14 Reflection Of Mind

(Carter POV)

"This is my song, and no one can take it away." The words hum in my mouth as I continue my physical exercises. (My Song- Labi Siffre)

"It's been so long, but now you're here, here to stay." It's one of the few songs I actually listen to, and even though the version I remember is another rendition of the song, I always liked it.

"I may not always sing in tune, And sometimes you don't hear me. But you don't have to be near me to know that I'm singing."

I found it comforting to just sing to myself when I'm by myself, and while I won't say I'm a good singer, it definitely helps to have stronger lungs when you're singing. It reminds me of the time I tried to join a singing club back in my previous life, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. My voice quite literally sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

But even without perks that increased my skills and singing, I didn't feel embarrassed when I did sing songs. But it's basically comparing terrible to average.

Currently, I'm now five years into the jump and well, I could say it has been a bit samey. I didn't find a problem with that. Andrew returned from his trip across Europe a couple of months ago and decided he wanted to go into computer design.

Now he's working the computer science class at MIT. We kept in contact, but I didn't want to interrupt his work, and at this point, I felt that I had done enough.

Richard had managed to get another promotion, but he seemed pretty stable now as he and his wife spent their remaining years with each other. Sadly, even with her cancer gone, Andrew's mother could only live about 7 to 9 more years tops.

The stress on her body due to the treatments and the medicine she's taken have not helped, but the family was happy that they had more time. I sometimes saw Steve on the news when he was working on breakout cases. He has become very popular due to his law practice providing for much lower rates.

For his birthday about a year ago, I bought him a top-of-the-line computer for his work. I don't know if you knew it was me who got it, but I did receive a letter a couple of days after giving him the computers, so I assume he did.

Other than that, I had been doing what I did in the last jump, which was gathering resources and preparing for the worst. It was now 2017, and two years later, I may see the rise of COVID-19. And upon much self-reflection, I have realized that I am definitely a hoarder.

As I worked out, you could clearly see the crates full of toilet paper and other toiletries I purchased for myself. In addition to a lot of food and other liquids, I have in case I need to quite literally bunker down in my warehouse.

While I did trust my enhanced immune system, I would rather not risk my life over getting the Covid.

I did consider checking to see if the theory that Covid was a Chinese bioweapon was true, but then I remembered how stupid that sounded, and I immediately cut that plan off. Speaking of China, I had noticed attempts to hack my personal computer, which was quite hilarious as nothing was on it as everything that I saved was on my secured connection and computer in the warehouse.

So, all they'll find on my computer is a decent amount of various random cat photos. I did have to get rid of it, so as I saw that it had been hacked, I quite literally smashed it to pieces and tossed it in the trash.

I did manage to find a bit of a loophole with the Apex predator drawback, as while it did make my mindset a bit more arrogant in a way, I found that if I had just accepted the mindset, it wasn't as ridiculous.

It also helped if I just remained by myself as the drawback mainly worked through being a social one, as it would try to force me to act like a raging douchebag. So, as long as I remain by myself and didn't really talk to people nor tried to see them as my equal, I would be all right.

The main issue with the Apex predator drawback was how ridiculous it got as I increased my power over my telekinesis. Simply going out in public among ordinary people made me want to vomit.

I did find out that calling someone over the phone did not cause a reaction, so I mostly kept my conversations to video calls or just calls over my computer. Although I did feel a bit of smugness over the fact that I could afford to get every single iPhone like those really annoying customers, I used to have who would brag about being able to get the latest models.

Other than more material things, my control over my telekinesis had gone to the point where I didn't even need to focus on it being active, and thanks to the with great power comes great leisure perk. It only increased my control over my powers.

So now I have a constant telekinetic aura over myself at all times so that I could be hit by multiple bullets and not feel a thing. I may have also reenacted that one scene from The Matrix when Neo caught all the bullets in mid-air.

Don't ask how I got the bullets there. It may have involved some very angry pirates in Africa.

My total lifting strength, for my telekinesis, had also increased over these past couple of years from where I would struggle to lift a full shipping crate to now, where I could lift hundreds of tons if I were intensely focusing.

