Sending back all my love

Even after nearly half of the semester was gone, I could not get myself to concentrate on my lessons. My mind was wandering what was going on back there in the city. Perhaps, those two are happily enjoying their lives together. I thought of releasing myself from this once and for all. It's unfair for me to be tortured by a memory of someone who only caused me bitterness and pain. I decided to love myself and move on. I wrote Mark a letter.

John Mark Arevalo,

Belated Happy Wedding !!! This might be too late a greeting but consider it coming from a distant country. Sorry for not having attended your memorable moment. Agnes handed me an invitation card last summer but your wedding was June and school just started. Naturally, I didn't want to miss anything.

Anyway, I am sending you all my good wishes and all the happiness marriage can give! You deserve to be happy with the one and only you love. You must be extremely happy and fulfilled now! I'm happy for you!

As for me, Im doing fine now. I felt like a complete fool when Agnes told me that you were already preparing for your wedding. I was so shocked at first but then I realized I didn't know you that much yet. I was completely a fool for believing in you and trusting in you. Now I know that I cannot really trust strangers when they speak about love. Perhaps Lester was right, he is the only one who can love me till he dies. I also have my cousin who constantly stands by me now. Im starting to look at him as a man. I don't know where the future will lead us from here. And yes, although I have given you my word, I'm not going to chase after you. I know when to hold on and when to let go. Don't worry! I love you to the point of releasing you no matter how it hurts. I'm fine, I'm moving on. Just a matter of time and I can smile again like nothing happened. I am sending back all the memories you gave together with this letter. I don't want to burn them. I want you to remember that once in your lifetime, you took the liberty to fool an ordinary girl like me. Hope you are happy with this thought.

Best regards to your grandparents and to your dear wife.

Faithfully,

Fem.

I brought out all the letters I received from Mark and inserted then into a large envelope then mailed it. I smirked at myself for acting somewhat childish but I was so furious that I did it anyway.

.....

I buried myself with my studies for the whole two last semesters. My classmates noticed how cold and serious I became. I jammed with them as usual but not as jolly and outgoing as before. Probably they were thinking I was aiming for some awards that they tried to advise me not to take it hard. I never shared my heartaches to anyone of them. Stanley who had always been funny and attentive became silent as well. I knew he was observing me from a distance. I came to admire his ways of respecting my privacy yet gently approaching me whenever necessary. The rest of my friends however stayed happy go lucky and it was fun being with them sometimes if I wanted to unwind.

We graduated the first week of April after all sleepless nights of doing all the requirements. After our graduation, we planned to go for an overnight camping. The whole class unanimously voted for the newly opened campsite at Mt. Sleeping Beauty. Two months ago, the developers gave a go signal for it's operation. The facilities were already completed and all the mess were cleared.

"Fem, so what's your plan now?" Stanley asked when we arrived at the campsite and seated ourselves on the benches around the fire place.

"Plan? Plan like what?" I asked not sure of what exactly he was asking.

"Has the developer contacted uncle yet?" He asked.

"Why are your questions all helicoptering in my mind?" I was growing impatient as I repeated the words of our instructor.

"I see, you really don't know maybe. What a sad story, sleeping beauty." He said as he slumped himself on a concrete bench and looked up the sky.

"Stanley, tell me, do you know something I don't know?" I probed. Having thought over the direction of his questions.

"What makes you think like that? Of course you should know, uncle knows everything." He said.

I was puzzled. 'I think I'm really missing something here' I thought.

"The problem is that I'm not your uncle!" I said as I stood up and punched his stomach.

"Ouuuuuchhhhh!!! " He curled upward like a worm being scorched by heat. "You will pay for this Fem, I'll tell uncle once we get home!" He said aloud.

"Tch! Stanley, go ahead! I'll get lost before you even reach home!" I mocked him for acting so petty.

"Where do you plan to get lost? I'll invite myself to get lost with you!" He said wiping his forehead like he had some sweat.

"Tch! You are too much! Get lost now!" I got thrilled by this cunning cousin of mine. He laughed out loud as I left his side.