16 One of the Good Ones

As soon as I got home I shut myself in my room to avoid more of Faye's gushing about what a big step it was to be going to a family party. I was nauseous enough already. I had to deceive an entire group of Jon's friends and family. How on earth could I pull that off? I didn't know anything about being in love! How could I fake it that convincingly? I wish I could go to Nick for advice, being the only person I knew who had actually been in love, but he didn't approve of my project.

I ruminated over all of this as I curled my lifeless hair and put on a liberal amount of hairspray to hold it, which was the worst time to think about things because curling waist-length hair was such a mindless, time-consuming task. By the time I got to applying makeup I was close to hyperventilating.

What would Cindy do? She was so confident but didn't have a clue about men, just like me. All of our experiences with them were so negative. She never would have gotten herself involved with someone like this. Then again, she was always a better person than me. If I had been the one who died…I doubt she would have avenged me. It was a disquieting thought. Would she be proud of me or disappointed? I had never really considered that before, being too set in my mission. What would she think of me now, pretending to love someone to hide the fact that I was a serial killer?

There was a knock on the door and I heard Faye going to get it, nearly tripping over one of the cats, who hissed in annoyance. "Hello?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I recognized the other voice. "Is Lori here? I came to pick her up for the party tonight."

"You must be Jonathan!" Faye exclaimed warmly. I could imagined she was shaking his hand to death. "It's so nice to meet you, Lori's told me so much about you."

"Good things, I hope," Jon laughed.

I dazedly dropped my mascara wand in the sink. They couldn't talk, not now! Jon might completely give me away! One more quick look in the mirror deemed me presentable so I rushed out there as speedily as I could in a sundress.

"I hope you're not telling any embarrassing stories about me, Faye," I said lightly as I rounded the corner into the living room.

Jon's eyes lit up and I quashed down the guilt. I had to look the part, that was all. I didn't dress up nice for him. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," I said, trying my best to blush for Faye's sake. I had to look as enamored of Jon as he did of me. "You look pretty nice yourself."

It wasn't a lie. His navy polo shirt brought out his eyes and he looked really good in dark wash jeans. Here I had a nice, handsome man interested in me and I felt…nothing. Hating myself, I took his arm as he offered it and we both waved goodbye to Faye on our way out the door.

"Your roommate seems really cool," he remarked.

"She's the best," I said fondly. "It's nice being roommates with someone who shares similar interests and doesn't mind my small herd of cats."

He chuckled. "I think I saw two of them while I was waiting. One was brown and one was white with black ears."

"Micah and Angel," I said smiling. "Micah was the first cat I ever got. I had just barely started volunteering at the shelter. I was bending down to clean litter boxes and he jumped into my lap. He cried when I put him down so I had to pick him up again and he would not stop purring. It was basically a lost cause."

"How long ago was this?"

"About three years ago? I had just moved here after finishing my master's."

"Where did you live before? I've lived here my whole life," he said as he slammed on the brakes. My hands were gripping the sides of the seat for dear life. He saw, smiled sheepishly, and continued. "Sorry, that car stopped too fast. Anyway, I kind of wish I'd lived somewhere else just once but my whole family is here so I probably couldn't bear to leave at this point."

"Texas," I said. "I went to the University of Houston. It was really humid but it was nice living not too far from the beach." I didn't mention that before that I spent my whole life in California. Nobody I'd met here knew that's where my sister died, and few knew I even had a sister. Everyone assumed I grew up in Texas and that my family was still there.

"My girls have never been to the beach," he admitted. "I've always meant to take them but it's such a long drive with two kids in the back seat and no one else there to prevent them from fighting."

I fake gasped. "Never? Scandalous. Kids love the beach! Cindy and I used to dig a giant hole every time we went and took turns burying each other up to our necks and—" I cut myself off. Since first mentioning her, I never talked about Cindy with Jonathan. He'd want to know more about her, I was sure, and I wasn't ready to go there.

"And?" he prompted. He looked at me with such gentleness. No one had ever looked at me that way. I was acutely uncomfortable.

"And it's hard talking about her," I confessed. He should know at least that much. I felt almost guilty for not ever telling him about my sister. I'd talked to Nick about her several times but hadn't with Jon even once. I might not love him but he was still my friend, sort of. I cared about what happened to him, which disturbed me. The small list of people I actually gave a crap about was growing and I wasn't ready for that. "You're just easy to talk to and it sort of slipped out."

Jon reached over and squeezed my cold hand with his warm one. "Don't feel pressured. I'd love to know more about her someday but if you're not ready for that, it's okay."

"Thanks, Jon," I smiled gratefully. "You're one of the good ones."

He shrugged. "If you say so."

"Believe me, I'd know." I was judge, jury, and executioner. I could tell good people from bad ones. Jonathan Pickering was one of the best people I'd ever met…and I was going to break his heart. Suddenly I wished I wasn't so broken so I could love him back, but he deserved better than someone like me anyway.