38 37.Choice.

"League Of Shadows?" Lily tilted her sideways in a curious manner.

"The other side of the organization, that will be hidden from the world."

"Why hidden? What does this League have to do with your project to help the students?" Lily asked in confusion.

While she understood the implications of the project Severus was about to start, she knew it started due to his own experience from his childhood.

She was happy and admired Severus for what he is doing, and she is proud of his idea & goal.

But she didn't understand what this League Of Shadows had to do with his project, though she liked the name, she can't help but sense an ominous feeling tied to that name.

She noticed a shift in Severus's tone when he mentioned League Of Shadows, his voice became devoid of emotions, harsher, and quieter.

"Tell me what do you know about the war and attacks from Voldemort's ranks, Lily?"

Severus knew Lily would react dramatically and a bit impulsive if he directly stated the reason behind the establishment of the League Of Shadows due to her hot-headedness.

He knew Lily would fight in the war to save the innocent, but he also knew she won't take the news of killing involved in the League Of Shadows reasonably.

So, he decided to make her realize the implication of war.

"Why are you asking me about the war that hasn't started yet and Death Eaters, Sev? What does it have to do with this group of yours?"

Lily questioned, confused why Sev was asking her about War and Death Eaters.

Though the war hasn't started yet, many speculated about the large-scale clashes between Death Eaters and Ministry due to the increasing attacks on muggles by Voldemort's forces.

Each day, Lily read about these attacks/raids from Death Eaters, she feared for the safety of her family, disgusted at their acts, pity, and sadness for those who passed away in these attacks.

"Just answer me," Severus said seriously.

Lily sighed, not knowing why Sev was asking this, but she answered him anyway

"I just know what I read from Daily Prophet and what I heard from students, whose parents were killed in Death Eaters raids. Many muggle areas have been attacked."

Lily didn't know too much about what truly transpires during these attacks, only from some brief reports, she knew some truly disgusting things done by Death Eaters.

"Do you know what happens on these raids?"

Lily was puzzled by why Severus kept asking her about war and Death Eaters.

Lily looked towards Narcissa for help, for some insight on why Sev was asking her, but Narcissa just looked impassive not bothered by what Severus was asking.

Narcissa looked like she already had this conversation with Sev.

"They torture, kill, destroy property, rap-"

Lily hesitated to say the last part, she recently read about a pureblood woman who was violated by some Death Eater due to refusing to join them.

She felt disgusted and wanted to rip the person apart, who had done something so heinous.

"R@pe, and many other heinous things."

Severus completes Lily's sentence.

He too recently read about this case, he was thankful that he strayed away from that path, he knew if he had joined Death Eater in his foolishness, he would have never gotten out of the web.

"Yes, all those heinous acts. That is why I wanted you to leave the company of those Death Eaters wannabes. I am happy that you have left their company but I still don't understand why you are asking me these questions, what does it have to do with this League Of Shadows you talked about?"

Lily was exasperated due to these questions, she truly didn't want to think about those things right now.

"You see.....The reason I was seen in the company of students from other houses and why I asked you these questions is..... I started this group known as League Of Shadows to stop the war." Severus stated and waited for Lily to respond.

Severus saw many emotions cross Lily's face, awe, admiration, pride, and at last her face settled on fear.

Lily felt many things when she heard Severus's words, at first, she was awed and admired Severus's goal for creating this group to stop the war.

She felt proud that her best friend wants to stand up against atrocities committed by Voldemort's forces.

When all her initial positive thoughts cleared, she was hit by the reality of the implication of this revelation, starting a group against Voldemort meant many things, one such possibility was death.

She was ready to fight in the war if she ever had to, but she didn't want Sev to be a special target of Voldemort for standing up against him.

She wasn't ready to lose him, she just got him back.

"NO!" Lily exclaimed strongly.

"Huh?"

"NO! You shouldn't start this group, Sev."

"Why?"

"You know why?..... Death Eaters are cruel, ruthless, vicious. If Voldemort knows that you dared to stand up against him, he would target you personally. He is very powerful, he will kill you, I am not ready to lose you. Please don't start this group" Lily pleads.

Severus sighs, he understood her worries, he did.

"Tell me, Lily, If in the future, you had the chance to stop the war, will you take the chance to stop it or not?" Severus questioned.

"...." Lily hesitated, she saw Severus looking at her, she knew she can't lie to Severus.

