Grandma Strikes!

Hey! Author here. Prologue was pretty slow and boring right? Well that was just to show that the main character had a pretty normal life before all of this.

Now then. Let the ridiculous life begin!

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Max was still in bed as the morning sun rose. Unfortunately for him, his life was about to make a turn for the worse...

*Ding*

*System booting*

*System started*

*First mission*

*Survive the neighbor's assault.*

*Survive for 5 minutes.*

*Boom!*

The window shattered into pieces as an old grandma sat on his bed and began caressing his nipple.

"F-five more minutes mom..."

Max groaned and turned himself over.

"Don't worry Maxey, Auntey is here to tend to that morning wood..."

She let out a soft voice and began reaching for his pants.

"Stop right there you old hag! He's mine!"

Another old woman climbed through the window and tackled her.

While they were rolling around on the floor strangling eachother, another grandma with giant muscles was sneakily pulling down Max's pants.

"Mom what the hell are you doing...?"

Max was confused as to why his pants were being changed, when he suddenly opened his eyes and saw the most wrinkly and saggy face he had ever seen before.

Their eyes met and they stood like statues for a few seconds before they rendered what was happening.

"Holy f*ck! Rapists!"

Max punched the woman in the face. Causing her to let out a moan.

"More! More!"

The woman was clinging onto his pants which were slowly coming off to show his polkadot underwear.

"This old woman wants to eat some young dragon meat! I need to get out of here!" Max thought.

Max kicked the old woman off his legs and then leapt for the door which was still meters away. Though he suddenly felt a saggy hand on his shoulder with a ridiculous amount of strength.

"Let me go you foul demon!"

Max spun around and saw a pair of wrinkly lips closing in on his face.

"Agh!"

Max headbutted the woman's nose with his forehead and tried to run again as she went down for the count.

The two other women were moving towards him at an alarming speed while he was trying to back away.

*System advises host to run.*

*Threat is within 100 meters.*

"Yes, i know that already! Can't you do something?!" Max yelled in his mind.

*It seems host is a useless weakling. It can't be helped so the great me shall aid you.*

For some reason this system sounded like a haughty robot girl who considered herself a god for everything to witness.

"What a cocky core manager!" Thought Max as he dodged a tackle.

*Host should step left.*

"What why?! That superstrength grandma is over there!"

*Just do it. Useless scum.*

"Ugh... Fine!"

Max stepped left and tripped over his gaming controller.

"Curse you system!!!"

Max shouted as he fell over and landed on his face after a dramatic spinning fall.

To his surprise though, he hit his head on his alarm clock with the fall and it shot towards the superstrength grandma who was still on the floor KO'ed.

She was actually awake and waiting for an oppurtunity to strike however. This grandma was going to do anything to capture him again afterall.

The clock landed on the grandma's groin as she thought it was Max and opened her eyes which were full of hunger.

Then the clock started going off as it began to ring and vibrate.

*Ring!* *Ring!* *Ring!*

"Master! It's time to wake up desu!"

Max cringed at his embarrasing alarm, and then saw that it was an effective weapon.

"Ooooh!!! Aaaaaaahhhhh!!"

The strong grandma was crying out like a maiden being assaulted by bandits as tears fell from her eyes and her snot mixed with the fluids going down her legs. The alarm clock was vibrating madly while the grandma's wrinkly legs were holding it in place.

"F*ck! What a dirty system!"

Max shouted in his mind.

*Correction. It was you who did that host. I am purely innocent.*

"Oh ma gaaaa-!!!"

The grandma's legs snapped close together as her wrinkled muscles bulged like a macho man showing off.

Max's alarm clock was crushed into scrap as he winced.

"Farewell my wakeup servant... Your sacrifice was not in vain..." Max shed a tear of remorse for his lost comrade.

*Host eliminated one threat. Awarded 10 virgin points.*

*Host is a scum who finds pleasure in throwing vibrating clocks at grandmas...*

"What?! Your mom! That was all you!!!"

Max shouted angrily in his head.

"hehehehehe...."

Max suddenly felt an ominous aura behind him as he heard the laughing of an old woman which sent shivers down his spine.

Max noticed his gaming controller that he tripped over earlier was next to his head and he grabbed it and threw it at the grandma's face.

"You want something to f*ck?! F*ck this instead!"

The grandma tilted her head like some martial master in a movie and dodged it easily.

"What the f*ck?!"

Max shouted before rolling away. There was definately more to these old women than he thought.

The grandma readied herself for a tackle, when the controller's cord wrapped around her neck and choked her.

"Aggghhh!"

The crazy old woman let out a cry like a dying rat as she held her hands around her neck trying to get the cords off.

Max realised he had left the game on last night, and leapt towards the grandma.

"Yes, Maxey. Come to auntey...!"

She shouted weakly.

"In your dreams old hag!"

Max shouted and pressed the start button on the controller to unpause it.

His avatar was just about to have a weapon push with the final boss and the boss battle music started playing in the room.

"Its time to die hero!"

The boss shouted from the tv screen.

The controller unwrapped itself from the grandma's neck slightly from Max pushing its button, and drooped down her chest before landing on her groin.

*Zzt* *Zzt* *Zzt*

The controller started vibrating madly, as its cord tightened its grip around the old lady's neck and drowned itself in granny fluids.

"Hagggghhh!!!!!"

The old woman's tongue was flying like an acrobatic bird as she spat spit all over Max's face with a look of pained pleasure.

"I think I'm going to throw up after this..."

Max mumbled.

*Host has no respect for his elders...*

"Shut up! You started it!"

*But host is the one who did this.*

"I was planning something else! This is a mess!"

Shouted max in his head.

The old woman flopped onto to floor in a dramatic fall, as she shed tears of happiness and fainted.

*Threat eliminated. Scum host is awarded 10 virgin points."

"Like I said... This is all your fault!!!"

Max screamed in agony in his head.

"Not to mentio-"

Before he could continue, he was tackled by the last grandma who was spitting drool into his eyes.

"Aaaah! Get off me!!!"

Max tried to shove her off but her strength was inhuman.

"Its okay Maxey! Auntey has some nice waist movement to make you happy!"

She had the eyes of a mad dog as spit was foaming at her mouth and she smelled of alchohol.

"Disgusting! Get off!"

Max kneed her in the groin which caused her to weaken and let out a moan.

"Aah!!! Naughty boy!"

"Shut up! You disgusting witch!"

Max rolled away from her as she weakened and ran to the door with his little brothers life on the line. There were only a few meters left and he was sprinting like a madman.

"Come here Maxey!!!!"

The old hag shouted as she grabbed his shoulder with her arm.

"Holy sh*t! Shes too fast!" Max yelled in his head.

Max spun around and jumped with both feet off the ground before he kicked both feet into her groin, launching off of her like a spring towards the door.

"So long b*tch!" Max yelled as she was weakened once more.

Max tumbled out the door and then stood up as fast as he could.

Thump!

He slammed the door behind him like he was sealing a gate to hell.

"That was scary..." Max mumbled as he let out gasps of air from his exhaustion.

*Host needs to learn how to breathe under pressure.*

"Shut up!" Max shouted in his head.

Max grabbed a chair nearby and locked it on the door before sitting down to catch his breath.

*Mission ending in...*

*3*

*2*

*1*

*Mission complete.*