A Absurd Morning

In the morning, I awoke to a strange sensation. The sun beamed right into my face, like a flashbang was going off infinitely at me. I tried to raise my hands to block it, but ultimately I couldn't. It felt like…someone was laying on them…Actually it kinda felt numb.

Now, this could be anything…Paralysis demon? No, I haven't had that happen to me once in this world…it'll be cool to experience it once! Maybe it's just the unbearable weight that I've put into myself? Nah, couldn't be…

"..uh…Kota?" A voice groaned out. I felt the pressure of hands push against me as I saw whoever thought it'd be a good idea to lay on me.

A silver haired girl slowly rose and stared sleepily at me, drool marks laced her cheek. The girl wore a large plain white shirt, it seemed like she changed before I entered the room and just fell asleep.

But I think what's more important, is the fact that she was still sitting on my arm. Both my arms were trapped underneath her, like I slept with my

Hands on my stomach. Why did I fall asleep like this? Another mystery to be solved, but right now I need to move my hands!

"Lilith, can you kindly move yourself off my stomach? I can't feel my hands." I asked her gently but I was pretty sure she heard the annoyance in my tone.

She rubbed her eyes as she slowly started to realize what I meant. But instead of even moving herself off my stomach, she simply grabbed my arms that were tucked under her and let them loose.

"…Thanks?" I awkwardly said, I moved my hands and slowly felt them come back to life. "Can you tell me why you were sleeping on me like a beArgh!" Before I could finish what I was saying, Lilith sleepily fell forward and laid on me once more.

"H-hey! Wake up!" I nudged her. What the hell, did she really just fall asleep again? Once more, Lilith groaned, but with annoyance. I soon realized that this might have been a mistake as I saw her slowly clench her fist and raised it, aiming right at my side.

"Lilith, stop! I'm defenseless, this is like pinning someone who can't fight ba-Agh!" I felt a sharp pain at my side as Lilith punched me. It was a swift one, a hard one, a brutal one. I found myself clawing at her back in an effort to push her off, but to no avail.

"Hrn…Can't we just lay in bed a few more moments?" Lilith groaned out, She hadn't even lifted her head off my chest. "Just a day with relaxation?"

"I…" I thought about it for a moment. What was I in a rush for? Maybe because my arms were numb, I felt the urgency to get them moving…But they're fine right now. Maybe with the sun beaming into my face, I just wanted to move out of the way. But…I'd have to move Lilith, and honestly taking another punch would probably put me back into a sleep out of the pain…So I think I'd rather just listen to her.

"…Ugh, fine. We can lay here, but we should be up and running in the morning!" I reluctantly agreed with her. "Can't just snooze all day and be lazy!"

"Mmm…" Lilith mumbled agreeingly. "Just a bit…"

So now…I found myself wide awake now, under the clutches of her. Oddly enough, I could feel her heartbeat on my stomach…slow and steady, like a clock ticking. One of Her hands lightly tapped against my side as she used the one to punch me to soothe the spot she hit. I laid my hands onto her back and lightly tapped as well, now starting to find myself feeling a bit euphoric.

Usually, I don't mind Lilith getting a bit cuddly with me. I mean she did it a lot when we slept at Prusha, but this is a little bit more intimate…Too intimate.

Suddenly, it became much more apparent to me that I was now rubbing her back, brushing back and forth. Lilith didn't seem to mind, but I was starting to feel a bit odd.

"…Kota, what is that?" Lilith suddenly mumbled. She lifted her head and looked at me confused.

Ah. I see. How unfortunate. I have gotten the morning wood. The tent has been set. And I am now in panic mode.

Look, I've dealt with this before in my past life and sometimes when I'd wake up in Prusha. And usually in Prusha. Lilith is either clinging to my side or just on her side sleeping.

"A-ah, Lilith get off! I need to head to the bathroom, I had too much Soda!" I didn't even consider the fact that I just said soda to her, but I used all my strength to push her to the side of me.

"H-hey!" That was the only thing I heard from her before I stormed right towards the door.

Making my way out of the room, luckily no one was around to notice. Downstairs, I could hear what seemed to be Synthia cooking. Seems like she was up and doing work already, probably means Gerald is as well…

Looking towards the bathroom, I saw that the wooden door was closed. No biggie, people leave doors closed. I don't think anyone was in it, I just need to get in there and wait this predicament out.

