1 CHAPTER 1: GOING HOME

"Sigurado ka bang kaya mo na siyang harapin?", nag-aalalang tanong ni Kevin kay Samantha.

"Ba't parang ikaw pa ata ang nagdadalawang isip Kev?", baling naman ni Samantha kay Kevin.

Naputol ang pag-uusap nila ng magsalita ang flight stewardess na lumapit sa kanila.

"Do you want me to help you with your seatbelt maam?", nakangiti pa nitong saad. Mukhang pinay din ito kaya naman kahit gustong magsungit ni Samantha ay pinigilan niya.

"No, it's okay. I can handle it.", tipid niyang sabi sabay ngiti dito.

Malallim siyang napabuntung-hininga ng hindi niya masuot ang seat belt niya.

"Let me", pag vovolunteer ni Kevin. "You're shaking honey, are you sure you're fine?", nag-aalala pa rin ito.

" Come on Josh. Don't give me that crap. Huwag mo sabihin na ngayon pa tayo aatras na paalis na itong eroplano natin? Everything is already settled. Ang tagal kong hinintay ang pagkakataon na'to.", sabay kuyom niya sa kanyang mga palad na nasa armrest ng upuan niya.

Hinawakan naman ni Kevin ang kamay niya na nakakkuyom

"I honestly think that you shouldn't dwell on the past so much. As we call it, it's already in the past right now. We can't do anything about it. Besides-"

"Kev please.. are we having this kind of conversation again? You know what I have been through just to be who and where I am right now.", putol niya sasabihin nito sa kanya.

"I just think that it isn't healthy that it's the only thing that drives you in doing things. You know I didn't want you to become like this Trish. You know I care for you,right?". Malamlam ang mga matang sabi nito sa kanya.

Hinarap ito ni SamanthA. "I know and you know I care for you that much too. Please just give this to me Kev. You know I've waited for seven years for this. And please Kevin, stop calling me Trisha. She's not me, she's already dead. It has been 7 years since we buried her in the Philippines. And I am too different with her, she's too naïve, and coward. I am not any of those two and you know that. I thought you're already used in calling me Samantha?"

Napabuntung-hininga na lang ang binata. Alam niyang hindi siya mananalo kay Samantha. He knew that she's already determined in coming back to the Philippines and that she's more than ready in meeting him. Kung hindi nga lang sa Philippine Fashion Week na kailangang pakitaan ni Sam ay hinding-hindi na niya gugustuhing ibalik pa ito sa PIlipinas, isa pa his dad has been asking him to take over of their company, inatake ito nung nakaraang buwan at pinagsabihan ng doctor na magpahinga. His parents decided to take a rest in the USA at hindi niya kayang pabayaan ang kompanya na pinaghirapan ng ama. Kaya naman niyang i-manage ang sarili negosyo niya sa Amerika kahit na nasa Pilipinas siya. Pero hindi maaring hindi siya mag hands-on sa negosyo ng ama na nasa Pilipinas, it's their hotel chains kung saan kasosyo nila ang mga Del Bianco.

He looked at Samantha, she looked like a sleeping angel. The one he used to know seven years ago. But he knew that she's right in saying that that girl is already dead at hindi na nila pwedeng pag-usapan ang patay na. Ni ayaw nitong sumagi sa isipan nila ang babaeng iyon. Kinamumuhian nito si Trisha at alam na alam niya ang dahilan. Hindi din naman niya ito masisisi kung bakit ganun nalang ang pagkamuhi nito sa babaeng minsan niyang itinangi noon at sa mga taong umapi dito.

Muli niyang pinagsawa ang mga mata sa pagtitig kay Samantha dahil alam niya sa oras na dumilat ito ay isang bagong persona na ang makikita niya. Ang kabaliktaran mismo ni Trisha, a woman who is full of hatred in her heart that reflect to her eyes, Didn't they say that the eyes are the windows to our soul? And hatred has been a constant view in Sam's eyes. She's right that it was her motivation and her drive to be on top. Of course he is proud of all her achievements. At dahil na rin maganda ang record niya nang mag-graduate sa Pilipinas bilang Suma Cumlaude nang University of the Philippines bilang isang photojournalist ay hindi siya nahirapan ng mag-apply ito bilang protégée ng isang sikat na French photographer sa Amerika. Ini-encourage pa nito ang dalaga na sumali sa isang sikat na reality tv show sa Amerika matapos ang dalawang taon ng pagiging protégée nito. Noong una ay ayaw nitong subukang sumali sa casting for top models dahil na rin sa wala talaga itong confidence ng tumuntong sa NYC at isa pa ay hindi nito pinangarap maging modelo kung hindi maging isang mahusay na photographer. Ngunit pinangako nang sikat at mabait na photographer na ipapamana sa kanya ang kanyang trono sa pagreretiro nito oras na mabingwit niya ang koronang America's Top Model. They were really confused at first kung bakit ginawa iyon ng photographer kaya naman kinausap niya ito.

"Maddamoiselle, you don't think she'll be able to make it that's why you are trying to divert her attention and passion to being a top model huh?", mahinahon niyang sabi sa 3-time Pulitzer Prize winner on Photography nang imbitahan niya ito sa isang dinner.

