1 PROLOGUE

Slowly I saw the blood dripping down her neck. The delicious dark blood that controlled me, kept me alive. I was dependent on it, and the control was getting weaker day by day. I couldn't control myself, I couldn't defeat the desire, the desire was getting stronger and stronger.

At some point it will happen. Innocent people are killed because of me.

"Please don't", I heard her sob. "I won't tell anyone."

I gently stroked her trembling cheek with my hand, which accelerated her heartbeat. I could hear the blood rushing, the heart pumping.

"Don't take it personally. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

And with that sentence I tore open her carotid artery, ripped it apart until there was not a drop of blood in her circulation.

And she will not be the last. There'll be other deaths, hundreds, thousands. All that blood will stick to my hands, the guilt of her death will haunt me forever.

I am a monster. Nothing about me is human. I have no feelings, no conscience, no soul.

And no matter how hard I try to remain human, I will never be able to be one again.

Maybe I should accept it, respect it. But I long to be human, to allow feelings.

But I will never be able to do that. I will never feel anger, never happiness and never sadness. I will never be able to love anyone.

Because what I am is not meant to feel things.

And so the only human thing about me is longing. The longing for a normal life.

But I do not lead one.

As a vampire you can't lead one.

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