"Damnit!.. Yes, I would. But that is different, it is in the future when I am out of Hogwarts. When I am sure that I am skilled enough, someone strong enough is backing me or I would join Aurors. Yes, Aurors, Leave it to the ministry, they can deal with it! "

"Calm down, Lily. I am not finished. Listen to me."

"But...." Lily turns to Narcissa " Why aren't you saying anything when he is clearly being a dunderhead?"

"* Sigh * I tried, Evans, believe me, I did. But listen to him, He has thought through this plan of his and more powerful you think .....calm down and listen to him."

Lily finally calms down, deciding to trust Narcissa's words since she knew how protective Narcissa was of the things she liked, if she said Severus was not in mortal trouble, she would listen to her.

"To start with, I am not going war against Voldemort anytime soon, this group will try to cut off his support..."

Severus explained how he plans on cutting off Voldemort's forces, who are the students under his command, why he selected them, how they will be working in shadows, his muggle company, what type of work people in this group would do, what she is getting into if she decides to join him, how this group will have to take lives in the future and why they need to be taken?

"Finally, I am not going confront Voldemort or put any of my subordinate's lives on the line but I can't guarantee that no lives will be lost on our side, but subordinates under me are willing to put their lives for this project and group, some of them are not willing to take a life, I am ok with it. I don't need those who are incapable of taking lives if the moment arises as my shadows. Killing isn't even the main focus, Lily."

Severus pauses and looks at the two girls, who were listening to him silently, and continues

"You know how many students don't know what they are getting into when they join Death Eaters, just like me, I wanted to join Death Eaters due to my resentment, some purebloods are forced by their surroundings into join Voldemort. Through League Of Shadows, I want to help those students who can't be saved by my other project in broad daylight. Each of my shadows has its own role in this. I have never forced any of my subordinates into joining me, they choose to follow me, I gave them the choice to leave, but they choose to stay."

Lily was silent the whole time, she was impressed by Severus's plan, she even understood the need to kill, but she never thought about it, she knew for sure that she didn't have it for her to take life now, maybe she never have it in her in the future too. His goal was noble but she still felt unsettled.

She didn't want Severus to have blood on his hand, she knew it will affect him, she was disturbed by the concept of killing but she didn't want to voice her thought since she knew Severus came to this conclusion after much consideration and he did tell her that only those who are really terrible, didn't he?

She was disturbed by the thought of killing, she wasn't used to it, she felt they didn't have the right to take someone's life but she felt she didn't have the right to judge him or his plan after reading the heinous and disturbing thing Death Eaters has done to that women.

She buried the thought deeper in her mind, she didn't want to focus on it right now.

Narcissa felt her resolution to follow Severus in his plans increased, Severus didn't explain this briefly to her last time, she liked the idea of helping pureblood students, she knew many pureblood students were blood supremacists but not all of them were too cruel, not all of them wanted to take life, most were molded the way they are due to their circumstances like her cousin Reg.

"Are you ok with this?" Lily asked Narcissa.

"Yes," Narcissa answered in heartbeat.

"*sigh* I understand what you are doing but how are you so confident in being able to take out those people who follow Voldemort, I am sure they would be quite skilled wizards/witches. I know you are one of the most talented Wizards in Hogwarts right now, but I am sure you and those 8 aren't powerful and experienced enough, they need to be trained, how are you planning on training them?" Lily questioned skeptically.

Narcissa hide her smirk as she knew what Severus was going to do next, she was sure Lily would be shocked.

Severus smirks and says

"Your skepticism wounds me, Lily. How can you think I didn't think of it already. League of Shadows isn't just a group for assassinations and recruiting people, my shadows will be trained to be the best, experts, only rivaled by a few in the world. I have already found the person to train them."

"Who?"

"Me," Severus said cheekily.

"I'm not joking, Sev. We seriously need someone with experience to train if you want to continue with this group of yours."

"Let me demonstrate my talents, Ms. Evans. I hope I am up for the task."

Severus said and snapped his fingers generating fire above his fingers.

With moved his hands upwards, along with his hands, Lily's chair starts to float, lily panics.

"SEV put me down!"

Severus chuckles and lowers her back onto the ground.

"Wow, but how?" Lily questioned, wide-eyed.

"I was speaking the truth when I said I will be training my shadows, I might not be the most powerful wizard, I am confident enough to equip my shadows with nonverbal, wandless, elemental magic, and other knowledge. I spent every day improving myself."

