9 『Techniques of the Owl』
"Ah, Sir Ash, it's nice to see you awake!"
"Oh, hey Teia." I groaned awake to Teia's naive smile. I don't want to say that she could get annoying, but she was kind of clingy.
Was I in the wrong for thinking that? Yeah I'm probably in the wrong.
"Diana and I divided up the chores between us so I'm here to look after you today!"
Holy shit her optimism is blinding.
"How are you feeling now?"
"I'm alright- AGH!" Moving felt like I had bruises all over my body.
"Sir Ash! Are you alright!"
"I take that back, I think I'm going to be here a while." I sighed.
After all, I did tell Inks to get it over and done with. Of course I'd lock myself up in my room once again because the outside is full of unrepentant assholes.
"Is there anything you want me to do, Sir Ash? I could bring you a towel… or some oats or…" Teia suddenly blushed as her wingtip moved up to her shoulder, remembering what that felt like.
…
She just did the 'food, bath or myself' thing without even realizing it.
Teia please. My heart can only take so much.
"Sorry to ruin your little moment, but I wouldn't recommend letting him sap you right now if anything." Inks appeared in the doorway, a veritable tower of books in hand.
"Oh, hey Inks."
"Good morning, Lady Seraien."
"I'm guessing that you don't want me to sap Teia because of that whole 'learning your limits sort of thing?" I asked.
"Yeah, pretty much. How do you feel about that Teia?"
Teia fidgeted a little in annoyance but nonetheless nodded. "I understand, Lady Seraien."
"Huh, thought you'd put up more of a fight honestly, considering how much you love him."
You're kidding me right? I'd only be her first crush at the very most. What the hell are you even trying to do here Inks?
"Sir Ash... Sir Ash did impregnate me one night when he came back from training after all..."
…
To say that I was horrified by this development… was an understatement.
Inks, however, completely lost it, the tower of books tumbling onto the floor as she supported herself against the wall.
"PfhfhhfhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhahEHHEHAHAHA~~~!"
Teia's childish face turned beet-red as it scrunched together in total embarrassment.
"H-How the actual FUCK are you that FUCKING DUMB!" Inks said in between her fits of intense laughter. "I mean you slept with your FUCKING CLOTHES ON! HOW FUCKING OLD ARE YOU to be believing in that Stork bullshit?!"
"Inks, calm down. Teia, I didn't impregnate you. It doesn't work like that, okay?"
Teia pouted in sheer embarrassment, her eyes on the brink of tears.
With any luck she won't ask about the truth of the matter.
"I mean, all you have to do is get your precious Sir Ash to stick it down there." Inks said.
Teia stared doe-like at Inks, then her gaze lowered down and down until she finally got the idea.
Oh no-
"HYAAAAA!!!" Teia cried and ran out the door and then the hallway as fast as her legs could carry her.
"INKS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!"
"Well it's true though."
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL ONCE!"
"It's a fact that she'd get around to learning at some point. In any case, I brought you some books- oh…" Inks suddenly realized how many she dropped. "You mind helping me a bit-"
"No."
"Please?"
"If you had arrived ten seconds earlier you would've realized how much it hurts to move right now, and you just made the only other help you'd get run off..."
"Master Amishy, what happened to Teia?" Diana asked as she appeared in the doorway.
…
…
…
"Hey Diana, you mind helping me pick up these books?"
If I say anything here, I'd be the bad guy, so what's the point?
My silence went unnoticed by Diana as she picked up the books at Inks' feet.
"Huh, what's this?" Diana asked, picking up a large doubled cylinder among the books.
"DON'T HOLD IT LIKE THAT!" Inks shouted at her, only for the scroll to unravel three quarters of the way across the room.
"Aghhh! That was an antique! Now I'll have to roll it up again!" Inks whined.
"I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Diana continued in penance.
"Well if that's the case~ I think I know a way you can pay for it~" Inks said, her fingers guiding Diana's chin for their eyes to meet.
"Diana," I interjected sharply, "Over here."
