Immortal Coaching!

".....blood, death, gore. This is my reality. It's kill or be killed in this cruel harsh world...."

"Father...Mother....i promise you on on my sword Blazing Moonfang graced to me by the gods, that i will ascend and stand atop the heavens!"

"This world is just too small.....Luna, do i really have to recite these dumb things?" Tom was standing on top of a rock, clearly embarrased by the monologue he had just done

"Yes, otherwise how else are you going to sound cool whilst defeating those arrogant brats and their parents who will be looking down on you?" Luna had been all fired up to coach Tom in the art of being a hero. She'd even put on a cap and replaced the bottom part of her dress with a pair of white shorts to achieve the "coaching look". Yet over the past few days that had been traveling, the coaching had been a disaster in her eyes. Try as she might to instill her immortal wisdom passed down from her predecessors to her new hero, Tom wasn't really receptive to any of her ideas leaving her a touch annoyed and salty.

"Besides, who even told you to name that sword anyways. I've told you a thousand times that it isn't legendary so it doesn't need a name. Why don't you put it down for a minute and let's continue practicing your epic Hero lines okay?" Luna tried to make him continue rehearsing lines.

"No thanks, I think I'm going to clean shine Blazing Moonfang a bit and practice some sword skills. Can't be a good knight without sword skills" Tom decided to nonchalantly take a stroll to his backpack to get his cleaning tools and left Luna fuming. He had become used to skipping most of Lunas boring training drills and no longer cared what she thought.

"You're just going to leave a cute girl standing and go off somewhere to 'polish your sword'? " Luna snickered at the statement she had just made whilst pointing at him. "Just don't make a mess whilst you're doing it". Tom just looked back at her with a confused expression. He continued on his journey though, blissfully unaware of the swipe Luna had taken at him. SCORE 1 for Luna! All those jokes and innuendos in her family history books had actually bore fruits, and now she had her own to add to the list.

[A few hours later]

Tom was back on the same spot as earlier, sitting cross legged with a bored expression on his face. Luna was happily bringing a bunch of random fruits and branches and rocks to him and started her lecture.

"Now it's time for medicine refining! Just take those bunch of plants and mix them together to create a life saving medicine"

"I told you Luna, these things are just NORMAL PLANTS AND ROCKS. A minute ago you wanted me to taste or put my blood on these things and they haven't suddenly become a different set of junk" Tom was clearly getting annoyed with this. This girl was even trying to make him do weird rituals with junk which he had flatly refused

"Come on, that was because I thought there's be at least one immortal herb or magic stone lying around here somewhere" At least, that was what she had learned from all her history classes. Most immortals just happened to pick up random junk that was actually some super duper rare item that helped them evolve super quick. She had been so used to hearing about 1 in a million chance events occurring in her books she had actually thought it was commonplace!

"Besides, right now we're doing pill refining so relax. You need to at least know one or 2 extra job skills so you can become a millionaire and fund your exponential Hero growth" Luna continued, unaware of how what she was saying was being taken by Tom.

"Luna, have you ever heard the phrase 'jack of all trades but master of none'? I think it applies here" Tom interjected

"Nonsense, whoever said that was just lazy. Where I come from, everyone worked at least 2 to 3 jobs before Ascen...retiring!

Take my Grandpa for example, he was a expert woodworker gunsmith who was also a magical botanist and made flying ships for a living.

This one time - he made this seed, that when it was planted would grow into a plane, that could also transform into a gun! That's his legendary weapon to this day...." Luna continued on, feverish worship of her family in her eyes.

(This chick is crazy, am I sure she just didn't fall down from a mental institution) Tom started thinking to himself and considered dropping her off somewhere. Then he looked down at his beautiful sword and decided to maybe just let her have her fun until they separate paths at the town.

"... As I was saying, the essence of a hero is defined by a lot of things. Legendary pets, knowing hundreds of skills and being at least both a knight and another class at the same time. I mean, that's what makes all the beauties fall in love with you?" Luna looked at Tom, seeing that he really didn't seem impressed by the whole speech she had started making. An idea struck her!

Looking at Tom directly she stared into his eyes and said "You do have a girlfriend at home or something, right?"

"N-Not really..." Tom's face began to turn red and he started to face away from Luna.

"What about a crush? Was there anything like a childhood friend or someone cute that you admired? Come on, you can tell me. I don't even come from here"

"W-Well, there was this girl. Her hair was golden like the sun, her eyes were so blue and beautiful and her smile always made me feel all warm and happy inside..." Tom was clearly enjoying the reminiscing.

"Well there you have it! Once you become a Hero and get all the cool stuff, you can go back and propose to her and she'll be yours in a heartbeat!"

"There's just one problem with that Luna..."

"What?"

"She was 2 years older than me and she got married last year"

Luna froze. this wasn't in any of her books. Normally the childhood friend would wait at least 20 or more years after a heartfelt promise, and the Hero would come back to propose a decade or two later...

"Ha ha ha... umm.... ah ha! I remember this. The husband is probably some cruel and abusive guy so when we come back you'll just have to kill him after he says his evil monologue and take back your girl..."

"...sorry to interrupt, but the guy is actually really nice. He's a family friend so we hung out a lot and he was the coolest. I'm actually really happy for them, honest"

....

....

....

[Luna.exe has crashed]

"Umm... can we go now? The nearest town is about another 2 or 3 days away so I think it would be better if we got a move on" Tom began.

"Besides, I didn't decide to do this for the fame or the women. This is to one day make my town a nicer place to live in, and also to help out Mom and Dad. I know my brothers are out there working and doing the best they can as well, but I wanted to do my part too and becoming a royal knight is the quickest way. Oh, and this is also for me. I'm already enjoying our adventure as it is, and i think it will be fine even if everyday is like this - fame and women or no. Let's continue then" Tom stood up and stretched his hand out to Luna, who was sitting face down and silent this whole time.

"Okay, Sure......" She hadn't heard his entire speech, although from all that she had heard and experienced compared to her family stories, she had finally begun to see the light. Luna stood up, and now knew one important thing.....

THIS WORLD'S LUCK SUCKED BIGTIME!