"I don't know what to say, Sev. I am so proud of you! you have achieved something even most of the aged wizards can't do." Lily exclaimed cheerfully.

"The surprise isn't over yet."

Severus closes his eyes and summons his shadow golem.

"I am sure you know about mutants, Lily."

Lily stares dumbly at the 14 feet tall golems standing behind Severus.

She kept turning her head from Sev to his golem.

"Are....you...a mutant, Sev?" Lily knew about mutants and superheroes.

Severus smiled and answered "Yes"

"Wow, that...That's Awesome!" Lily shouts out loud.

she stands up from her chair and examines the golem

Severus and Narcissa chuckle seeing Lily behave like a child.

"Is your power to create golems, Sev?"

"No, it is-" Severus explained some of his powers.

"Wow, you are really too overpowered. I am so jealous."

Lily said after listening about his powers, though she still didn't understand that death part, it was like some Necromancy but not exactly the same, she didn't know if this should be considered dark arts or not.

"Why did you ask us to join sooner, Severus? Why did you ask those eight before us? why now? …Occlumency wasn't the factor for your decision to come clean."

Narcissa finally asks the question that was bugging her.

Lily too was curious why Severus didn't confide it in her before.

Severus sighs and whispers, "I was afraid."

"Huh?"

"huh? Can't hear you, Severus."

"I was afraid."

Lily and Narcissa, both looked at Severus in confusion.

"What were you afraid of, Sev?"

"I was afraid of hurting you both,"

Severus said in low voice, which was barely audible.

"Why do feel that you would hurt us, Severus? Where is this coming from?" Narcissa questioned him in concern.

"You asked me why I was sad when I returned? What made me change my ways? didn't you, Lily? you want to know why I fear that I would hurt you, don't you, Cissy?"

Both Narcissa and Severus noted the bitterness in his voice.

"My mother died, Lily."

Lily went wide into shock, tears start to run down her eyes.

She got up from the chair, went to Severus and hugged him, and starts crying.

Lily was well acquainted with Mrs. snape, she liked her, she knew how much Mrs. Snape meant for Severus, it broke her heart knowing how much pain Severus must have gone through.

"...H...How?"

"My father killed her."

An uncontrolled rage gripped her heart, she knew Sev's fought a lot, but she never thought Sev's father was this cruel.

"That... fucking piece of shit....why....why did he do that?! that bastard deserves to die.* Sniff*"

She continued to cry, hold Sev tighter, bring him closer to her.

She can't even imagine how much pain Sev must have felt when he found out that his mother was killed by his father, she just wished she could take away some of his pain.

Narcissa looked at them both from afar, she noted that Severus didn't have the expressions of hurt and guilt this time, it was as if he came to terms with his loss and was finally at peace.

Severus wrapped his arms around Lily, who was hugging him and crying rain.

"He is dead, Lily. He was killed, I killed him."

Lily felt her breath stop midway in her throat, she didn't believe what she just heard.

Instead of asking why he did, she cried harder, pulling him closer, she can imagine in what situation he had done it, she cursed God for the cruel fate that her Sev had gone through.

'Why God, Why God? Why did my Sev have to go through this? why must his mother be taken away from him? Why must his hands be stained in blood, so young?'

Lily continued to weep, holding onto Severus.

"From that day, I had nightmares of the sin I committed, when I started to love you, Narcissa, I had nightmares of hurting you and Lily. My nights were plagued with the nightmare of me inflicting pain on you. Ever since that day, I feared I might turn into my father, I might have hurt you both, so I didn't include you both sooner, I was afraid of myself, what I might beco-"

Narcissa cut him off by hugging and whispered "You would never do that, Severus. You are not your father."

"Yes, Sev. You would never hurt me."

"I know it took my time to understand that. Last night was the first time I got to sleep without nightmares. so, I decided to come clean to you both. I am ok with however you judge me."

"*Sniff* I don't have the right to judge you, Sev. I don't know what you did morally correct or wrong, but I am happy that he is finally out of your life"

Lily stated looking directly into his eyes.

"I already told you that I will be your side forever," Narcissa said with passion.

They continued to stay in the same position for some more time, finding comfort in each other.

They finally separated and sat back on chairs.

"This is all that I have hidden from you both. Now, I want you both to make a decision, what is your choice? Are you going to join me in this?"

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