My Mind Ain't Working Well

I was left speechless by Mark's letter. I didn't know what and how to respond to it. As if it was a Pandora Box that contained different lovely things of each kind. Here was I, sulking and trying hard not to miss him, but there he was, trying to reach out by all means! What have I done? What should I do? How should I feel? What should I say?

Without giving much time of thought, I pulled a plain stationary set from my drawer, sharpened my colored pencils then started sketching. It was a scenic view that I had mastered sketching when everytime I find myself confused. A scene of two mountains overlapping each other fronting the deep quiet ocean. On the upper left of the right mountain was a two storey house projected in a frontal oblique view with a front and right side balcony , a chimney protruding from the rear side and some bushes and trees at the farther back side. At the backyard was a medium large tree spreading it branches to cover part of the yard and there was a basketball ring on its trunk not too high from its roots. Fronting the house was a garden of flowers and edible plants that were properly lined and along the pathway. The sun was kissing the quietness of the ocean allowing a deep orange reflection while the sun's warm rays beamed gently towards the two hills. It was a scene I always dreamed of painting if I was given the time to paint.

After finishing my sketch, I let it stand supported by my books in front of me. I pondered what appropriate words I should add on it. I seem to be lost for words. What happened to my brain? It seems everything was sucked up by that letter!

I had better take a break first! I went down to take a shower then helped myself some dinner and then went to watch TV with auntie Ely. After her favorite show was finished, I bid goodnight then climbed upstairs to my room then started to compose a rhyme.

I wrote:

The Sun.

I love it when...

the sun is young,

when it kisses the dew,

when the flowers bloom,

and the trees would grow.

I love it when...

the sun rises up,

when shadows disappear,

when storms don't linger,

when it melts away the snow,

and drenches everyone's brow.

But I love it the most when...

the sun sets down,

when it kisses the deep blue ocean,

that reflects its beaming charm.

That accepts the sun's increasing hue,

to hide itself so that new life may grow.

You are my Sun.

(A/N: This is my own composition; Copyrights reserved)

.....

I got my lettering pen and carefully printed those group of words on the sketch pad, not really sure if it's wise to include it in my letter.

I tried to collect my thoughts and wrote an additional response on another sheet.

I wrote:

My Sun John Mark,

It's been a while indeed and I thought you are in the process of freeing me from my commitment to you. I was already trying hard not to miss you although I promised to myself not to accept anyone in my heart but you. There's only you in here, sweet. You can be rest assured of this.

About your previous letters, Im sorry I haven't got hold of any letter from you except the first one which I replied. Marie must have a good reason why she didn't send me those, but don't go and kill her. Im fine. Atleast, you found a way to get through.

About sustaining my studies? My father would be slapped on his face if he learns about it. I have to say I'm somehow proud of my parents who raised us up with dignity and sound life principle. I will be fine sweetie. I have survived those previous school years. What is two years of sacrifice in comparison to them? I will definitely ask your help if I really need it. Please don't feel sorry for me. I'm fighting hard and strong.

Warm hugs to your grandparents. I can't wait to meet them. I'm glad that they like me for you.

How's the promotion by the way? I wouldn't be surprised if one day you'll appear here and check where I am. Or have you already come before? Ha ha!

The other page is my work. I love the background, its my dreamplace and the message is just for you, my Sun.

Your Ocean,

Fem.