After a moment of silence, tears trailed down Fei Suyin's cheeks, her expression one of heart break as she stared at her child. "How… how could you say that…" She crumpled to the ground, her face buried in her hands as she choked back a sob.

Fei Li's expression dropped immediately, panic taking over as he hastily threw his arms around his mother's shaking form. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I want to be a soldier, really!"

Fei Jin silently crouched down, one hand gently rubbing his wife's back, the other lightly stroking his distressed son's head. Fei Suyin gathered Fei Li in her arms, holding him tightly enough that it hurt while she continued to sob. "I'm sorry, really. I'll be a soldier, a really good one. I'll listen to you and I won't complain and I'll work hard in my lessons. Please don't cry anymore Mummy." Fei Li whispered to her weakly, fighting to hold back his own sobs but tears still flowed down his face. He'd never seen his mother like this. She always smiled so happily to him, her arms so gentle when wrapped around him. It hurt to see her like this. He didn't want her to be like this.

Following that day, true to his words, Fei Li worked hard and didn't express his discontent anymore. When Fei Li heard the giggling and squeals of the other children beyond the wall, his gaze only lingered for a moment before he would return to focusing on his work. Fei Jin could only watch on with concern, with his wife's insistence and Fei Li's refusal, he could no longer press for Fei Li to spend more time away from his training so he continued to diligently teach his son.

The second time was after Meng Yichen betrayed him. He had been 16 at the time, recently promoted to squad leader. He had locked himself away in his room for a few days. When he finally emerged again, he had quietly stated he no longer wished to become a general and he wanted to withdraw from the army. His mother didn't take the news well but no matter how she cried, Fei Li would only shake his head, not uttering a word but also not taking back his previous words. Finally, she stopped begging and demanding, sitting in her room all day. If she wasn't crying, she would only sit there, staring vacantly. Fei Jin worried over how little she would eat, how weak she was becoming, but he never once pressured Fei Li on his decision. On the occasion that Fei Suyin did decide to leave her room during that time, she wouldn't look at Fei Li. As if she could no longer bear the sight of him. It hardly took two months for Fei Li to crack, returning to his duties. If he hadn't been such a promising soldier, he would have already lost his position. While the pain was still fresh, Fei Li often found himself silently wishing he had. But it seemed his fate was truly decided, he progressed swiftly, promoted to captain before long. He didn't want to be a captain. He didn't want to be a general.

When he woke up, he found he wasn't in his own tent but the commanding tent, laid over the table, his work from the previous night below his arms. Falling asleep while working wasn't that surprising, he'd been having late nights a lot lately, avoiding these dreams that bothered him every night. What was surprising was the blanket that had been laid over him. He lifted the edge of it, wondering where Xi Ming had pulled it from. He let his hand fall again, remaining as he was, head laid on his arm.

"General Fei?"

Fei Li shut his eyes at the address, silent for a moment before he sighed deeply. "Lieutenant Xi."

Upon having been acknowledged, Xi Ming entered the tent, pausing a moment as he saw Fei Li laid over the table still, gazing at him through eyelids that were only half open. He might have only just woken up, the strands of his dark hair spilling over his face. "I... brought you breakfast."

Judging from how weak the light outside the tent was, it was still early in the morning. Too early for breakfast to have been cooked, meaning Xi Ming had prepared it himself. Fei Li was normally awake and working by these times, usually remaining on an empty stomach until mealtime. He sat up, pulling the blanket from his shoulders before taking the still steaming bowl. "Thanks. There was no need to prepare this yourself."

Xi Ming looked a bit embarrassed at having been called out so directly. He hurriedly waved a hand. "You work so hard, it's the least I could do. I'll leave you to work then!" He rushed to excuse himself, quickly disappearing beyond the tent.

But his actions had been successful, Fei Li was in a slightly better mood as he slowly sipped at the broth in the bowl. Despite how the surprise attack on the South had been successful, frustratingly enough, no significant ground had been gained. The South fought hard to maintain a relatively even balance, neither side able to gain much over the other. He was really starting to hate how competent the South were. If he wanted to tip the scales, he would have to take action again. He needed the South to have their strength crippled. He tapped his fingers against the bowl in his hand. He had an idea for how to do it… One Xi Ming would never approve of. He would have to fight with the General of the South personally.