1 Chapter One

His back is too me as I approach, the familiar earthy scent hitting my nose as I get closer. The cliff overlooks an endless mass of water, the waves hit the shore only to recede and start again. A forest lies behind me, one I come from every time, but can never return to once I've left. I notice the moon is full, as always, and smile as the breeze brings me his scent once more. I stand there for a moment, taking in his tall frame, eyeing the two scars that rest between his shoulder blades. He never tells me what they're from and the glint in his eyes tells me he may never reveal the secret to me.

"You're gawking again." He chuckles as he tosses a stone into the endless depths of the ocean.

I feel the heat wash over my cheeks, my lower lip finding its place nestled between my teeth. I watch as he tilts his head back, his eyes closed, breathing in so deep I'm afraid his ribs may break. I'm never able to see the color of his hair or his eyes, but it doesn't stop my heart from racing when he finally meets mine. There's always something there, hiding in the darkness beneath his lashes, something I'm never able to put my finger on, but compels me forward none the less. The grass beneath my feet feels soft, the dirt sticking to my heels as every step brings me closer to the man I have yet to know the name of.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He turns back to the ocean as I take my place beside him.

There is no end to the body of water, no horizon for the moon to meet at the end of its stay, no other land than that from which we stood, just water and sky. It is beautiful, the way the water calls the stars to shine down on the waves that move to the rhythm of the wind, the way they crash graciously against the cliff side, beckoning to be joined. It calls to my soul, begging me to allow it to caress me as it engulfs everything I am. It asks me to jump, to fall, to let it have every piece of me, and for a moment I wonder why it is I haven't given myself before.

Movement catches my eye bringing me back to the moment. I feel his hand take mine as he finds his place on the ground, his feet dangling over the edge, teasing the waves with each swing of his feet. He pulls me down beside him with a gentle tug, my legs feeling heavy as they fall into place over the ocean. The ground is soft against my legs, as if it too could swallow me whole if I allowed it to do so. The thoughts comforting in a way, to be completely immersed, covered, like being held in a tight hug by someone you love.

"Isn't it always?"

His mouth splits into a grin as he leans back on his elbows, his stare locking onto mine. There's a hidden meaning in his look, in the way his eyes laugh at me as he cocks his head to the side. He's beautiful. His hair Is long, creating a curtain just above his eye brows, lingering just slightly over the top of his ears. The dimples in his cheeks give him the boyish charm every man wishes they had and every woman can't deny they want. His chest is broad and bare, allowing my gaze to take in every ounce of hard work he's put into perfecting his form. I shake my head, returning my eyes to the view of the waves crashing into one another.

"How is it I never get your name in these dreams?"

It's silent for a moment, nothing but the waves hitting the cliff's side and the wind rushing through the trees. I open my mouth to repeat the question fearing it may have been taken by the wind when I hear his sigh. It's heavy. Slowly he gets to his feet, all signs of playfulness gone.

"Soon," He whispered. " You'll learn everything soon."

Confusion floods my mind and I reach for his hand to ask the question that's always on the tip of my tongue. My hand grasps air as the night sky begins to darken, the stars begin to dim and the moon starts to fade, until there's nothing left to see.

The room is fuzzy as my eyes adjust to the six am light streaming through the curtains. Birds sing the morning melody outside the window, offering empty promises of all the day has to bring. I wish I could have the same enthusiasm and excitement they loudly display. The last year hasn't allowed for much of those emotions. Senior year wasn't suppose to go like this. I should be on my way to the state championships for softball, but things don't always work out like we want them to. I graduate in less than three months and will have nothing to show for it, the motivation to make something of myself dissipated along with my mothers health.

The picture on the night stand catches my eye. Wide brown eyes stare back at me, calling me back to a time that seems foreign. Her smile is warm and wide, frozen in the middle of a laugh, her cheeks red from the strain. The floral pattern of her sun dress catches the light in just the right places, the yellow making her glow amiss the rose bushes of the garden. Her caramel hair blows in the wind and for a moment I can smell its strawberry scent. I can feel the warmth of the embrace her out stretched arms promise and I can almost hear the laughter muffled behind the glass of the frame. Instinctively I reach for the flowered pendant around my neck.

My eyelids are heavy. The thought of rolling over and going back to sleep is music to my ears, but I know missing more than two weeks of school is grounds for failing the year. I'd rather not risk the chance of redoing senior year all over again.

One leg in front of the other. Just get through the day, the year, and I'll never have to see this place again. I make my way to the desk in the corner of the room, brushing the schoolbooks from the night before aside. I reach for the journal resting in the first drawer and jot down the dream before it's forgotten. The pages of the journal coming to end, every dream from the past seven months filling the spaces; each one different but similar. It's the same place, same man, but the conversations are always different.

I keep telling myself its from the stress of the life I've been living for the last nine months, but I can't shake the feeling that there's more behind the dream than what I've seen. Than again, the mind has a way of sorting things out on its own. Perhaps the dreams are a way to escape the here and now. A way to free me from the hell hole the universe so graciously shoved me into. To be honest, it's become a safe haven from the mess that is my reality. Every turn has something to remind me that my mother is no longer here and truth be told that she never will be again. But the dreams offer a distraction, a place where I have no memory of her and I to remind me of the gaping void in my chest.

A soft knock on the door brings my attention back to the present. Shaking my head I shove the journal back into the drawer before wiping the tears from my cheeks. My face is red and puffy as I catch a glimpse in the mirror on the closet door. Another harder knock on the door tells me they're two steps from barging in if an answer isn't received.

"I'm up." My voice is raspy and I curse myself for being so weak. It's been nine months and I still find myself breaking down at any thought or memory of her. " I'll be down in a second."

Footsteps echo down the hall, the knocker retreating without so much as a word, and for a moment I wished they'd come barging in and offered me a hug. It hasn't been the same since she left. The house is quiet, as if in her passing she took all the laughter and love with her. All she left is a cold house and even colder people to try and keep each other warm without an idea on how to do so.

Rummaging through the clean pile of clothes next to the closet door, I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a baggy shirt. I don't bother brushing my hair as I throw it into a ponytail high on my head and quickly shove the school books from the night before into my bag before rushing out the bedroom door already ready for the day to be over.