3 3

"Emily," asked Alex, "are you okay? You seemed to have zoned out for a bit."

I felt the heat of her palm on my shirt as I raised my eyes to look at her once again. There was genuine concern in her eyes as she took another step back. I shook my head, trying to drag myself away from the memories that had previously inhabited my mind.

"I'm fine," I rasped. "I really am. I was just lost in thought."

Alexis smiled.

"How have you been?" I asked, attempting to divert the attention from me.

"Good!" exclaimed Alexis. "I went to Mexico a few years back for a mission trip."

I wasn't surprised. Alexis was always a high achiever and really cared about bettering communities. Heck, she was student council president in high school for a reason. The woman oozed charisma and charm; no wonder she was able to tie the knot more than once. I, on the other hand, never found myself in a relationship. I was way too awkward and shy. I hated going out to bars and social events. I could only blame myself for my own misfortune.

"Cool," I replied. "Was it a great time?"

"Yeah for sure," beamed Alexis. "We toured a few historical places and tried some new cuisine. It really changed how I perceive things today. Matter of fact, it really helped with my diet and my weight problem."

"Oh, that sounds a great experience," I stated. "I'm glad you've been doing well."

"I've been better than ever," gushed Alexis. "Matter in fact, I'm engaged again!"

My eyes widened at that statement. Alexis engaged again? I thought she would be over with marriage at this rate. Maybe I was being cynical though. I felt that love was overrated sometimes. But, that was probably just me being bitter again.

"Congrats," I said, attempting to place enthusiasm in my voice, "I'm happy for you!"

Alexis raised an eyebrow at my statement. I was pretty sure that she could sense that I was faking it. She wrinkled her face and pursed her lips in a straight line. Placing her hands on her hips, she looked into my eyes. I could see the shine of the lighting fixture above reflect across her iris. It sparkled, a shimmering hue of emerald and azure that reminded me of the lake we used to cool off in after school.

"You don't sound happy," stated Alexis. "Is there something that you need to tell me?"

I shifted from one foot to another, unsure of what I wanted to say. There was a host of emotions boiling deep within me. I wasn't sure if I was quite ready to admit them to her. Maybe I was being too chicken about this. Maybe I was in over my head. I never told anyone about this, not even my parents. I sighed, opening my lips. I had to tell her. I wanted to tell someone.

"I — I want to tell you something Alexis," I whispered.

Alex didn't lower her left eyebrow. She crossed her arms in front of her. I couldn't help but notice the stern expression plastered on her face.

"I — I'm —"

I never had the chance to finish my response. Before I knew it, my back was against the wall. I felt sparks as her soft lips brushed against mine. My heart was palpitating, and I felt my stomach churn. I never felt something like this before. I never thought that this would ever happen to me — not in a million years. I felt a tender touch to my face as her hands cupped my cheek. She drew me in closer, and I could hear her sigh as she deepened the kiss.

I could taste the mint on her breath as her tongue tangled with mine. My heart raced, and I could feel my body reacting to hers. I didn't know that this was going to be my first kiss. Heck, I sure didn't think that it would be with her of all people. My brain was mush, and all I could do was revel in the moment. With so many sensations racing through my body, I couldn't do anything but just stand there.

"— gay," I whispered, feeling her pull away.

I was pretty sure that my face was flushed and a bright shade of red at this point. Alexis smiled as she stepped away.

"I know," she murmured. "I've always known."

My lips were still puffy from our kiss and there were still traces of mint lingering on my tongue. I felt my vision begin to blur as tears started to seep from my eyes. I had kept this a secret for so long from everyone. It felt good to let it out for once. I just wasn't sure how to quite express it. I've isolated myself from my emotions for so long that I forgot this feeling — this feeling of happiness, this feeling of being loved.

Something warm brushed against my face as I felt her fingertips delicately brush away the strands of hair that had fallen across my face. I shivered as the palm of her hand wiped away some of the tears that trailed down my cheek. It was a tender gesture — probably the most tender I've seen her be.

"When..." I managed to rasp, "when did you know?"

Alexis smiled.

"It doesn't matter," she whispered, removing her hand from my face. "I'm glad you found the courage to tell me."

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of what to say anymore. I didn't want things to get awkward between us, especially after that. However, the reassuring smile Alexis had on her face made me feel a little bit better about myself. Maybe it was okay for me to not be closeted. Maybe it was okay for me to let someone in. Maybe it was okay for me to open myself up to feeling for once.

Maybe it was okay for me to love.