1 Prologue & First impressions

Authors note: I do not own any of these characters.

"KAZUUMAAAA-SAAAAN!" A useless blue-haired goddess cried, while she was being chased by a ginormous toad.

Kazuma, Megumin, Darkness, and Aqua were on a quest to kill 5 giant toads on the wide, grassy hills.

Kazuma was annoyed. Obviously. If you could spend any amount of time with that useless goddess, Aqua, without being annoyed, you'd have to have the patience of a saint.

Plus he had enough to deal with right now, with the explosion obsessed crimson demon lying face-flat on the ground, and the blonde haired masochist crusader accusing the frogs of sexually harassing her.

Aqua yelled once more, right before the frog wrapped its abnormally long tongue around her and pulled the poor goddess head-first into its mouth.

At least it shut her up though. Kazuma ran toward the frog eating that was eating Aqua, pulling out his "legendary" sword Chunchunmaru, preparing to kill it.

{Later, after the kill quest.}

"It's not MY fault we couldn't finish the quest on time! It's all Megumins fault, her explosion woke up more toads!" Kazuma complained.

"My legendary Explosion magic makes every living being want to take a closer look!" Megumin shot back, brimming with confidence.

Darkness starting blushing as she began to speak. "I can feel all of those toads glares penetrating my soul, filled with lust, But I won't let them have their way!"

Meanwhile, Aqua was hovering by the quest board, looking for a job. She wanted money so she could buy some more alcohol.

Oh, there was a high-paying quest right there! [IN NEED OF AN ARCHPRIEST AND AN ADVENTURER. Crusaders and Archwizards are welcome as well.]

Wow, a good fit! "KAZUMAAAA!" Aqua yelled, running toward the group with the job request in her hand.

"I found a high-paying job!!" Kazuma snatched the paper away from her so he could look. "Wow, Aqua actually might have done something useful for once." Kazuma said, mock tears in his eyes.

He looked at the request again. According to the paper, a strange portal popped up near a town, and for some reason it attracted a large sum of undead.

The job was to get rid of the undead and find a way to close the strange portal.

"Sounds like a great job for me!" Aqua exclaimed. The others looked at her and deadpanned. The four of them then prepared for the job.

Some time later

The party of four were on their way to the small town where the portal was supposed to be.

After the bumpy carriage ride, it was nearly sunset. "I guess we should look for that portal now." Kazuma suggested.

Since Aqua attracts undead and the portal attracts them too, all they have to do is look at which direction they are coming from.

The closer they walked toward the portal, the more undead there were. "TURN UNDEAD! TURN UNDEAD! Natures Beauty!" Aqua was yelling left and right as they continued toward the portal.

As they continued, Darkness started to get a bad feeling.

In their entire ride there, they never once wondered or thought about what was actually in the strange portal... It doesn't matter how bad it is!

Darkness started blushing as her masochist thoughts started to kick in. Darkness wouldn't let any enemy get away with the nasty lustfull things they want to do with her!

Right when she finished her thought, the group saw the portal.

At the end of a dark alleyway in between two houses, It was a swirling green color and around it were at least ten more undead.

Aqua quickly got rid of them though. "Now what?" Aqua asked. "I already got rid of the undead."

Megumin smirked and said "Maybe my amazing Explosion magic will destroy it!"

Kazuma looked at her with slight panic "No no no no- it will destroy it along with the town!"

The four of them walked closer to the mysterious portal to inspect it. All of a sudden, the portal started pulling the group surrounding it inside.

"KAZUMAAAAA-" Aquas cries were the last thing heard of them as they got sucked into the portal.

Meanwhile...

A pink haired dragon slayer was relieved.

This pink haired boy is Natsu Dragneel, a member of the best wizard guild in the land of Fiore, Fairy Tail.

As to why he was relieved, he somehow convinced his 4 teammates to walk to their next job instead of ride.

If you know who Natsu is, you'll understand that he has unrealistically severe motion sickness.

But obviously he's okay with flying through the air, who knows how high and fast, with his buddy, Happy, who happens to be winged cat.

Happy was walking beside Natsu at the moment, complaining about the heat.

Erza, the scarlet haired warrior walking alongside him regretted listening to Natsu.

Erza always brought about 6000 pounds of luggage wherever she went, but they were also in the middle of nowhere, on the verge of getting lost.

They actually aren't on the verge of getting lost, They are lost! How did none of them notice until now?

All Erza wanted was to finish the job quickly so she could finish her strawberry cake.