I also noticed that the more I trained my telekinesis, the less I bled when I pushed myself, which was nice as I did not enjoy having to buy so many tissue boxes, which definitely did give me a lot of looks from the store.

But I really didn't let that mess with me as in the scheme of things, and with my access to the jump chain, I wouldn't even be seeing any of them for a very long time.

Speaking of what's taking a long time, the development of my telekinesis perception. It was a basic idea in my mind that I could spread my telekinetic aura around me to form some kind of extra-sensory perception.

So, in case I ever have to take a drawback that takes away one of my senses, I could take away my sight and not have to worry about much. I could already feel the development of disability within my mind as I was acutely aware of my body's state of being, thanks to my original telekinetic aura.

Spreading it out, though, takes a lot out of me as I have to take in so much information at once that it quite literally gives me a splitting headache anytime I try to proceed a couple of feet past me. I was definitely considering heading to the world of limitless now, as having that NZT would definitely help with curbing the mental tax.

Not to mention the hyper-competence the jump would give me. Also, I would need that increase in intellect as well as its other benefits for the jumps I have planned in the future.

What I didn't know is that what I want from this jump chain is to be entirely self-sufficient, where I am alone to do the work, which would take thousands to do. It was a goal of mine not to have to rely on anyone, as I, in all honesty, did not trust people.

Because what fucks over most people is other people. And I would be willing to die on that hill. Eventually, when I am able to create, or at least foster, actual, trusting relationships, this opinion may change, but for now, all for one and one for me.

It's this kind of hatred for being in debt to anyone that I seem to have discovered about myself. It doesn't help that I have multiple drawbacks that are probably inhibiting my social and mental behaviors right now.

Not even mentioning the fact that I haven't taken any other origins other than drop-in until now. And getting into the mechanics of alternate forms in relation to origins is another conversation.

To sum it up, based on the information I have on my terminal in my warehouse, alternate forms are essentially shape-changed with additional memories and history in the world I'm going to. I have access to all of my perks and skills, as well as my items in my alternate forms. The only thing I don't have in between alt forms are racial abilities.

So, if I were to ever insert myself into a dragon for a jump world and switch back to my human form, I would not have access to the racial abilities of the dragon unless I bought a perk for it. I'm sure there is a part that allows me to combine my alternate forms into one, but I will need to find one.

Right now, though I'm just focusing on developing my teleportation, telekinesis, and physical abilities, I have continued to attend various self-defense and martial arts courses across the country and even some outside of the United States. But because I don't have any perks that help me learn martial arts, I am very average, but I will keep trying.

My days for the next couple of years primarily consist of practicing my teleportation and telekinesis in the morning to afternoon and then in the evening attending my martial arts courses. So far, I've managed to become decently proficient in karate, kung fu Krav, Maga, and some kickboxing.

I wasn't going to be any black widow or Captain America anytime soon, but progress is progress. Although I have to admit on some days, it feels as if I'm the only person in the world, that just may be my own delusion.

Maybe it's just a combination of my drawbacks or the fact that I'm constantly going and going and going, even if I'm on a routine. It is as if I've just started to become accustomed to the fact that life is just this fast for me.

Nearly never-ending days of just being by myself does that to a person. It is as if I've been in my own little world, but I immediately slap such a thought down as I'm no protagonist.

I have long learned that the world doesn't revolve around me, even if, in my most pathetic moments, I wish that it did.

Sitting down in my warehouse, I nodded to myself before continuing my workout, as there was no rest for the weary. Even with this freedom, I knew that it was going to come with a cost if I went to any world more dangerous than this.

That or I'm just trying to convince myself to keep going to these more modern worlds, so I don't have to deal with the inconveniences of living in the world stuck in a fantasy-esque timeline. But it would be nice to see a dragon well before it tries to eat me or burn me alive.

Is it weird that the more I think about this, the more I actually want to ride a dragon? One of the downsides of being by myself is that I'm asking myself a lot of questions that I won't really get answers to until I actually get to said worlds.

If I ever found myself getting too deep in my introspection, I would teleport to the nearest mountain and jump off just to get the blood flowing and for the reality check.

As I stared up at the ceiling and saw the timer tick down, I found myself somewhat excited to see where I go next.