1 I’m in an Eroge?!(Edited)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Everything comes out of my own ass.

***

When I opened my eyes, I felt like a dozen bells were clanging in my head. And at the same time, my head was being hammered. The pain was so intense, that I groaned loudly.

"Ugh! My fucking head! Gah, it hurts!!!"

My swearing didn't stop the headache, obviously. So, I lay in the bed, clutching my throbbing head as if squeezing tightly would ease the pain. Alas, it didn't, for another half hour at least.

When it did finally calm down, I stayed sprawled on the bed, panting. I was drained of all my energy even though I had just woken up from sleep.

Interestingly, this wasn't a hangover. I would know since I had never drunk alcohol in the 22 years of my life. And last night was no exception.

Eventually regaining my wits, I opened my eyes and once the initial blur of grogginess was gone, I was greeted with something bizarre.

"An unfamiliar ceiling…"

I muttered dumbly as I stared at the new ceiling that definitely wasn't the one I was acquainted with.

"Heh. I kinda always wanted to say that in real life… no, wait—"

I knew my house like the back of my hand and the same went for the plain white ceiling on top of my room. The one I was seeing right now was not the same, no. It was a well-decorated ceiling with majestically unique artwork. Artwork. Yes. It felt like artwork and not just some fancy ceiling.

After a few seconds of silent dumbfoundedness that I spent staring at the fancy ceiling, my gaze shifted to notice other bizarre yet somehow anticipated differences.

"Well now…"

'This isn't my room either.'

Stating the obvious, I looked at the unfamiliar room I was in. If I had thought the ceiling was "fancy", the room was simply magnificent and gorgeous!

I was lying on a king-sized bed; with the most comfortable mattress and buttery soft sheets I had ever laid on. The blanket on top of me that I had partially thrown to the side seemed just as soft and fluffy. I hadn't realized until I noticed, but I was on a very comfortable bed indeed.

The other furniture and decor in the room were equally exquisite. A bedside table, a dresser with a mirror in matching ornate finishing, a large wooden cupboard, and a few other extravagant items were arranged neatly and tastefully in the rather expansive room.

Even the walls were painted with beautiful designs and the squeaky-clean white floor enhanced the beauty and brilliance of it all. Bending a bit, I could also notice a plush, woolly rug laying suggestively close to my bed.

An equally fancy chocolate-colored double door lay shut, fixed with all sorts of beautiful carvings and decorations. And finally, a large window right in front of the bed, with crystal clear glass and tasteful curtains showed me a glimpse of the early morning; the sun was about to rise.

'Are rooms supposed to be this big? Who the heck lives here?'

At last, I came out of the daze and realization finally hit me like truck-kun.

"Where on Earth am I?!"

I panicked.

I had no recollection of ever seeing something so extravagant in my life, except maybe on screen.

And the glaring fact was, I should have been in my bedroom, in my bloody home; yet, I wasn't. Suddenly, everything that looked fancy became threatening; and my calm and tired mood shifted in an instant.

I quickly glanced around the entire room in fright.

'Wait, is this kidnapping?! Have I been kidnapped?!'

I questioned my fear a split second later and… it didn't hold much value since kidnappers aren't exactly known to provide such incredible hospitality. Plus, all of my limbs were free.

'Is this some sort of prank? Am I being filmed right now?'

This guess seemed much more plausible and less threatening. Maybe I was shifted to a made-up room, in my sleep, and without my consent, and my reactions were currently being captured on camera.

'Did my family seriously allow for that? There's no way… right?'

I carefully scanned the room to catch even a slight hint of a prank or something.

But as far as I could tell, there were no hidden cameras or people. At least, none were visible to my eyes.

Finally getting enough of this, I tried to get out of bed, only to notice perhaps the most bizarre difference yet. And that was certainly saying something after seeing all of the things around me.

"Everything is huge… no. Holy shit, I am tiny!"

I stared at my arms and legs. They didn't belong to my 22-year-old self. And I assure you, I was by no means a dwarf before. I stood tall at 6 feet and 3 inches.

At the moment though, my legs didn't even reach the rug as they swung down the side of the large bed. Granted, this bed was higher than my original one, but I still would have reached the rug in my original body.

I ran to the mirror to take in my complete self, but what I saw inside the mirror quite honestly spooked me like nothing else ever had.

"Who is this kid?! Why do I look like this?!"

What stared me back was the small frame of a kid who had barely entered his teens. He had skinny appendages, and a small but cute face, fit for a child. Perhaps, the two most eye-catching traits were the beautiful crimson hair and fiery gold eyes.

(Image)

'No, no, no no no. This is wrong! Why is my hair red? It was black. Same with my eyes. They are golden. Mine were black.'

I was supposed to have messy black hair and plain black eyes, along with an average-looking face— even as a teenager. That's how I had always been, an average guy with some above-average traits.

The cute and charming face that 'I' now had was too foreign to me, though.

A new thought permeated my mind. It could be that I hadn't de-aged; rather, I was a completely different person!

"What the fuck!?"

I couldn't help but cuss again as I returned to the bed, my legs starting to feel weak from the shock.

"What the hell is going on? Where am I? Whose body is this? Seriously, what the actual fuck?!"

As if finally seeing enough of my confusion and panic— or perhaps having enough of my cuss-filled muttering and shouting— someone, or rather something, replied.

*Ding!*

[The System has been completely integrated with the user's soul!]

*Ding!*

[Greetings, Alex! Welcome to the world of Criotopia! The land of beauties and the beasts awaits you! I'll be happy to support you as your guide.]

Two pop-ups suddenly interrupted me. I had two blue, game-like windows right in front of my vision, accompanied by the pleasant voice of a woman.

I jolted due to their sudden appearance and hearing a voice so close, as if in my head.

"The fuck?!"

Another cuss later, I frantically examined the room but didn't see or find the presence of another person. The voice was inside my head, I realized. I focused curiously on the pop-up windows.

"What is this? … System? … Integrated with the user's soul? Criotopia? Wait, where have I heard that name? Criotopia… Criotopia… Land of the beauties and the beasts… Hold on a minute! Isn't that the name of the world of the Eroge game I was playing last night? Am I seriously in that Criotopia?!"

*Ding!*

[Correct. The user is currently in the newly created world of Criotopia. As for the previous questions, I believe the answers to them are, in order: System pop-ups. Yes, that's me. Yes. Yes, you are in the Eroge game you play frequently.]

The same voice replied in an even-toned voice. It felt slightly artificial as if the voice wasn't exactly human, but it could still pass as a human if one wasn't paying close attention.

As for the way it replied— it was not human at all. Instead, it screamed of an efficient machine.

I took a deep breath to calm my pounding heart and after comprehending her(?) replies, I asked the 'System.'

"Who or what are you, exactly? Where am I? What's going on? Why am I in an unknown kid's body? Explain to me in words that make more sense, please."

As soon as my questions ended, I heard another gentle chime.

*Ding!*

[I am what you call a 'System,' an artificial and ethereal program created to aid the user in his journey to an unknown and dangerous land. You are currently in the bedroom of Alexander K. Maximus, the only son of the deceased Walter K. Maximus, and his widowed wife, Elizabeth K. Maximus. You are in the bedroom of the said boy whose body you have acquired after your demise and transmigration.]

"So, you're really one of those Systems I've frequently read about in Isekai novels? Wow. And I'm in Alexander—wait, what the fuck do you mean 'demise'?! Are you saying I have died?!"

Another gentle chime came with my answer in the same even-toned voice.

*Ding!*

[Yes. You, Alex Sanders, have died and been transmigrated.]

***

A/N: Nobody got the joke in his original name here. Sed.