9 The Deformation

The young mother was sickly and looked like she was in urgent need of a healer for her own problems. Her cheeks were pale and translucent and her arms weak. They could barely hold her baby boy, who was large in size but deformed enough that his breathing was shallow and labored.

Serenica thought that a rational person would have already drowned the child.

"He refuses when I try to nourish him."

"I can see why," Serenica said, thanking her hangover for her dull senses and stony heart. Under normal circumstances she could have shuddered from the sheer agony the monster was clearly in. Now, she was able to look at it as it was, a freak of nature, a misstep on the path of life, a mistake of the womb. She was not certain if it was an it or a he, so far away from the ordinary the features were, the cyclops eye, the split mouth.

"What did you eat during the pregnancy?"

"Only what the doctor ordered," the lady said, and then she gave a long list of supplements and harmless herbs. The pills sounded dangerous, but other items were familiar to Serenica, like fox bollockwort and tiger's eye, the latter being a more exotic and newfangled pregnancy aid. The fox bollockwort was very effective for morning sickness while having few or none of the harmful side effects that most likely came with stronger drugs. The tiger's eye was known for its invigorating roots that were nowadays used to treat anemic patients.

Seeing no fault in the herbs, Serenica asked about the nature of the medications.

The mother told everything, and with every word Serenica wanted to punch her doctor in the gut. How could anyone use a pregnant woman as a test subject, it escaped her.

"He must live. He's my only son," the woman begged.

"What's wrong with your daughters?" Serenica asked before she could contain herself.

She hadn't meant to be so cruel. Not to this person, no, her worries were caused by a different lady entirely.

The mother stared at her with eyes wetter than the wet stones on the street outside.

"They can't carry on my husband's name."

Whatever regret Serenica had about her choice of words disappeared quickly.

"Look, the truth is – I can't help him. I can only ease his pain."

This was true. What was also true was that easing the pain would kill the baby. The paw wasn't meant for babies. It had the same outcome as drowning, certain death, that was, but the paw surely brought a quicker and easier end.

Serenica pressed hard on the bridge of her nose to prevent tears. "I can give you the paw. You need to stay quiet about it, though, and you definitely need to be careful with the dosage. A pinch of the extract. No more."

A pinch wasn't enough for a stubbed toe. Serenica knew that. She was counting on the mother overdoing it and killing the baby. From a pinch upwards, the paw quickly became lethal for young children.

Serenica felt herself to be a worse monster than the creature in the lady's arms could ever grow up to be. Still, life had to go on. The worry was making the woman ill and she could not care for her daughters if she was clinging to a dying little thing.

"Thank you… You are an angel. You're the best in Neul."

Serenica got her payment and gave the woman a box full off the extract. The coins weren't nearly enough. People were pretending to be healthy in order to drink and fuck the rainy season away. Only after that they would come with a disease of the groin or shaking or something like that and they would scream and demand to be fixed.

Serenica closed her door and let her body slide down to the floor.

She had to repair things with Helen. This awful feeling was only partly due to the fact that she was facing both eviction and jail soon. Her tender heart was burning with regret. She had called her best friend honorless. If that wasn't unforgivable, she didn't know what was. She had to try to earn Helen back, though.

Helen's apartment was empty. None of her roommates were around.

Serenica sat on a park bench, head buried in her hands, crying her soul out. She had been crying a lot lately. Tears seemed to flow from her eyes at the drop of a hat. Was it any wonder, though? Nothing was right. Nothing was right anymore and if things were bad, they could always be counted on to turn to worse.

A glimpse of hope, a light blue hem of a fashionable party dress, gaps in the fabric showcasing hip bones, like modern royals – it was a friend of Helen! That was nearly as good as meeting the woman herself.

"Simbia, darling –" Serenica started to stutter. Surely someone had cursed her. There was something wrong with her. She was cursed to squander money and stutter and get her cover blown.

"Serenica! You look like death," Simbia said. She gathered her hem and sat next to Serenica, carefully, in order to avoid getting her clothes dirty.

"Frankly, I feel like I've died twice during the last hours. Do you happen to know where Helen is?"

"So it was you who got her like that. She's drinking with Roinar. Awful, she was. Told us all to go to hell or worse."

Serenica couldn't possibly feel more regret. A stinging pain in her chest reminded her constantly that she was acting like a callous fool.

Helen had been awful too, though. To suggest being chained to servitude for life – surely it was just her privilege speaking. If Helen had known just how bad it hurt to always be considered lesser, she would never have considered the suggestion. Molly! What a name. At least Serenica had a beautiful name.

"You're not going to make her angry again, are you?" Simbia asked. "She hurt me badly with her mouth. I guess I have to blame myself for living with such a reckless person."

"I have no intention to do so. I need to fix things with her."