1 Intro

I am many things, but conventional is not one of them. My mouth has a mind of it's own, rarely consulting the brain, which is sad, because I don't think I am that dumb, you may feel differently after reading this, and you're entitled to. My dad would tell you it's because I was a blonde for the first 4 years of my life, my uncle would tell you I get it from my mother (there may be some truth to that), and some would say I was dropped on my head as a baby, I don't think that's true, my mum swears I only rolled off the bed once. I prefer to think that ever once in a while God has to spice things up, so he creates people like me! I keep telling myself I am not the only one who does this kind of stuff, and that's true, because my mother does too.

While reading this book, you may say to yourself, this muffin can't be real, maybe you will find some truth in my stories, or maybe you can relate. Whatever your view point is while reading, you are either going to ask yourself what the muffin is?, laugh your asses off, or be at a loss for words, like I usually am after one of my little hiccups.

Before continuing to read this, know that no harm has come to anyone in these stories, There may be a few scared children, but let's look on the bright side, scars build character! It also provides an income for therapists.

A little background, I am a 34 years old mother of 4. May 15, Alec 11, Xuan 6, and Thea is 18 months. I had Thea in October of 2019, right before the big pandemic. I know what the hell was I thinking, righ? But, how could I have known I would be trapped day and night with them in a lockdown? I also have a Boyfriend and a dog. Deni and Yumi. Deni has been a rock for me for almost a decade now. You may feel sorry for him and all my muffins he has to deal with, but you should know I also put up with muffin, just his muffin is normal muffin, unlike mine muffin.

Why do I keep saying muffin? Well, I cuss a lot. Deni doesn't! In fact I am the only person in the house who does. May made this new rule that every time I wanted to swear, I am not allowed to. I have to say muffin in place of the word, that's why you keep seeing muffin everywhere. I was also playing with the title The Muffins of my life, but I went with What the Muffin?


No one has been harmed in my muffins and I have never been arrested (Yet).

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