Proceeding my way to the bathroom door, I guess I must've made a ruckus while leaving mine, as Gerald opened his door. The brown haired man wore only his gray pants as he yawned, not even noticing me. Once he noticed my urgent footsteps, he gave me a wave.

"Morning, Kota." He greeted me. But with my urgency to get rid of my boner, I didn't reply. He gave me a weird look as I hurried to the bathroom.

Before I could even touch the door handle of the door, I felt Gerald grab ahold of my shoulder. He must've noticed something was up with me.

"Kota, why are you in a hurry? You almost pee in bed?"

"No! I just need to head to the bathroom!"

"Hold on a minute, I've seen that sort of walking! Hands in front of yourself, covering your groin, nervous looking!" Gerald then bent down to his knees and turned me around to face him, his face having a deathly serious look on it. "…Morning wood."

"Don't say it out loud, everyone will hear!" I peered past him to see if anyone was going up the stairs. Didn't seem like anyone planned on going up. "I just wanna get rid of it!"

Gerald's mouth slowly formed in a smile, he closed his eyes and nodded to himself as if this was a moment he was waiting for. Perhaps it was, maybe he's been waiting patiently for a moment like this so he can bust out his own skills on dealing with things like this.

"Ah…I should be teaching you how to deal with it. Y'know your old dad here had situations like this before, back when I was a…Playboy in my younger days."

"Spare me the details, just tell me how to get rid of it easier!" I pointed at him.

"Hold on, I'm getting there! Besides, it should be subsiding since I'm distracting you from it!" He peered down to my crotch. "I hope. I don't really want to check…"

"Don't."

"You know, I think I should start teaching you about the…Holes and the sticks, the…When a girl meets a boy thing. You are at that age where you start changing."

I groaned. It was also at this moment that my bedroom door opened, Lilith peeking her head out towards me and Gerald. Her silver hair looked like a mess from the bed.

Gerald turned and looked at her. Then at me. Then back at her, almost trying to piece something together. When he finished his thought, he gave me a sly look. He then greeted Lilith while looking at me.

"Lilith! Good morning! Sleep well?"

Lilith then walked her way into the hallway, proceeding to stretch her arms up. "Hrrngh…I slept alright. Kota moved a lot in his sleep, though."

With her stretching, the white shirt she had on lifted itself, Revealing her stomach to me. But it also revealed that she was wearing shorts underneath. Pity.

Wait…No, it's not a pity! I shouldn't even be looking at her like this! Oh god damn it, Gerald is smiling crazily at me.

"Haha…Did he? He didn't poke you with something, did he?" Gerald snickered.

"Hm?" Lilith looked at him confused.

Gerald raised his hand at her and waved dismissively. "Nothing. Uhhh, Lilith you should head downstairs and see what Synthia wants you to help with. Maybe you can learn a few things from her."

"…Ok?" Lilith scratched her head in confusion. As she headed towards the stairs, she seemed to hesitate and muttered something before finally heading down. "…Learning from Synthia?…Scary."

Gerald turned his attention to me. "You sly puppy." I waved a finger at me.

"I didn't do a thing." I insisted. "I woke up and she was sleeping on me, it was just one of those days where my tent rose!"

"Ok! Alright, we can go with that story…" Gerald rolled his eyes, not believing me. "I'll keep it short then. Here…" He then pointed at my hand. "Use cold water. Splash it in yourself."

"…Ok, are you being serious?"

"Yes, that shock from the cold water will basically shrivel you up. Did it a lot when I was adventuring." Gerald then got up from his knees. "Look, I gotta head downstairs and practice. Maybe I'll have Lilith and Kale join me."

"Fine, I'll do your trick." I reluctantly agreed.

I turned around to head for the bathroom as Gerald headed his way down the stairs. As I got closer to the bathroom, I wondered to myself. Would putting cold water on myself really work? I don't ever recall doing that before in my past life. I sort of just waited it out and hoped. Well if it doesn't work, we can just wait in the bathroom.

"Hm?" I had my hand on the door knob of the bathroom door and noticed it wouldn't budge. I rattled it a bit more to see whether or not I even opened it in the first place. Nothing.

"Uh…Anyone in here?" I awkwardly asked. "Need to pee."

