17 Mother

There was budding bafflement in his eyes as if he was trying his best to assess the attack of the enemy but each time when he was sure of something. The enemy did the opposite thing.

'But why did he take me as an enemy, as far as I remember, except pushing him at my wedding party and avoiding him like a plaque, I hadn't done anything yet. Even the tea party where I was going to throw tea at him in anger is three days later. Oh! I will use that chance too.'

Getting a new chance to show affection, I even forgot about his reason for the confusion.

"Lord Killian, I know you have a tight schedule of training. Since it is difficult for you to take time for a picnic, then why don't you come with me to the royal garden tea party, organised by the empress."

Great! Now he was more baffled than before.

'Oh lord! Whether I agree or disagree their reaction would remain the same'

My lips were twitching looking at his suspicious gaze. 'He truly was the son of Cassius' both did nothing but be suspicious of me.

But I had also steeled my heart, no matter how deep you look into my eyes, it was only filled with determination.

How much time had passed, when he finally nodded, but just when I smiled he shook his head, the smile on my lips turned stiff again, as I asked,

"Is there any problem lord Killian?"

With furrowed brows, he looked at me, "your highness, I thought you were going with his highness to the tea party"

"His highness?" I asked bewildered

'How did he come between my plan?'

He nodded and the grip on his napkin tightened which immediately alerted all my senses, I could hear the danger bells ringing.

"Your highness, the whole palace knows about that incident," he said looking around.

'Huh!' "Which accident lord Killian' ' I asked, bewildered, I didn't remember any accident.

But he didn't reply, I followed his gaze and saw the maids stifling laughter. Confused, I looked at him again as he was now glaring and it immediately silenced all the maids as they bowed further.

"Leave" I ordered in the same calm and poise manner but they still caught my threatening voice and sprinted out. His maids were still there hesitating, he looked at me and then nodded at maids.

As if they could breathe again, they further bowed and followed my maids. Now we were the only two in the room, it was the perfect time to explain my intentions to him.

"Lord Killian"

"Your highness"

We both spoke at the same time. Then, both paused to let the other say first. Giving a kind smile to him, I told him, "why don't you speak first lord Killian"

Since there were no servants to listen to us anymore, he was looking less hesitant now, he looked at me and asked,

"Your highness, a few days ago you went to his highness chamber when he was attending a meeting and forced… I mean, you requested him many times to attend the royal tea party with you.`` His gaze was filled with distrust and despise.

'Since his a few days ago was already fifteen years ago for me, I didn't remember doing something like this. But when he told me, I wasn't surprised as I had used this trick many times in the past.

Whenever I wanted him to attend a party with me, I always went to his royal meeting and asked in front of everyone, so that he would not be able to deny it. They thought I was manipulative, but I just wanted some attention from the man I loved. But that's not the case now.

I glared at the sky once again, god was just playing tricks with me, why didn't he send me back before creating that drama.

'Just how much mess I had to clean now'

I coughed to clear my voice, and replied, "Lord Killian, I know I have made mistakes. I didn't care for you in the past. You must have felt bad. But I… I am trying to improve Killian.'' I said each word very slowly and clearly. But I was sure that those were still coming out a bit awkwardly. I don't feel young anymore as my soul is 41 years old but it was also true that I never had a child, I was pure even when I died.

I never felt or knew what motherhood was.

He was looking at me silently, but his eyes were just like his father, I never noticed in the past how much he looked like Cassius.

Taking a deep breath I continued.

"I admit, I am guilty of a couple of ploys to harass you in the past.."

"A couple, your highness?" he asked mockingly.

"A few" I corrected

This time he remained silent looking at my face, which I was sure, it was turning red.

At Least he still has some decency in comparison to his father.

"nevertheless ! this time that's not the case, I want to be your mother." there I said it, I told him that I would be his mother. I smiled wiping my hands from the napkin that was still on my lap.

It had taken all the energy of my body to utter that one word. Mother.

As I was never one, and I still didn't know if I could be one.

"Mother" he uttered with a laugh. It was cold, brutal, mocking. And I shuddered, no matter how much I tried, I would still shudder when he looked at me coldly and my hands instinctively rubbed my neck.