6 ~6~

I looked up and felt mesmerized for a moment. It felt just as if I was in my best dream. A beautiful soul walked into the food stall. At first, I thought I was just hallucinating; just like what most people call it, even though I genuinely believe that those hallucinations does really exist in reality. No matter whether they were people, actions, monsters, things, anything... they truly exist, but only few people can see them. As if it was a gift.

I wasn't totally sure that it was truly whom I thought. Until that person passed right in front of my eyes, sat on one of the chairs. Until my colleague Noah appeared, and went to her direction to take her order.

It was "You".

And after a long wait, you appeared again. Oh Megan! How much I miss you....

You sat next to the window wall, with your wide black hat on the head. Wearing that white casual shirt with no sleeves, and a pair of military leather boots that reach your ankles. And a necklace hanging around your neck, with a long dark blue quartz as a pendant. You gazed strangely through the window glass, thinking about some unknown hidden thoughts.

When my co-worker stood next to your table. At first, you didn't react much, not even noticed his existence, until he let a few coughs out to bring your attention.

-What would you like to order Miss? He asked.

-Just a large cup of dark coffee please. You replied without really looking at him.

-I'm sorry Miss, but today the coffee machine has broken down. Would you like to replace your order by something else maybe?

-No coffee then? Hum. You got lost for a while before talking again.

-Miss! Your order please!

-Oh yeah! Sorry about that. Then Imma just take a cola.

-Sure. Noah then turned around and sighted. Why does my first costumer has to be so out zoned? ukh! he said under his nose.

I was standing in the corner trying to fix the broken machine; well obviously, because I was the one who made it in this state. I was the reason why you technically couldn't get your daily cup of coffee. Then I looked at Noah trying to tell him to come closer. However, he didn't understand my eye sign at first *thing that I was really expecting*. So I moved my hand trying to symbolize and make it easier for him to get. And still, his stupid self didn't catch it at all. So I unintentionally yelled:

"I'VE TOLD YOU TO COME HERE! HOW IN THE HELL CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT?!!"

All eyes were on me, and Noah started laughing because of my stupidity, not his. I was trying so hard to make it non-obvious, but ended up telling the whole world that I existed.

Even your eyes were on me. Nevertheless, you moved your sight so quickly. As if I was just a stranger to you. As if all our memories never existed. As if I vanished from your world and never was a special someone for you. I mean like, I don't need to be that much special to get a "Hey! what's up?!" or a "How are you doing?!". But at least I truly was a part of your life once. We even talk with our neighbors despite the fact that we don't know them. Also that hen-pecked nosy woman that lives upstairs; when I meet her, I say hello to her. Although i don't like her at all. But it is a sign of politeness.

But you just looked away from me. Not even a smile was on your face. My heart was skipping a beat, because I finally saw you again. Yet, was so angry and ragging with flames inside my body, because you didn't care about asking how I was. I stared at you, and questions were running through my mind in a light speed. They were bringing me to a whole different world, where disappointment and self-hate were colonizing me. I started revising everything I've done in this year. Have I done something which I normally shouldn't? Did I ever say something bad to her that would make her upset? But she could at least face me. I'd prefer her being mad at me instead of ignoring me.

The ignorance is indeed hurtful. Facing someone would make less harm to them, instead of staying quiet and not spitting a word. Expressing feelings and thoughts may lead to arguments or even fights, but they would never last. The words fade away with time. They just vanish from our memories, maybe some won't, but we learn how to live with them, we don't always remember them. Unlike keeping our pain into our hearts so they would eat our soul bite by bite, just like how worms would eat a dead body in its coffin.

I tried calming myself a bit. Breathe in. Breathe out. Close your eyes, and repeat. Think about something beautiful, flowers maybe, think about the stars; but they aren't good neither... The flowers die, and the stars are just burning rocks... "That isn't what i wanted! Think about nothing" I said to myself. Breath in again. Breath out again. "Calm down Jade...". I started feeling better. Yeah! I do.

I took the glass cup of cola from Noah's hands and said:

-I can take it from here, don't worry. You can continue your things.

-Are you sure? Because, normally it's my turn to serve the tables. Or am I mistaking? He stared at me with a half smile drawn on his face, looked up at Megan and focused on me for a second time. Aah! Now I understand what's happening with you! Okay! Okay! I won't say a thing. I'm going to keep it a secret. Don't worry, even if Arcus bugs me, I won't spill a word.

-It's not what you think. I started mumbling.

-Okay. As you say, your majesty!

I went toward you, and you were still disconnected from this world, still lost in your thoughts. I putted the glass on the table. You turned your head at me, smiled and said: "Thank you." Just like any other customer would say, and just like how you'd react with anybody else. I started doubting if I've mistaken you for someone else. But it was surely you, not some random stranger.

I know there's about forty people who look exactly like you. Just like if there's a copy of every person on earth. But can you imagine the extra tiny possibility where I could really meet someone who resemble you till that point?! It's like a 0.0001% possible.

I started thinking that maybe you just forgot my facial expressions, or maybe couldn't recall me that fast so I called you by your name.

-Welcome Megan! I smiled back.

You looked at me with suspicious eyes.

-I'm sorry, but do we know each other?

That question stabbed into my chest, to reach my heart and lungs.

-Don't you remember me? I said. I'm Jade!

-I really don't recall you. I'm so sorry, I guess you've just mistaken me for someone else. You said with a weird gaze turning around you.

Why does it feel as if you had amnesia? How can you disappear for a whole season, to show up out of nowhere? Why don't you remember anything?

...

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