There was a long silence from the bathroom before I heard a voice inside it.

"Occupied…"

"A-Amelia? How long have you been in there?"

"The whole morning! I'm hiding!"

I scratched my head. "From…who?"

"Your mom! She scares the crap out of me! Why's your mom so scary? She Literally gave me death glares when teaching me wind spells!" Then there was a pause. "…And I also don't really want to help with cooking."

"You're being lazy." I was starting to get more aggressive, pushing against the door. "Now leave the bathroom, so I can piss!"

"Piss outside! There's a whole tree we repaired just for you!" Amelia quickly shot back at me. "Or go piss in a bucket or something, you can do water spells!"

I stopped tugging on the doorknob. You know, she's actually kinda right. Isn't there a bucket somewhere in my room? I could just pour water into that and pour over myself. Lilith is out of the room, so I'd be able to do that. It'd be a real quick clean up as well, just get a towel and soak it up or even use my magic to clean it.

"You gave me an idea, amelia! Thanks, have fun. In the bathroom!" I said, pulling away from the door.

As I walked back to my room, I overheard Amelia from the bathroom.

"W-wait, I just realized there's nothing to wipe in here! Kota!"

I didn't pay any attention to that, I just strolled right back into my room and went on searching for the bucket in my room. Easily enough, I found it beside the large dresser.

Now I silently casted a water spell and watched as the water pooled right into the bucket. Once I found it good enough to be full, I grabbed ahold of it and immediately dumped it onto myself.

The sheer shock of the cold water hitting me made me wiggle on the spot. "Haaah, Cold! What the hell?! T-this is like freezing cold!" I shivered and dropped the bucket immediately. Besides the freezing clothes that stuck to me, I immediately noticed that my problem was now gone. The mighty pole that I had was now shrinking…Well it's not that mighty, but I'm hopeful in the future that it will be.

What a weird morning to start with. I had a whole conversation going on in my head with Duvul when I was sleeping. I thought this morning would be more serious and I'd have to do something. Instead, I had to deal with Morning wood and trying to keep Liliths purity intact. Now I'm just standing here in my room, wet and cold.

And I need to pee now. All the talking about water and trying to get to the bathroom has now suddenly urged my body to needing to piss.

"God damn it…" I brushed my wet black hair back, now regretting everything that had transpired this morning. "The hell am I going to do?"

I took my wet clothes and got myself into a new set quickly. I managed to grab and put on some black shorts and a teal shirt that was inside the dresser. I tossed the now wet clothes into the dirty laundry basket and began to hastily clean the floor of the water.

The increasing urge to piss was now killing me as I used a wind spell to dry out the water, grabbing a towel to pick the pace of the progress. In a matter of a minute, the floor dried as I squeezed the towel into the bucket that I'd placed correctly.

Ok, now that my issue and the floor issue was fixed. I need to piss. Unfortunately, Amelia is still inside the bathroom…Which means I gotta figure something out. I could probably follow Amelia's insult and use a tree or the bucket.

I gave the bucket a long hard stare. Questioning things like if anyone would come into the room, what would I do? What if I end up missing and hit the floor? If I went to piss outside on the trees, wouldn't someone spot me? Maybe it's plausible that the people here don't really mind, but I do. I don't want anyone seeing me.

I found myself at a stump, the urge of pissing increasing even more as I tried to decide on what to do. Maybe I should pray to god? Would god even hear me in this world?

Suddenly, I heard the door of the bathroom open. I immediately walked to the door and opened it. Upon opening the door, I saw Amelia walking her way to the stars before spotting me. She had an angry look on her face.

"Hey! You left me with nothing to wipe!"

"Don't care! Need to piss!"

"Wha-Hey! No shoving!" I rushed past Amelia, pushing her aside as I finally had a chance to use the bathroom.

And alas, I found peace and quiet inside the bathroom. Letting the waterfall flow down, waves of relief flowed through me.

With the morning starting, I wondered what Lilith was up to. Maybe she is helping Synthia cook or do something, or with Gerald.

Surely we have something to do today before we hit back on the road?

A/N: Hey all, hope you enjoy this more light hearted chapter. I've had more time to write, I'm able to dish out more chapter! I'm hoping on finishing this volume before the beginning of June, so they'll most likely be two more chapters left for this! Hope you all wait for the next Upload!