Author and space-time machine

Shiw: what is about to be burned?

Camms: your chance of getting a Girlfriend.

Everyone in the chat: oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

-----

Pirate: I am a proud vegan.

Weed: So, that means you do not intake anything related to meat and stuff.

Yah: Stupid vegans.

Weed: Nah, wait a minute. Since she is a vegan, she must not intake the "MEAT SCEPTER".

Sheep: LOL

Weed: She must use cucumber instead of meat scepter to satisfy her needs; I bet everyone can smell that "green cat" from miles away

Pirate: hahahahahaha. Fuck you

-

Noodle Guy <NG>: Shit

Hasni: that could be taken either way

NG :what?

Hasni: what?

-

Gay guy<GG>: Okay Vinny

Vinny: where the fuck is jr. I had some important business.

RHP: ok, you guys can kiss now.

GG: I can kiss you RHP, if you feel lonely ya know...

Vinny: hehehe

RHP: fuck off. No homo.

*snaps the fingers*

(my snapping of fingers is far more powerful than Thanos's, so when I snap my fingers, everything in this novel world comes to a pause and the author {me} breaks the 4th wall.

Now, you probably must be wondering about what the fuck is going on here, well these are some common extracts of the group chat on messenger which I am going to talk about in this novel. But to understand all the characters and situations, you must know the past behind all this.

So, let us hop on my space-time machine{STM} and travel to the past so that we can see the beginning of this story.

This STM is very special tho, it is made from organic components and has a little A.I. in it. Ofc it is not capable of developing its own thoughts or everyone here would be doomed)

*STM travels in the past*

Nik: gu gaga gagaga.

Crazy mushroom<CM> : Gagagugugu

Shiw: jajajajajaja

Granny: uwuwuwu gegege

...

..

(FUCK, seems like we traveled a bit too much back in time and here, everyone is an infant.

We do not need to go this much back, let us travel a bit to future)

*STM travels in the past*

Drunken Master<DM>: Hey there guys, what's up?

[after 15 minutes]

Hamster: I am good brother. What about you?

[after 20 minutes]

DM: Life's is tough Hamster, but why are you taking so much time to respond.

[after 23 minutes]

Hamster: look who is talking. You are also responding late. Besides, it is not easy to type when one is 85 year old

(what the genuine fuck. Ahahaha, seems like we traveled a bit too far in future. Nevermind, I shall start the STM again and hopefully it will lead us to the right timeline which we want)

*starts STM again*

Mark: Chung ching Chong, ching ching ching?

vCJD: Choi Chao ching Chong, Chao ching Chong ching.

Mark: ohhhhh Chong ching Chong. Ding dong.

(that gave me a headache, seems like we went into an alternate dimension where everyone speaks Chinese....

This fucking STM, work you piece of garbage

*slaps on the roof of STM*

STM: Ahhhhh. Harder daddy.

wait, WHAT? Did it just speak?

STM: *Sweats Profusely*

Hmmmmm, must be my imagination.

Anyway, if it does not work this time then I am going to throw this piece of garbage.

OK then, for the final time

*starts the STM*

I have a good feeling about it this time,

Let us set sail for this amazing journey that we are about to witness )

*STM takes us to the right timeline and right dimension since it is afraid of getting disowned*

---------------------------------

OK everyone, quiz time.

This question is pretty famous but no one has been able to answer it correctly.

I'll ask you this question to see if anyone has the right answer or not.

What's the heaviest thing in this whole universe?

5x10²³¹³³³ kilos of steel

Or

5x10²³¹³³³ kilos of feathers?

Get your answers ready..

Are your answers ready now?

And the answer is "YOUR MOM"

THAT'S ALL FOLKS, see you in the next chapter of WHAT NEETs DO