She looked at her comrade standing next to her. "Gray, where are your clothes?"

Gray, the ice wizard with dark hair who had a somewhat disturbing habit of unconsciously stripping off his clothes looked down after hearing Erzas question.

"Oh crap when did that happen?!" He exclaimed, frantically searching for his them.

Gray realized he probably lost the clothes a while back so he gave up on looking for them.

"It's not like I was gonna keep them on anyway."

"I'm pretty sure we're lost." A celestial wizard complained.

This blondie named Lucy, had unrealistically large breasts.

Around her thicc waist she was wearing a belt holding several golden keys, each with a different zodiac sign on them.

These keys were her magic, she used them to summon zodiac spirits to help her in times of need.

Looking at her guild mates, she was sure of one thing. There is no guild team as weird as Team Natsu.

There is no weirder team than the one she is on right now. And there never will be. Never.

Happy was hot, tired, and hungry for fish. Then, in the distance he saw an abandoned magic 4-wheeled vehicle.

Of course he pointed it out. Erza noticed it too. "Natsu, we are going into that vehicle and you are coming with us. We will never reach our destination at this pace."

"But-" Natsu began. Erza gave him a  glare that made even the mightiest of warriors wet themselves.

Gray shakily added to Erzas point. "Yeah Flame Brain, what do you expect, some sort of portal to appear in front of us?"

Suddenly, all of them felt the air around them become more dense.

Then, right before their eyes, the air turned into a swirling green portal.

About a second after it formed, 4 unconscious people got flung out of it. And of course, they all got flung right into Natsu, causing him to fall backwards.

Though Gray was surprised and confused, he took the opportunity to laugh at Nastu.

"Shut it Pervy Popsicle!" Natsu shot back, while under the heap of people who got thrown at him.

Kazuma was first to regain consciousness.

He was on top of someone? Were his perverted fantasies coming to life?

Wait... this is a very muscular woman... Kazuma finally decided to open his eyes, only to see... AAAGH! He quickly jumped up off of Natsu, while doing so, kicking Natsu really hard in the stomach.

"Oomf!!" Natsu yelled in pain and surprise. Kazuma looked back and forth, observing his surroundings.

"Where am I?" He asked nobody in particular. Erza was first to step forward. "You were flung out of a green portal and now you are in Magnolia, Fiore."

"Magnolia? Fiore? What is that?" Kazuma thought.

Suddenly, everyone turned eyes to Aqua. Apparently she was next to regain consciousness.

She also jumped off of Natsu, kicking him in the same spot Kazuma kicked him. "ARGH-" Natsu curled over, clutching his poor stomach while everyone was too busy looking at the pitiful blue haired girl crying and clutching on to Kazumas leg.

"kAzUuMAA-sAaAAAAN" She cried, still holding Kazumas leg.

"Yes I'm Kazuma." He replied while looking at her with an unreadable expression. Deep within his eyes... was it pity?

Kazuma looked at the Fairy Tail wizards watching all of this unfold. Kazuma started mumbling to them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so extremely sorry. This all this useless arch-priests fault. Please forgive us. Please forgive us."

Lucy looked at Gray. "Any idea on what he's saying?" "Nope." Gray replied.

Darkness was next to open her eyes. After realizing she was laying next to that man, Natsu, she too, jumped up off of him, kicking the poor guy in the same spot Kazuma and Aqua kicked him.

"PLEASE MAVIS-" Natsu pleaded as he curled up into a tighter ball on the floor, holding the spot where he was kicked several times.

Right when Darkness realized she was unconscious next to a man, she started.

"That pink haired man must have kidnapped me while I was sleeping! He did horrible things to me, he knocked me out and slept with me, fulfilling all of his lustful desires! Owh- awh-"

Darkness started moaning and sweating as she continued to accuse Natsu of doing things to her while she was sleeping while Natsu was in too much pain to object.

Erza and Gray looked at Natsu with disgust in their eyes. Erza walked towards Natsu and then kicked him in the same spot he was kicked the last bunch of times. "HAVE MERCY-" Poor Natsu began to say.

Lucy wasn't even surprised when Erza and Gray believed that armor-wearing masochist. Typical.

Megumin was awake the entire time, laying there pretending to be unconscious to see if it was safe to get up.

Now she thought it was all clear, so she jumped up, while doing so, purposely kicking Natsu in the stomach in the same place he was kicked the last few times. "why me-" Natsu whispered, mock tears pouring out of his eyes like waterfalls.