Ngumiti ito sa kanya na lalong nagpa bata dito, She really doesn't look like she's already turning 40 that year.

"You know what Joshua? I know how you really care for Sammy". Itinaas pa nito ang kopita na parang nakikipag-cheers sa kanya.

Binalingan niya ito, with determination in his eyes.

" Please just answer my question madamme. She has been your protégée for quite sometime now. Two years to be exact and everybody has seen her determination and hardwork when it comes to work. I just don't understand why you have to pursue her in joining that kind of competition. I know it's a prestigious competition for aspiring models, but she's a photographer and that's her passion. Why do you have to give her such a condition as that?",mahaba niyang litanya sa babae.

"Well, you mentioned about her passion is photography right? Hmm.. to tell you honestly Mr. Norwood", huminto ito sumandal sa upuan at inilagay ang kopita ng wine na iniinom nito. Tumingin ito ng diretso sa mga mata niya at nakita niya ang lungkot sa mga mata nito. " I can see Sammy's talent and skills when it comes to our craft but I haven't seen the passion in her eyes. I've been in the business for more than 20 years and I really see Samantha as my protégée. Even if she would win that competition I would still give her my blessing as my replacement. I can't see of anyone to replace me except her but, you are right, I want to divert her attention. Talent and skill isn't enough, and as I've said I can't see the passion in her eyes, only hatred. For the past years that we've been together, working side-by-side, I have only seen hatred in those beautiful eyes and in our field there's no room for that kind of feeling. The only feelings we use in this profession are positive ones; love, compassion, and everything that goes with it. That's why I deliberately encourage her to explore other options. She'll always be my replacement and I believe she'll be able to surpass what I've achieved but she'll be able to do that if and only she's done and tired of all the negative feeling she has. I know she knew that too, she's a very intelligent woman that's why she also accepted my challenge. Don't worry, I know she'll be able to make it especially that she has someone like you.", mahaba nitong paliwanag sa kanya.

Bumalik siya sa kasalukuyan ng marinig ang announcement ng piloto.

" Flight 514 bound to Manila, Philippines, ready for take off"

Binuka ni Samantha ang mga mata niya, at nginitian siya.

"Masyado naman atang malalim ang iniisip mo Kev. Don't worry, I can handle everything." At tinanggal ang suot niyang wig.

" Maam do you want to listen to music while resting?", sabi ng Pinay na flight stewardess.

Tinanggap niya ang headset na iniabot nito sa kanya at nagpasalamat. Binigyan din nito si Kevin at nagsalita.

"Excuse me maam. Ahm..Pasensiya na po kayo kung naabala ko kayo. Itatanong ko lang po sana kung kayo po ba si Ms. Samantha Dubois, yong supermodel na—"

"Ako nga yon.", napangiti siya dahil kilala siya nito kahit wala siyang make-up at kung ano-ano pang burloloy at wig, She's just wearing a simple sando and jeans.

"Pwede po ba akong magpapicture at humingi ng autograph mamaya? Mas maganda po pala kayo sa personal".

"Really?"Kunwa ay nalungkot siya. "Do you know na masakit para sa isang model na tulad ko na masabihang mas maganda sa personal? I should be more beautiful in film than in person you know, cause' that means business"

:Naku..pasensiya na po kayo kung ganun. Eh kasi naman—"

"That's fine, I was just joking" at tumawa pa siya ng mahina. " Well, Let's do the picture-taking later and I'll also give you the autograph later."

"Sige po maam. Thank you. Kung makikinig po kayo ng music ay may isinalansan po akong special playlist para sa inyo ng kasama niyo. Have a good rest po sa inyong dalawa, maam, sir dahil magiging napakahaba po ng biyahe natin."

Nagpasalamat silang dalawa ni Kevin at isinuot na ang headset nila. Ipinikit ni Samantha ang kanyang mga mata at pinilit matulog.

"The closer I get to you,

The more you make me see

But giving me all of you got

You're love has captured me

Over and over again

I tried to tell myself that we

Can nevr be more than friends

And all the while inside I knew it was real

The way you make me feel"

Napamulat siya ng mata ng marinig ang awit na pini-play sa headset niya. She looked at Kevin to see if he is also looking at her dahil sa kanta. Ngunit mukhang ibang kanta ang naririnig nito dahil payapa na itong nakatulog. Alam nilang pareho ang meaning ng kanta sa kanya. Tatawagin na sana niya ang stewardess na Pinay upang papalitan ang playlist sa headset niya ngunit napansin niyang madilim na ang buong eroplano at mukhang nagpapahinga na ang lahat. Wala siyang nagawa kundi ang bumuntung-hiinga na lamang at pakinggan ang kanta at kumbinsihin ang sarili na wala iyong epekto sa kanya.

"Sweeter and sweeter love grows

And heavens there for those

Before the tricks of time

And hearts of love define

True love..

In a special way"

At tuluyan ng dumaloy ang luha sa kanyang mga mata, tulad ng pag-agos pabalik ng kanyang mga ala-ala...

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When I was writing this story, I was definitely listening to this version of love and hate collide--sang by Sarah Geronimo and Arnel Pineda. Ramdam na ramdam ko kasi ang sakit habang pinapakinggan sila eh. I hope you'll feel it too guys.

Love lots!