Thirty Four

I stormed into the library, my words tumbling out in a frantic rush. "I attacked Zane and accidentally rattled." Sorelle and Thadeus looked up at me, their faces a picture of surprise.Thadeus looked confused, his brow furrowed in a deep crease. "You... rattled?" he repeated, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.Sorelle answered him, her voice calm and soothing. "It's a new development. But I think that's why she survived the bridge. She must have Sidhe genes somewhere down the line."Thadeus looked at me with wonder, his hand stroking his chin. "Fascinating! This would make for an amazing play script." He was already mentally writing the story of my life, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes in exasperation."Can I talk to Sorelle alone, Thadeus? It's girl stuff," I said, trying to sound calm despite the panic rising up inside me.Thadeus nodded in understanding, clasping my shoulder before he left. "Of course, dear. I'll leave you two to your... girl talk."Sorelle looked at me concerned, her eyes scanning my face for any sign of distress. "What's wrong, Ace? You look like you're panicking."I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. But the words just tumbled out as I nervously paced, a jumbled mess of emotions and fears. "I am panicking! Zane rattled back at me and my body... reacted. I love Lennon, but I also like Zane. What if Lennon finds out and wants nothing to do with me? This is bad, this is so bad."Sorelle laughed and it flowed out like a warm breeze on a summer day. Confusion spread across my face as I looked at her with a pleading expression. She guided me to sit down, and I settled in next to her, feeling her calming energy wash over me."Let me tell you something about Sidhe males, Ace," she said, her voice low and soothing. "They love the competition, it gives their beast form a sense of purpose. They jump at the chance to parade their dominance around. If Lennon finds out you've taken an interest in Zane, it'll only inspire Lennon to prove why he's the better option. And you need to let him prove it to you. It'll make him appreciate you more when you choose him over Zane."I listened, entranced, as Sorelle explained the ways of the Sidhe males. It was a primal game, one that was connected to their beast forms. I couldn't help but think of Lennon and Zane, both of them vying for my attention. It excited me."It's a silly game, but it's one that's deeply ingrained in our culture," Sorelle continued. "Sidhe males are more likely to look elsewhere if you don't have other males on your radar. You have nothing to worry about. It's actually a good thing."I trusted Sorelle, and her words of wisdom calmed me down, as always. Plus, she had the prince of Anahate courting her daily, along with one of the highest-ranking ManPuri Valtareans. Both males seemed even more attracted to her every day, and I couldn't help but wonder if she was right.She continued "It's not your job to stress over choosing a male. Your job is to enjoy whichever males peak your interest until one of them proves that they're the one you should choose."My brows furrowed as I processed what she'd said. "But what if I choose Zane? I won't, of course, I can't stand him. But hypothetically..."Sorelle's eyes glimmered with amusement, and she leaned in close. "If you were to hypothetically choose Zane, then you'd choose Zane," she said, her voice dismissing like it would be no big deal. "And Lennon would probably continue to prove himself to you until you were either married or claimed. And honestly, Zane might be the better choice with Lennon stuck in The Dread. But ultimately the choice is yours. If you do have a beast within you, it'll help you choose the best Sidhe male. Our beasts are driven by primal desires. They care less about love and more about survival. Your beast will help you choose the best provider, the best male that will ensure your survival in case you ever bear children. Our inner beasts look for good hunters, strong protectors, and the best genes to create children."I listened intently as Sorelle explained the intricacies of Sidhe culture, my mind reeling with the complexity of it all. The thought of choosing anyone but Lennon made my stomach churn, but I was already being calmed by Sorelle's presence and wisdom. As I mulled over her words, I knew that she was right. I needed to let Lennon prove himself to me, to show me that he was the better option. And if Zane was involved, then so be it. I could play that game, If I could get out of my own head, out of the guilt I carried. Enjoying whichever male peaked my interest sounded easier said than done though."What do you mean by being claimed?" I asked, soaking up the knowledge of Sidhe culture."So, being married is our Sidhe form's way of declaring loyalty to another Sidhe," she said, her voice calm and soothing. "From what I've read, marriage here is similar to that of the human lands. Being claimed is the beast form's way. Tomorrow at breakfast, look around at the Sidhe. You'll notice that some of them have a permanent bite mark on their necks, he-she-they it doesn't matter. Any gender can claim another. The claiming bite permanently mixes two Sidhe's scents, letting other Sidhe know that they're taken. It's a deeply bonded agreement, a declaration of loyalty. The bite mark is akin to a wedding ring."I bit my lip, processing everything she'd told me. My hand grazed over my neck, where Lennon had bitten me. