12 The allergy

It was my first time entering Killian's chamber. His garden has a variety of flowers, I could see a saga of colours there. It must have felt good to sit and read here, 'if my relationship improved, no! When my relationship improved with Killian, I would come here often'

Walking with two maids behind me on each side, I entered

I saw him entering the room, after five minutes. If it had been old me, I would have felt insulted and left but now I smiled amiably, the way norma taught me to, but the result didn't look like I had expected.

Instead of smiling back, or at least be surprised as my maids do, he had no reaction on his face. As if he didn't notice me smiling at all. Or was he trying to annoy me? How much worse our relationship had been?

I just remembered pushing him once during my marriage, and denying to meet him whenever he asked for an audience with me? If I remembered correctly, I had thrown tea on him in the next summer tea party of the marchioness Efrine in the name of an accident, but there was still a week left to it or has it already passed.

I should have come more prepared! Taking a sigh, I smiled again, when he sat in front of me,

"Your highness" he bowed a little to show me respect and I nodded.

"How have you been, lord Killian?" I asked the simplest of questions to start the conversation.

"I am good, your highness. Thank you for paying attention," he replied in a blank voice with a stoic face, and with that, the conversation ended.

"You are looking good today lord Killian." I complimented him for starting the conversation again.

But regretful when he looked down at his hands and I noticed multiple small wounds there, his face turned more blank hiding every emotion in the deepest corner of his heart and nodded.

'Oh lord! Did he feel I wanted to say he was looking good in the wounds, that's not how I had thought the conversation to go' I immediately glared at Norma who was trying to hide behind Lina.

"Thank you, your highness," his voice brought my attention back to him.

I gave him an awkward smile, clearing the matter will only create further misunderstandings. "Lord Killian, I have bought a small gift for you." I changed the topic and took the box from Kate to give it to Killian.

"Thank you, your highness, you are too kind," he said with a small smile and took the box.

At least one thing was done well, small steps Marianne, small steps! I encouraged myself. But that happiness was also short-lived when I saw his grip tightening on the box.

His face was still stoic, but I could see the bubbling anger in his eyes, as I have tortured him for the whole fourteen years. I know his reaction well enough to find the minor changes, but why?

I immediately scolded myself for not checking what was in the box. And now even if I tried to peek it would look like I was taunting him further.

This meeting was more difficult than I had thought, I was trying my best to maintain my smile but my face was turning stiff looking at his blank reaction.

I eyed Lina and thank goodness she understood my signal and ordered the maids to start serving dishes. I sighed and asked him, "I had asked the chef to specially make these dishes for you, keeping your nutritious diet in mind."

He nodded again in acknowledgement and replied, " you are too kind your highness"

I bit my lips at his recorded reply for every statement but still nodded my head and signalled him to start.

"Is it up to you to taste Lord Killian?" I asked, looking at him elegantly.

His straight posture, proper hand movements and eating in silence show how well he was taught.

He only nodded, following the decorum of eating at an official place, but I didn't want to make this breakfast official, so I tried again, "do you like these dishes, lord Killian?"

I heard whispers behind me increasing, but the man whose voice I wanted to hear still didn't come. He just nodded at my question but whispers were aggravating with every passing second.

"What just happened?" I looked back at the maids of the lord's chamber, but the moment I eyed them they turned mum as if they had no voice.

Confused, I tilted my face to my staff, hoping to get the answers but their head was hung low. from the distance I have with them, I couldn't see their expressions well enough.

Shrugging my shoulders I let the matter go. Right now I have a more important task in my hand. That is to break the wall between me and duke.

I started eating my food back, giving him as many smiles as possible in between, to show him how happy I am to be here, to spend time with him.

But my face paled when I ate the next dish which he was eating from some time, as I had personally served it to him. It has berries in it, I looked at Killian with widened eyes but he was just sitting there in the best posture and having his food as nothing happened.

'Have I remembered wrong' I tilted my head, furrowing my brows in confusion, and watched him more intensely. That's when I noticed, shaking of his hands.

And my jaw dropped, I moved my hand and snatched the fork from his eyes. He looked at me, but just like before his gaze was blank, no surprise, anger, pain, just nothing. And to be honest it broke my heart further.

"Why are you eating when the dish has berries in it?" I asked him the question that was hurting me as if my heart was bleeding for him.

'Is it my retribution that no matter how hard I would try I would never do things right!'

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