And this is where life gets weird

"Hey get up"

"Five more minutes"

*slap*

"Holy shit, I'm awake now"

Wait? Why is Alexis in my house? When did my house have no roof? She flicks my forehead and tells me to get up. That flick was enough to make me remember. I got shot through the head and died, so why am I still alive. I sit up, still tired.

"Where are we?" I ask sleepily

"I don't know, ask her" as she says this she points somewhere to my side so I turn over. The woman before me sits with elegance and her hair is pure white. She is tall and has clear skin. I guess this is the where you go when you die.

"So..." I feel reluctant to ask because of her grand stature. Also I'm still sitting on the ground. I get up and off the ground and I ask in a more serious tone.

"Well, you died so to you I guess heaven would be a good word"

"Wait, Alexis, where's Colin"

"Oh, he's in the bathroom"

"Doing what?" Do people need to use the bathroom in heaven?

They both kinda look at me like I'm a idiot or something. I feel hurt.

"But no, like why would we need to go to the bathroom if we're dead." Alexis is the first to speak.

"Because we still have our bodies."

"Why?" This time the Goddess is the one to talk.

"You have your bodies so you can live again"

"Ehh, like in heaven" I ask in absolute confusion

"No, a new world awaits you 4" she says almost sounding proud of it.

"Wait 4" Alexis asks from behind me. I turn to look at her but it's not just her. On the ground behind here there's another person. His stomach is large and he looks old. This man is the one who killed us isn't he. I bet the cops killed him while he resisted. At this point Alexis noticed my gaze and she also looks back. Her face goes blank and she is filled with a boiling anger.

"I don't want this bastard in the same world as me" she shouts at the goddess.

"It's not up to you to decide" the goddess says

"Wait what happened" it seems like Colin's back. This whole thing is a mess now. I feel the dude had his reasons even if what he did was bad.

...

A decent bit of time passed of just complaining. Slowly we got somewhere but there was a lot of repetition throughout. We got some magic powers or something and now the dude who killed us is a child with no memories. I kinda had trouble staying awake during all of it. Now we are in a dark place and I have a baby in my arms.

"where are we now" I hear Colin announce from my side. It's rather dark for a starting point in this world. I think it makes sense though considering nobody would be here and because of that nobody would see us being brought into this world.

"Probably some sort of underground place" I say a little to confidently. "It kinda just gives off that feel"

"Ehh, seems like fair enough of a guess" says Alexis.

"Okay, well how do you presume we get out then" asks Colin says slowly.

Calmly I reply with "Fuck if I know... maybe just like feel around or something"

"I'm already doing that"

It's kinda weird tho that we weren't given any light. Actually we where given a light source.

"Hey Colin" I say annoyed "do you remember the magic you cultivated?"

"Yea, what about it"

"You know fire gives off light right"

"Yea but it gives off smoke also so wouldn't we get lung cancer if I used it"

"Yea I guess but it didn't seem to give off any smoke when you used it in the heaven place"

"Yea I guess"

"So use it for goodness sake"

"Okay, Okay, lil bitch"

"I'm taller than you tho"

"Shut up"

After this brief exchange of words he starts bringing out fire. His control of it is trash right now and he nearly hit me with it.

"I think that we should try using the door" Alexis says having noticed a pretty obvious opening and in reply Colin says

"It's more of a doorframe though"

"Fuck off Colin, it doesn't matter what she calls it"

Why must he always correct these stupid things like shut up for once.

"Okay, jeez"

"Can we just go through the d o o r f r a m e already you twats" when she says doorframe she looks right at Colin. I chuckle a bit and then nervously say "yea, let's do that" As we exit through the doorframe, as there is no door, we come to another room with a door. In the middle there is a pedestal type thing facing the tilted in the direction of the door. On it there is a single ring engraved with swirling patterns. The ring is made of what looks like gold and has a small perfectly round crystal in the center. As I enter the room and move away from the door Colin enters. He walks right up to the ring in the pedestal and takes it.

"What the fuck are you doing"

"I took the ring, so what. That goddess lady put us here so of course we should take it." I disagree with this so I say "Or maybe we could just not take it. We don't know if someone owns it" I say this in an attempt to be the voice of reason. "This place has to connect to somewhere and we don't know where that might be. So, how about we put the ring down and open that door over there"

"Nah, I like how it looks"

"But what if it's of sentimental value or is something people are willing to kill for?" I get that he's stupid but this is just too much.

"Who cares, just don't let them find out"

"Shut the hell up and out it back" I stare at Colin straight in the eyes.

"Nah"

*creeee*

I turn to see Alexis opening the door.

"Why are you in such a rush" Colin says comfy

"I'm not in a rush, you guys are just really annoying."

A light starts to fill the room and for a moment I'm surprised. I wasn't surprised by something grand but instead by the fact that there was nothing but a path leading to what seemed to be a wooden wall. The light seems to be coming from the wall that's made of wood. Alexis walks up to it and starts to run her fingers up and down it. It's clear that shes looking for a way to open it.

"We could always just burn it" Colin says with a small grin.

"No, and go put that damn ring back"

"Just let him get in trouble for it. If you guys don't shut up then the baby might wake up"

Now that she mentions it the baby hasn't made a single noise this entire time. I look down and the child is still asleep.

...

After a minute or two of looking for a switch or something we still can't find one

"Fuck it, let me through" Colin announces as he tries to push past me.

"Dude stop it, if you push the child like that your gonna make him wake up.

"Sorry but I'm tired of waiting"

Honestly, he's so much easier to deal with when he's not making decisions. Despite how tight the smack is he still tries to push past me. And sure enough, he bumps the baby" *waa* the baby stops for a second as if to catch his breath. Then, he bellows. *WAAAAAAAAAAA*

"Fuck you colin" I say while rocking the baby back and forth.

"Fuck you too"

*waaaa*

"You could have just left the hall and let me move out of your way in the room. You didn't have to push past me"

The sound of the baby crying really is annoying.

"Alexis, move. I'm going to burn the wood down"

"I don't care anymore, just get me away from that little devil" they didn't have much trouble because neither of them where holding a baby. As Colin started to conjure some fire the wall started to move. As it reached slid the very last bit the light became undoubtedly stronger. Outside a man with a nightgown and a sword stood ready to fight.

"How the hell did you get in there"