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be claimed, to have that deep bond with a Sidhe.Sorelle noticed the gesture and continued, "Lennon hasn't claimed you, you'd see the bite and wear his scent if he had. But imagine his bite and amplify that feeling by a million, apparently that's what it feels like to be claimed. Pure ecstasy."The thought had me swallowing hard. More bliss than the bite I'd already experienced? How was that even possible? I felt a shiver run down my spine at the mere thought of it.Sorelle continued, "The only place it's a little different is in Svadhi, my region. Svadhians worship and hold creation magic. It's our highest honor to create new life, so many Svadhians have multiple claims and fuses, to ensure ample opportunity to create new life."My brows furrowed with confusion. "What's the difference between a claim and a fuse?" I asked, my mind racing with questions.Sorelle smiled patiently. "A claim is self-selected, a fuse is selected by the magic of Numariya because the magic believes the fused couple will create offspring that will benefit the land. Fuses can be denied, but it's a very difficult thing to do. The fuse bond is stronger than any other."I rubbed my temples, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "I feel like I should be taking notes," I said, laughing.Sorelle chuckled. "You probably should, note-taking helps you absorb information better."I nodded, making a mental note to take actual notes next time. I thought back to the morning, remembering the warning Lennon had given me. "So, why would Lennon tell me not to purr around Sidhe males?"Sorelle answered, "Letting out your beast form's purr is like standing up in a crowded room and yelling, 'Hey, who wants to fuck, I'm ready!'"We both laughed hysterically at the mental image. Sorelle continued, "It basically alerts every Sidhe in the near vicinity that you're looking to mate. It's like sending out a beacon, saying 'I'm ready to find my partner and create new life'."I felt a flush rise to my cheeks at the thought of my purring having such a profound effect on the Sidhe around me.Sorelle must have noticed my expression, because she continued with a calming demeanor, "Just, don't overthink it, Ace. Just be yourself and let the males handle themselves accordingly. Everything will fall into place the way it's supposed to."I felt a flutter in my chest as her words took root, like a seed planted in fertile soil. But as I turned her advice over in my mind, I couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty. Who was I, really? What did it even mean to be myself when my memories were shrouded in mist? Sorelle's laughter broke the spell, and I looked up to find her watching me with an amused glint in her eye.I smiled back at her. "Is it rude to ask if I can hear your purr?" I asked, my fingers fidgeting with the delicate fabric of my dress. Lennon's words echoed in my mind - my purr sounded different, but I had no idea what that meant.Sorelle's smile was like a ray of sunshine, warm and inviting. "Not at all," she said, her voice husky with amusement. "Though I must admit, I've never been asked to purr before."With a flick of her wrist, she conjured a shimmering shield around us, a soundproof bubble that enclosed us in a world of our own. The air vibrated with magic, and I felt my senses come alive as a low rumble began to build in her chest. It was like nothing I'd ever heard before - a gentle thrumming that seemed to speak directly to my soul. As the purr grew louder, smoother, and more feminine, I felt my body respond, my arm hairs standing on end as a warm, golden energy seeped into my very bones. It was a motherly sound, like being enveloped in a womb, safe and protected. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I purred in response, our voices blending together in a harmony that spoke of ancient, primal survival. Sorelle's eyes met mine, and I felt a jolt of connection, as if our purrs had awakened a deep and abiding bond between us. Tears streamed down our faces as we sang together, our voices entwining like the threads of a rich tapestry. It was a beauty that transcended words, a love that seemed to permeate every molecule of air around us. But our idyllic bubble was short-lived. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zane enter the library, his eyes scanning the space as if searching for something - or someone. Our purrs faltered, dying on our lips as Sorelle snapped down the shield. But even as the magic dissipated, I could sense the remnants of the vibrations, a lingering echo that seemed to reverberate deep within my chest. Zane's eyes met mine as I wiped away the tears, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. His gaze was hooded, his pupils dark and unfathomable, but I could sense the spark of desire that flared within them. I felt a flutter in my chest, a mix of fear and fascination that left me breathless. Zane was a force to be reckoned with, a stormy sea that threatened to sweep me under. But as our gazes locked, I knew that I couldn't deny the attraction that simmered between us - a complicated, messy feeling that I had no idea how to navigate.Sorelle's voice broke the spell, her laughter like a splash of cold water. "That was fucking awesome!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "Next time I'm stressed, I'm coming to you for another purr bubble session."I laughed with her, still feeling the vibrations of our purrs resonating within the library. I knew that I had a long and winding road ahead of me, a journey of self-discovery that would take me to the very depths of my soul. But I was determined to find my way, to uncover the secrets of my past and forge a new path forward. And as I met Zane's gaze once more, I knew that I would have to navigate the treacherous waters of my heart, no matter how daunting the journey may seem.