3 what a dilemma

As I opened the white curtains on my bed, I noticed the carpet embroidered with a silver sword. I also saw a full-length mirror whose edge was decorated with silver with the emblem i can never forget.

Although I have already confirmed it. It still felt so unreal to live again. It felt strange yet familiar. I got out of bed and looked around.

I approached the window and opened the white curtains. I stiffened when I looked at the person outside the window.

'What happened? Why do I see him still here? Didn't I ask him I wouldn't meet him? If he wants to take a stroll why don't he go to his garden? After all his garden was double the size of mine.'

As if sensing my gaze, he looked where I stood and I turned back. 'how could I forget his strong senses.' I scolded myself keeping my eyes shut and leaning back against the wall.

Taking a deep breath, I approached the silver mirror that was shining in the sunshine. My dark hairs were curled down to my back and my green eyes looked back at me.

Obviously it was me. My eyes, facial expressions and body are slightly different from what I remember about myself in my memory. It looks like I am young again. Probably around 25 or 26...

"Good morning, my lady. You called for me."

"Lina?"

I still gazed at the brown-haired girl with wide eyes. It feels so good to see her back. When I was taken to prison. She was killed back then.

She was blamed for helping me in my schemes. I told them, she was innocent but who would listen to a prisoner.

I looked at her with teary eyes, unable to utter a single word.

"I know my lady you find it difficult to get up early in the morning. But I couldn't have denied the lady in waiting of Archduke. I apologise for my mistake, you can punish me as you please" said the girl bowing her head further.

I could feel her shivering. My silence must have scared her. Have I already started punishing her too?

Often in the past, I used to take out my anger on the maids. Lina has been my maid since I became the duchess of Forchestiere empire.

In just the first year of serving me, I spent all the time complaining about the things I have been forced to endure.

Their behaviour and clothing show my harsh treatment to my serving staff. The way she is shivering, she must be sure, I will give her a harsh punishment.

I really lived my image as a villain. All the staff expect to be scolded immediately for doing minor mistakes. I even punished the staff for looking a bit of pretty. In case they gain Cassius attention.

I was so mad in jealousy. Come to think of it. It's all again, because of him. If only I wouldn't have loved him. I would never have been a villain.

So, in this lifetime, I promise I would keep no relation to him.

"Your highness" I heard her quivering voice.

I sighed, it looks like I had to do more hard work than I thought.

"Ah, yes. Lina, I want to take a bath. Prepare for it." I replied as gently as I can.

I think I also need to practice it.

I saw her, still shaking there like a leaf under the storm. 'did I ask for something wrong' I tilted my head in confusion.

"I... I apologise my lady." She replied again and my brows furrowed. 'which word of mine sounded like I need an apology.'

"It is fine. You may leave now." I said again trying to be gentle. But she was suspicious. It looks like she thinks I am testing her. As if she would go, I will give her harsher punishment. I closed my eyes in defeat. Is it really a second chance god! Or is it a new way to punish me?

"Lina" I called. "The bath"

"Ah, yes your highness, I apologise for my indolence, your highness." And with that, she bowed and scurried away.

I looked at her running and mused, If I would behave nicely to her now, would she be more suspicious.

Once alone, I looked back at the mirror, my skin looks fair and soft like it used to be. But I could still feel all the dirt, the filth over me.

I lived the last days of my life in an underground prison. There was nothing but darkness and dirt.

I still feel dirty after being there. I need a long good bath to make myself feel better. I touched the mark on my ear again, as if I need to feel it again and again to reassure myself.

'I would stay in the garden later to feel the sun on my skin again' with that thought I hummed a tune when I heard a 'bang'

I turned back and saw Norma, my other maid on the floor looking wide-eyed at me. The moment her gaze met mine. She bowed her head at lightning speed. As if my gaze will burn her.

To be honest, now it is irritating me. Being good is more difficult especially when all the people around you are so suspicious of your movements.

See, she is still on the cold floor, like a statue. Did she forgot where she is!

"Norma"

She flinched and stammered. "Yes your highness, I apologise your highness."

See, she was still sitting there like she didn't even realize. Norma was my youngest maid. She used to be bubbly and chirpy when I came here.

But my ridicule and harsh words had changed her. Now she was the most frightened one among all. Lina must have told her about my behaviour, that's why she was looking so much in a daze.

But if I would help she would be frightened more.

'Oh god! What a dilemma'

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