V I O L E T

It was one year, as of Friday.

Three hundred sixty-five days ago was the worst day I thought or maybe it was three hundred seventy-eight days ago? I could still feel the eyes of pity. I could still feel eyes on me watching me like I was broken glass about to break at any moment.

Maybe if I could put myself together it'd be different, but I can't. At the beginning, I tried. I could still see the fake smile I had across my face, when I looked in a mirror. I could remember hearing myself say I was fine after every class to a teacher. I can't fake it anymore, I can't pretend I have control over myself anymore. I'm breaking a part. Not even Trey, My brother's old best friend, could put a smile on my face anymore. It could be because he was part of the problem even before the death of my brother.

I can still remember seeing him and feel my face light up like a christmas tree, every time he would come into the room I was in. Now instead it was like a crunching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can still also remember the stomach dropping feeling when I caught Trey and my now ex-best friend Sarah kissing on top of my bed.

The fire in my eyes burned by looking at them. The way he looked shocked as I walked into my own room. The way I screamed at the top of my lungs for them to get out. The tears falling down my face.

The way I toar my room up before I could even process what I was doing. I don't even have the person I considered a best friend by my side through any of this, because she was the one that betrayed my trust and kissed my boyfriend.

I smashed every picture frame that had either Trey or Sarah in it. I ripped off every single barbie doll's head that I still had from back when both Sarah and I were into dolls. Burning every single teddy bear in the fire pit that Trey had ever given to me.

I could still even remember my brother banging on the door after hearing me smash every single picture frame. I bet I looked insane standing in the middle with broken glass and picture frames on the phone.

Myself standing there after i did it, just sobbing uncontrollably sitting on the floor holding my knees as my brother came through the floor.

The amount of concern burned onto his face to see me like this.

"Violet" I heard the familiar calming voice of my brother ringing in my head but turned to see the very person at the very moment I despised, remembering where I was.

Trey still looked exactly the same. His hair was like every other guy. His eyes still had the golden flecks in them that hurt looking into them.

"Leave please" I say, pushing my voice through the amount of emotions rolling into my head. The rolling crunching feeling of seeing him building more and more up.

"Vi-" I hear the other voice that drives me crazy every time she speaks.

"Sarah Please don't" I say looking straight into the same green eyes I grew up seeing "I can barely stand you anymore"

"I still car-" Sarah began to say

"You can't say that after what you did" I spoke in a stern voice louder than I meant. I could feel millions of eyes on me. I grabbed the straps of my bag and went the exact opposite way of where they stood.

I pushed the familiar doors open with a hard shove, throwing my bag on the ground. Not caring what was inside. I pushed the door back as I leaned against it. The breeze from the roof of my school brushed against my face with tears running down my face.

I hit the ground and cried out more. I can't take it here anymore.

I heard a sigh from around me. I looked unsure if there was anyone around. I stood up and walked carefully to the corner that I couldn't see to peek around it.

Smoke was floating through the air as I followed where it was coming from. On the ground sat Dixon, my brother's former rival in school, with a vape in one hand.

"Dixon" His name flowed out of my mouth kind of surprise, not thinking anyone but myself came up to the roof.

"Princess" He said with a smirk and looked up at me. I bit my lip, trying to ignore the fact that my eyes could be red from me crying. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm not a Princess" I said and chucked "I'm far from being a princess"

I sat down right beside him despite the fact that I've practically hated him my whole life yet he seemed better than anyone at the moment.

"I didn't know anyone else knew about this spot" I say looking around the roof that was closed in by a fence.

"Yeah we'll I saw someone come up here before I ever started coming up here" He answered with a shrug

We sat in a comfortable silence, neither of us saying a thing. I leaned my head back looking at the sky. It felt good to be around someone but it was odd that it was him of all people.Dixon stood up and I looked up to see his deep blue eyes connect with my dark brown eyes.

"I better get to class" He says and walks away.

I felt the familiar feeling build up in me. The odd painful silence filled the air. I got up and grabbed my back, just to walk over and take my phone out as I sat back down.

Pulling on the strings of my headphones, as I place them in my ears. Starting up my playlist

{Ruin my life by Zara Larsson}