1 Shoulder Demon

The entirety of myself is sweetish sour. To a lot of people, I'm either really sweet or just sweetish-sour. Maybe that's what my friends saw of me when they made me a shoulder angel in our skit.

That skit pissed me off. As an angel I had to reason why it was so important to follow the rules just because they're there, and I would sound like a mom to the skit protagonist by just saying "You have to follow the rules."

We ended up switching roles, and I began to question my personality.

A while ago, my family went out to get bubble tea again. I decided on a strawberry tapioca for once, because people always tell me I remind them of one. We rode home and I spilled it all over the ground of the van, not saying anything. I had no guilt of it either. Puberty needs a more evil name, you know? My glooming eyes loom over the puddle of sweet tea, it felt a little like I was losing myself. Shoving some weird shoulder angel off a cliff and glaring as she falls, don't worry... she'll fly back to me soon.

I started looking at myself from my childhood, how I climbed out of my crib and made a mess in the kitchen, how I would loosen up my seatbelt by arching by back and screaming for 30 minutes straight, I was a trouble maker and really good at hiding at hide and seek but... maybe I have too much of a shoulder demon.

School is more than a jail. You have to sit down in a desk like you did something wrong, burn your earwax at a talking fan for 7 hours, and unlike jail you don't get combat or free food. Online schooling is amazing. You could cheat on the tests and play minecraft, mute the tab of google classroom and talk on discord to ignore your teacher in zoom meetings. I'm sure you know someone who thinks of school like this. This is all I know.

The biggest reason I hate education so much is because of the teachers. Your whole parental trust and privelidges weighed on some pesky adult. I feel like my school specifically doesn't treat me fairly because they KNOW all I have is my listening ears and I lack in everything else. I would need someone patient and good at explaining to teach me, and the only teacher I know who does that is my science teacher.

Even more, my parents are always trying to lecture me on something. As a teenager that's just how it seems, and in reality they just have all my mistakes standing out. No, they aren't that asian.

It's mostly my mom, although she's easy.to contain. My dad gets angry really easily though, and he takes it out on the world making everyone else's life hell. Neither of them recognize when me and my sister are going through stress.

Quarantine, isolation and sitting still can make lethal damage. So while I was already a little taken over, my english teacher never changes you know?

I don't like religion. Religion is a required subject too, and I sometimes wanna yell at how big of a cliche every part of it is but... If I did I'd be kicked out right?

Nah you don't get it. I got mad at both my english and religion teacher because they teamed up. I almost got kicked out, but my school is pampered and it's even worse. I wrote insults in all my assignments, I skipped everything else I came across. Thats what stress can do.

When I was finally punished by my parents (my mom just lectured me while my dad slammed my doors at 4 in the morning to wake me up), I didn't treat it like a punishment. I wish my parents would understand that teenagers go through more stress than anyone. Getting used to reality isn't easier than reading a bill payment.

I don't care that my parents are trying their hardest to get me to try in school. Sometimes I do decide to push my motiviation, but some things in life you have to ignore. Not everything is a spiderman mask that you have no choice but to put on. I know that I don't want to live on the streets, and that isn't my life plan. I act on my own all the time and I don't like living in a bowl of honey.

I'm not a law student. Maybe I'd be more suited to a side of the world where people accept my inner shoulder demon while "she" comes back.

I'm a journalist.

But I'm sure I just completely ranted here uhh