1 start

I remember not feeling pain or distress the day I was raised. I just opened my eyes and saw what was around me. A room with white walls, no windows or doors. I looked at my right hand, opened it, watched the palm, the nails, passed it on my face, in order to recognize myself. He lay on a bed. I got up and walked around the room, touched the wall and it flashed and then I saw nothing else.

Again I opened my eyes and was in a square, sitting on a bench. On the horizon people walked hand in hand, others walked with their pets, others played with children to play ball. The green grass looked like a carpet, and at the end of the view was a lake. Suddenly I found myself a child, and I held myself in my arms. It should have been about three months, the little one touched my face, my eyes were looking small and bright eyes. There was an unusual but pleasant fragrance, like orchids. We had a unique contact because I could have both visions: the adult and the infant. And I got lost inside one of them.

I opened my eyes and saw at a distance a man carrying a young man by the hand. I tried to accompany him, but he was faster. I felt that young man was me. The man took me to a place I did not want to go to. Following them I realized that this was my father, did not see his face, but the other I said,

- I get it, Dad.

For the fourth time I woke up and this time I already had a living baggage, without remembering exactly how I got it. I found myself in a room writing something in a black notebook.

"As a growing seed, I realized something was wrong. There was a feeling in me that was contrary to the one I was experiencing. I talked to my father about it. He told me that I was raised for the purpose of diverting people's attention so that they would not see it. He said I had to do his will regardless of my judgments. "

"I never quite understood this desire, or order. He asked me to enter the world and create confusion. And he gave me a gun ordering me to kill my friends in his name. I did not agree with that, but I was punished for my reluctance. He insisted that I call him a father, even though I'm not sure of that. "

"I would like to understand the world and people so I started to study all forms of religion, this when he was not around. From Christianity to Buddhism, occultism to Islam. I studied everything: philosophy, pedagogy, psychology, parapsychology and other strands of thoughts to find an answer. And one day I discovered myself as a being created to do the will of a man, my creator: my father. And my thinking grew, traveled, knew truths and turned me, like a boomerang saying what was going on with my life. "

"I was quite sad to have conviction that I had no will of my own. I am a creature with predestined steps. I am a doll created to pretend to be something that I am not, but that my father wanted to be. He throws all his luggage over me. It hurts me. "

"I wanted to be free. And I'm trying to be. My father got me several times trying to be honest and fair. On all the occasions when I betrayed his trust, he scourged me. I'm sorry people do not realize who I really am. I wanted them to know the things I think I want to do. I always have good dreams that I would like to share, but they are suffocated like a fish in a hammock exposed to the sun. I wanted you to know that. "

And the boy continued to write without pausing, not to miss the words, wrote as if it were his breath. In that closed room, surrounded by his fears, he hid himself in that notebook, creating himself on paper, making his fiction his reality.

"I was raised from a matter called dream, born of an enormous waterfall in a place called Dream World. And I still have a connection with this world. There things are different, my father would not stand a chance. In this place there are no realms of biology, there is no logic. There it is always day and the rain is sweet. You can reach the clouds and feel its flavor. The steep hills are chocolate. The mythical beings that exist there are peaceful and solidary. Gentis. If you are a foreigner, they give you food and an address. The earth is vast, there is no end. Your eyes can travel the horizon and you can try to find the end of that world, but you will never find it. I can travel to other universes, different worlds, alternative realities where time does not pass. "