1 What happened if..

Here I now stood alone and abandoned by you. But what if it was me who is no longer here. If you were still alive and now I'm dead

So often I've wished to take your place ... wished that you could go on living your life. It was so precious in contrast to you mine. You had family that now miss you and mourn you. Who wishes that you were still there.

Why you ... why did it have to hit you.

Why couldn't it be someone else ...

Why did you leave me ... leave us.

Now that we need you more than anything.

Now that I've lost almost everything I love ...

I wish ...

So much bad has happened since you were gone ...

So much that confuses, scares me ... makes me give up hope.

To hope every day that it could somehow happen to her ... that I could be with you again and yet I can't leave her alone ...

She is the only one I live for ...

You ... even if I hate you now and then ... you are the only thing that keeps me here

... before that it was you

I love you wherever you are ... I hope you are better ...

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