5 Value

Mrs. Miranda continued to tell me her life story. She was so serious about it, and she really wanted me to listen to her.

"Sadly, there was an accident at the construction site where Vince and dad were working. The walls of the second floor of the building collapse. Eleven people were severely wounded, and seven people died in an instant, Vince included! My father was rushed to the hospital. Sadly after two days, he died. A week after my father was buried, we found an envelope on Vince's drawers. We do not want was it but it was marked " For Jessica and Paul's graduation". When we open it, it contained, two hundred dollars! I cried when we found about it. Imagine how hard that would be for him, to work on a minimum wage, yet he saves something for us to use on our graduation day!

Tears suddenly came out from Mrs. Miranda's eyes. So I hand him a handkerchief. I too, had a heavy feeling on what happen to his dad and brother.

"I want to thank him! I want to make hug him! I want to turn back the clock and tell Vince, " Your the best brother!" But I guest we were too late. I guest you will only realize the value of a person, when they are gone."

Indeed, she's right, people starts to value someone, when they are gone. The other sad thing she said was she was un able to finish her studies because they had no one to support their studies any longer.

I got only months to live. Why would live a hateful life? The things happening around me make me realize to forgive more, and just live a happy life.

There are so many things happening in my mind. How can I say I have a leukemia, having Daniel in our family, and trying to rebuilt my relationship with my dad. I wanted to unwind. I wanted to escape reality. I wanted to get drunk. Or maybe not. Maybe i just need someone to talk to. Someone who can understand me, someone who will not judge me. Maybe I just need someone who is willing to listen.

Life was never easy for me. There are so many downfalls, but through it all, I fought my way out of it. I just can't give up whenever a negative situation occur, I have to be strong, I have to stand my ground and I have to trust my self and say " I can do it".

That day, I went to visit my mom's resting place. I think its only the fifth time I visited her. It was so quiet that you can hear the air whispering in you ear, and I can hear my foot steps as I come near her. The sun is shining bright, but the wind is cold. I was alone that time, hoping to leave that place with a better and lighter feeling. I did not hesitate, I just sat besides my mother's grave and started talking like I'm delivering a speech. I don't care whether or not she can hear me, but I felt like I wanted to release this tension.

I said,

"Mom, things could have been very different, if you were still here. I have no one to run to. I'm feeling scared of what will happen next. At some point I was angry that Dad keep something for me, but I too still not telling him about my disease. I was wrong, and that makes me feel like I'm compelled to be honest with him. Oh mom, I wish you were here to guide me from all of this . . ."

Still, I continued to talk. I talked about Daniel joining the family, and me being an older sister. And of course Jasper . . .

"And mom, I met a guy. Yeah finally I got some interest on relationships. I'm not sure if he likes me, but I'm starting to like him. His simplicity and sense of humor turns me on. I really want you to meet this guy. He's not the guy who can make your eyes pop out because he looks like a celebrity, but he's the guy who can make you smile and will inspire you. Not only that, I think he value education so much that he sacrificed too much just to have it."

While I continue talking, I can hear footsteps coming near me. It felt creepy, but when I turned to see what was it, it was my dad coming with a bouquet of flowers. A part of me was happy to see us both visiting my mother's resting place.

My dad sat besides me slowly. He asked me how long was I snoring there, and I said it wasn't too long.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it Chloe", he said. I just smiled and I couldn't agree more. He asked how am I doing personally and how am I doing at the office.

" I'm totally fine dad. there's nothing to worry about" I said.

He looked at me and said, " I'm really happy to know that. Well anyway, Jessica told me your seeing someone."

I was surprise on what he said, " Oh no dad no, he's just a friend of mine.

" Are you sure he's just a friend, I hope you realize your face is turning red."

I put my arms in my face, and he laughed a little bit.

"Can you at least tell me his name? " he asked again.

"His name is Jasper".

"Is he handsome?"

"DAAAD!!! "

My dad seems to be happy teasing me. Never the less I'm happy to see him smile and laugh again.

"You know Chloe, your mom and I started out to be friends too. We met at a small coffee shop where we used to go to. I often see her there working on some papers but I didn't mind. Until one afternoon when the coffee shop was full of costumers and there was no available seat for her. Luckily I was alone, as always. So there was a vacant seat in front of me and she happen to see it.

She came and ask if she could sit with me even for a while, because she needs to finish some academic paper works. I said yes, she can sit there as long as she wants. That was the beginning, from small talk to eventual dating, and after she graduated from medical school, we got married, and the rest is history."

There was an unexplainable joy in me as he told me that story. It wasn't a fairy tale like, but it was enough for me to believe in true love.

Moments later we went home together. Mrs. Miranda was watering the plants web we arrived home. You can tell, she was happy looking at us. She called out Daniel to meet us, and the kid, my brother, came in running to embrace daddy. It was awesome, we dined together and we had joyful conversations before heading to sleep. The emptiness I felt is slowly fading away.

All I ever wanted was a perfect family life, but in reality, perfection does not exist. Life is like a wheel, sometimes your up, sometimes your down. It also thought me accept the bad things happen and to enjoy happy times to maintain a balance life. You can't have bad things all the time, so as you can't have happy times all the time. Not because you want it, you can have it. You simply can't have everything.

When I went to the company, I happen to meet Jasper along the way.

"Hey, Chloe, how are you? " he asked.

"Ohh, Im really really sorry, Jasper but I have to rush in. I got a lot of paper works to do. I'm really sorry."

I felt sad about that, I really have no choice.

"Uh, are free this afternoon? " he asked again.

I was surprised but I was really happy he asked. So I said yes.

"I will text you later"

"I will be waiting! Make sure you will"

I'm kind of excited to meet him. I feel like he's asking me for a date - but I think that's too much, but enough to keep me smiling all day, despite a tiring things to do at the office.

Deep inside, I still doubt if he'll really text me, because he never text me back whenever I text him.

This guy is my first love, and I do afraid to get hurt. Problem is, I don't know if he knew that I like him. What should i do? Should I tell him? Or should I wait until he noticed that he's special to me. There are a number of things that worries me that's why I am hesitant. I also thought how would he rect if he knows I got a life threatening disease. I don't want to rush in and surprise him with something like this! No, I know I'm better than that.