13 ~13~

I started panicking again… The woman tried hard to calm me down but it all went in vain… Until she left me alone for a moment… I sat on the floor next to the sink… As I did before… Same scene is happening again… Where are you Storm? Normally you should appear now… Why aren’t you here?

Few seconds passed as I heard Arcus’s worried voice. And some other person.

-Miss, can you hear me? They said.

-Hey! I’m sorry but can I be with her? I know her! Said Arcus.

-I’m sorry but who are you specifically to her? As a member of the police I can’t let you go with her without knowing whether you’re two are related.

-I’m her boss, she works at my food stall in “yellow springs”. He explained.

-Is that true Miss? They questioned.

I was still lost inside my forest of thoughts. My body was all trembling. I could not feel my fingers, as if they were unalive. The cop bent over to reach me and putted their hand on my right shoulder.

-Can you get up first Miss? …. Can you see me Miss? They then added.

-Huh! I finally came out of that scary forest.

-Can you see me Miss? They repeated.

-Eh… Yes I can… I did not want to tell anyone about what is happening to me.

-Can you tell me how many people are standing in here?

I raised my head pretending to count.

-We’re four in total. I randomly said.

-Okay. Is this man standing here related to you?

-Yeah sure! He’s my boss at the place where I work. I marked.

The police staff seemed to be unsure about my answers. I am sure they started to smell something fishy in this strange bathroom. However thank god they did not say a thing. It is okay as long as we can go in peace.

-Okay Miss. Do you feel better now?

-Yeah much better. Thank you. Arcus? Can you help me a bit please?

-Oh! Yeah sure. He then ran toward me and helped me to stand up.

As soon as we headed out of this place, the cop added.

-I’ll let you two go this time. But if I ever meet you again, I can’t be sure whether you won’t be companying me to the police station for some statements.

Arcus left me for some few moments standing next to the corridor while he bought two sandwiches and two soda cans. We went out of this station as soon as we would. Entered the vehicle. And the atmosphere became weirder now. His breathing was loud enough for me to notice.

-What the hell has happened in there?! And how in the hell has the police became a part of all of this? He yelled.

-I’m sorry Arcus. I just fell off and I don’t know what happened but my body started trembling a lot. I mumbled with a nervous voice.

-Ouf! He let a long sigh out.

-I’m sorry Arcus, I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t mean it.

-It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry too for yelling at your face while you’re in this state. By the way, how could you know how many people were standing there? I mean like I know you heard my voice and the cop’s. Yet how could you know that there was a third person? Can you see now?

-I wish I could. But before the police officer came, a woman was with me. I guess she was the one who called them. So I kind of just said it randomly.

-Oh! Okay. That makes sense. Anyways, here’s your lunch. You can eat it now. We gonna take the road again so we won’t be so late. It’s already 2:38pm. And we need to get out of here before that cop comes again.

The car engine then started.

I finished my sandwich and soda. My head is spinning around since the morning. I laid back and closed my eyes. As if, it would change the view. But they were hurting so much too, I wished I could take some few minutes of sleep. So when I will wake up, I would go out of this terrible nightmare. It reminded me of my childhood dreams. When my mom used to tell me: “watch out little girl! Strangers can kidnap you some day.” “If you turn off the lights, the monsters will come devour you alive.” “Do not touch the knife, because if you do, all your blood will start flowing everywhere”. Her sayings has always created such a huge fear in me. Till I started having different nightmare based on what she said. Yet, the one that I feared the most was when I dreamed about her dying… And it happened at the end… As soon as she did, all the nightmares never choked me at nights again… I was sad of losing her and I even missed those incubuses... They became a part of me…

Suddenly, Arcus turned on the radio. And a song was playing. It was an indie pop one.

Took a morning ride, found a place up in my mind, no else can see

Maybe it’s fate that we lose control

In circles around, we go

We become who we ought to know

We just gotta let it go

We just gotta let it go

Maybe I do have to let it go… Maybe there is no need to keep on loving her… Maybe it is time to move one… I think I cannot take this pain anymore… I know it is not her fault that I became the way I am right now… But if only I could have her beside me… But if only I could hold her hand… But if only I could hear her voice comforting me again… Things has changed now… You changed now… I guess time has come for me to change too… I promise I would never forget you and how much you have been nice to me… I promise I would never forget our few moments together… I promise I would never erase your image from my head, my memory, my heart, my soul…

Sometimes I think that I do not know myself enough. My decisions are all aimlessly taken. My feelings are all carelessly colonializing me.