back home.

after ..... hmm I don't even know if I can say it out loud . I just... we went back . back home . where we never should have left . Michigan the place to live in my eyes. never would have happened if we never would left If we never made friends with ... them. I wish I could say at least we are all together. if only that were true , that's all I want all of us together. then again maybe we are better off without him. my mom is crushed to her very core she a strong woman , but she was stronger with ...my dad. I didn't know till later that she picked up smoking again , she hasn't smoked in years . and in a way I was changing to , not in a good way either. a very bad way. I was not thinking straight , not at all. I was mean to my friends . disowned a friend cause he didn't share a secret with me.

I was broken inside.

I cried every night . for a year straight because of the torture.

almost six years later here I am . sixteen and proud to say I'm a better person then I was three years ago.

so to this present day I'm hear at my job writing in my diary, cause I'm bored as crap. my cute coworker stands right across from me on his phone.bored with nothing to do. I wish that orders would come so I didn't have to think about how cute he was. oh my gosh it's so slow my feet hurt, and I don't know what to say to Blake. yep Blake is his name , I get off at four ,and it's 3:01. I need the hours , cause I need the money . I need the mon... oh my gosh he is really close right Im feeling the tingles in my stomach. I meen its not that I like him it's just that I never kissed before and I'm very new at ALL of it !!!

we switch positions agian and not that I'm complaining , but we are both leaning on couners and our .... butts are sticking out I can see his grease covered rear ( HE'S A MACANIC) just by slightly looking left, OH AND HE CAN SEE MINE TO! maybe I I should stick it out just a couple more inches?

I giggle to my self at the thought of being sneaky like that . 3:13 WOW time is going by slow !!

tick tock tick tock tick tock .....man I'm bored , wow ok I should do something , but what?

maybe I should try my flirting skills not that I have any ! but there was nothing better to do. okay I can do this .....

" hahahaha " I laugh the cutest laugh that I could muster , not the cutest . but it worked " what's so funny?" Blake asked. " oh it's .. its haha it's this video. here, come and look ." Blake walked two steps right by me ,and looked over my shoulder rather close . " where am I looking ?" he asks. I felt the butterflies. but I kept my cool, " right here just watch ." we watched the twenty second video of three guys pulling on girls pony tails , and when the third guy pulled onto the third girls hair it turns out it was extensions and it ripped out of her head then she turned around smacked him in the face and knocked him out flat Cold!!! we both laughed and watched it again and again , for a sec I forgot that I was flirting. and laughed so hard I thought I was gonna pee myself , but no I didnt . something WORSE happened!

as we were laughing I couldnt help but bend over . MISTAKE!!!

PUFFF!!! ..... WE STOPPED LAUGHING.

no one spoke.

I knew what it was .

I knew what I ate .

I hate myself.

" oh.. my... God..".Blake said.... he started laughing ..belly laughing, I knew he wasn't making fun of me, he just thought it was HILARIOUS! but me ....

" I got go .." I left with out a glance back .

I guess it wasn't a big deal but was still.