"Oh come on Ash~ Can't we have just a bit of fun~"
"Diana, here, now." I asserted with vitriolic conviction.
"You're no fun at all, are you?"
"I'm parched." I stated.
"Oh come on…" Inks moaned as Diana complied with me. "Who's going to pick up these books…"
"I'll do it myself. I need some energy first." I said, my glare piercing Inks through.
…
"Inks… I thought it wasn't polite to watch another Vampire drink?"
"Okay, okay fine! Sheesh…"
Inks left the room, and with her went my motivation and energy.
"Master Amishy, are you okay?"
"I don't know anymore…"
"Then what you said by wanting to drink from me…"
"I don't want to. I just didn't want Inks to take advantage of you like that."
"Master Amishy…"
I really just don't care anymore.
I want to go to sleep again. If only I could…
"Master Amishy, if I may say something obscene…" Diana started with quivering lips. "I… don't entirely mind Lady Seraien having such interest in me…"
Yeah, I'm the bad guy here.
"I can understand that you might not know what it feels like to be drank from… and I know it is never something I could ever put into words… but doing it with you… you are not Lady Seriaen. Lady Seraien is… overwhelming, like I fear that she could devour me with her gaze alone…"
"But you… Master Amishy. The way you hold me, I know you could devour me, but… instead…"
"Master Ash, you're too gentle, too considerate. And… that's not a bad thing… but…"
"Sometimes I feel you can… reach out… just a bit more…"
And what if I were to reach out just a bit more? Wouldn't my hand just be swallowed, ripped apart until the only thing left were tendrils and marrow where my arm should have been?
Even as I pull back my arm, wouldn't the stench of meat permeate through the world, inviting every predator to a new meal, rendering my body an immortal banquet?
…
"Master Ash, I know I went a bit too far last time…" Diana said, drawing closer to me, "but… if you want to… practice with me… then…"
I never realized how soft her lips looked until just now. Her modest wool dress dangled low to reveal not her cleavage, but how the fabric stretched to accommodate her ample breasts.
The both of us drew closer and closer until her lips met mine. It was only then that I realized how much softer her lips really were...
...
As she said, we didn't go much further. I knew I could, but I didn't. She knew that too.
There was also the matter of the half-tidied books lying on the floor, effectively a hazard should another denizen harpy come in with hot porridge and destroy several decades worth of work.
I'd never call myself someone who tidied, but my messes were… messes that I could understand my way around. I could make a mess, but suggesting that my apartment got mold would have been an insult to my landlady. It would take a good hour or so and a couple of trash bags, but it would be mostly spotless save for the accumulating dust.
Inks… was something else entirely. I do not want to talk about her room.
We will never talk about Inks room, but this was tame. It also only smelled of a bookstore and not the suffocating stench of lingering oxides and noxious herbs.
When we had cleaned it up, I began my research.
There really was a lot to go through, but 90% of them were just meta-arcanology and "establishing magical classification".
"Magic is an inherent construct identifiable by the wealth in one's destiny."
"Magic is an extension of Solar will, wherein any antagonistic force is supported by Black."
"Eradicating the arcane illiterate will manifest an era of unprecedented reason."
These were all Elvish.
"Creating the perfection of Dwarvish Ale."
"The inadequacy of Dwarvish Ale."
"Perfection is an antagonistic force to Dwarven Ale."
Dwarves liked ale.
"The Fallen Grace of Rema: Life in Condiero."
"The Arrogance of Conquis: Amongst the Sea Fuckers."
This exchange between the two Human Hegemonies ended in at least two Naval battles and the execution of both authors for causing such political turmoil.
Damn it Inks, as fun as it is reading two "Europeans" swearing and cursing as hard as their bilingual comprehension would allow I need to figure out how to use magic in about a week!
Then, I turned to the open scroll.
It had… illustrations…
They weren't full drawings though, but calligraphic brushstrokes denoting a figure with a sword.
Most surprising of all was that I could read it, although in a "Londoner tries to read Shakespeare" sort of way.
[Fukuro no Gijutsu]
Techniques of the Owl.
This… I think I'm going to like this…
