4 The Question

I made it to the place.

It's a small building made of stone.

Well, rocks. Big ones.

You know those cavemen building stone houses and stuff? Like those.

There was no door, nor a gate. Just a hole... A dark hole. I walked inside and the place was lit up with torches. Seemed to me that this place was ancient.

Or perhaps, it was made in such a way to not get any attention.

It is pretty hard to find this place.

What would you expect in the middle of a forrest, right?

As I said, it was a short ride, but it sure as hell was a long walk. Took me some time to even decode those "coordinates".

Heh. I'm smart. Using some brain before I die. Fun.

Anyways.

Inside was a small pool. The pool wasn't deep, it only reaches a couple inches higher than the ankles of a person.

It seemed to me that I was gonna be drowned. Or maybe it's to easily wash off the blood.

Who knows....

On the pool was a tall old man. He was skinny, even skinnier than me. His short white hair along with his long white beard suited his skinny face and dead looking eyes.

"Young one, you have come," it was the raspy voice from the phone before.

"What do we do now?"

"Come closer, child."

As I was walking towards him, he told me to stop.

"Before you step on this water, let me ask you."

A short silence, so sudden yet so unsurprising.

"What is your reason?"

At first, I thought it was a rhetorrical question.

But the silence was killing me, probably much deadlier than the water.

It was a tough one to answer, after all.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's make it easier. Give me 4 people who you can say, loves you," he said.

It was certainly much easier to answer.

It was obvious.

"My dad..."

Well, my dad barely shows he loves me, but I can tell he wants to. Not that I'm bragging about it, but he does.

We would get to arguments sometimes over small stuff, like that time when I quitted dancing. I guess he really was looking forward to my future in dancing, but I was just not feeling it anymore, you know? I don't want my body feeling like overcooked spaghetti after dancing all night.

"My mom..."

Yes. My sweet, loving mother. She was the best woman of my life.

She did raise me well, I just wasn't able to live as good as when I had her support. I became a mess after leaving their place. Party today, party tomorrow.

They don't even know about my consumption of coccaine.

Would she still love me as much if she knew? I didn't wanna test her for that. She was my best supporter when it came to dancing, though.

"My sister..."

Such a precious child, she is. She was born 4 years later after me. That age gap didn't matter for our bond.

We would even play the classic tea party, sometimes. I never felt embarrassed about it, I just wanted to have fun, as well.

Her smile was a star, it wasn't as bright as the sun. The sun would be painful to look at, but her smile... I could look at it forever if I had to.

If you get to see the smile she gives me, you're a lucky guy.

Damn... All these thinking makes me feel more depressed.

I feel like a criminal just for standing on this very place. I'm not just robbing me for my own life, but I was also taking away 3 people's love.

There's no going back... I don't think so.

I shall continue.

"and...."

As if I forgot that I needed 4 people, I was as frozen as a rock.

"And?"

I stumbled. I was missing another person.

Fuck!

Is this it? I wouldn't die because one less person loves me?

This is messed up!

"If you can't give me the fourth one, then you have no reason, kid."

It fucked my mind up. Do YOU get it? Can YOU accept that?? HELL NO!

I shouldn't have come here in the first place, then.

It's a waste of time!

As I was leaving, right as I stepped outside, he shouted.

"If you can't love yourself, you have no right to let yourself go."

I stopped, almost like my brain stopped all processes just to understand what he said. He just....

He threw me off balance. How could he...

He waited for the moment that I would leave, just so he could say that.

At that point, there was no more reason for me to go back. I already decided to leave.

So I went home.

Was that trip worth it?

Hopefully.