1 Simula

I'm wearing my favorite black shirt paired with my black ripped jeans. Isinabit ko ang isang straps ng bag ko sa balikat ko para mag mukha akong astig. I also wear my favorite black sneakers, I actually have a collections of them! Since I was 12 years old palaging yung shoes na ito ang gusto kung suotin. And since my father is very rich, why not take advantage of it, right? So I'm the only person who have this shoes.

Like what I said...may collection ako from my pang small pretty Zhia's foot size to badass pretty parin Zhia's size.

"Well, well, well, guess who's late again?" She smirk kaya natawa ako, akala mo naman hindi late.

She's also wearing her favorite gray shirt and ripped jeans, paired with her nike shoes. If I've got a strange habit collecting those shoes well my friend is the worst! Never niyang ginusto na may kapareha na damit, only me and Ysa. We've got so many matchy matchy dresses and shirts.

So because they are rich and spoiled by her family, nagawan nila ng paraan para wala siyang kapareha ng damit. But the one she's wearing right now...I guess she have fifty copies of it! She said she'll die without wearing it even for a day...and yes! She always wear it.

She would do everything to wear it, kahit pa sunogin ang sarili niyang uniform. She was always sent to the dean's office because of not wearing uniform, until they got used to it and let her do what she wants.

But today is Wednesday kaya free kaming magsuot ng damit na gusto namin.

"Late na nga kayo nagchi-chismisan pa kayo dyan!" Sabat nang walang modong pinsan ni Jean, best friend ko. Sinapok pa niya ako at ngingising- ngising nakatingin sa akin.

"Kaya wala kang jowa, eh!" Asar kong sabi at ginulo ang buhok niya. He's also wearing a black shirt paired with a ripped jeans and a black sneakers.. and we're matchy matchy again...

"Hindi kita ginaya!" Defensive niyang sabi nang mapansin niyang tinitignan ko ang damit niya.

"Wala akong sinabi, Paloms. Kalma, napaghahalatahan ka eh." Ngumisi lang ito at nagpaalam nang sasama sa mga barkada niya.

"Walang nagtanong." He chuckled and kiss Jean's forehead before looking at me again.

"Gusto mo? Pero sa li-" I cut him off.

"No thanks." I said at nauna ng naglakad.

Lleidzy is his name. But I usually call him Paloms or Paloma. You know Cardo? A policeman who dress like a woman, sa ang probinsiyano yata yun

Yung police na hindi mamatay matay. And since me and Jean are best friend we don't hide that much from each other.

So she showed me their picture when they were  kids and there it is! We saw a picture of him wearing a dress and sandals.

I laughed at him that made him frown so much. I can't get over it and made it my wallpaper. Since that day we called him Paloma...but I've got another reason for calling him that way.

"Late nga tayo mas late naman yung teacher." Sabi ni Jean at umupo sa tabi ko. Si Lleidzy naman ay nakikipag kwentuhan sa mga kaibigan niya. Since we grade five never pa kaming nagkakahiwalay and I'm glad na ngayong high school na kami we're still classmates.

"Actually, second period na natin." Natatawang sabi ni Ysa at inirapan kami. This bitch..

"Weh?"

"Weh weh ka dyan! Nawi-wiwi ka ba?" Asar talaga to eh. Ysa is one of my friend since elementary pero hindi kami masyadong close compare kay Jean.

"Oo, kaya nga nga ka na." Pang-iinis ko sa kaniya. Huh! Kala niya huh.

"Zhia, kita mo ito? Ikaw 'to." She said and showed us her middle finger, tinawanan ko lang ito and I did the same thing, I showed her my middle finger.

"Ano yan Miss Savillan at Miss Miquista?!" Oppss..trouble.

○□○

"Ate Sole, galit ka ba?" Tumawa ito at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Hindi, ano ka ba, Zhia! Ginagawa rin namin niyan ng mga kaibigan ko." I smiled. Ang bait talaga ni Ate Sole! She's like an angle...

"Hindi naman kita naistorbo ate? Siguradong lagot ako pag sila kuya yung pinapunta ko eh..." She shook her head and smiled gently, napangiti rin ako sa ganda ng ngiti niya.

Ate Sole is perfect.. kahit na naging palaban na ito at masungit, she's still good and soft towards the people she cared at.

"Basta behave kana, huh? Medyo conservative ang mga tao dito, Zhia. Gusto mo bang mag transfer? You can also invite your friends. Just tell me at aasikasohin ko mga papeles niyo." See? Ate is very considerate, she's just so good to be true.

"Ate, focus kana lang po sa work mo." I heard kuya Winter is back, paniguradong stress si ate ngayon.

"Call me when you need something." Sabi niya nang makita niyang malapit na kami sa classroom namin. I kissed her cheeks while she messed up my hair. I actually don't like if may nanggu-gulo ng hair ko but if it's ate Sole, it's ok.

"Ok ate! Ingat sa pag drive!" She smiled and nodded.

"Lei?!" Agad kaming napalingon ni ate nang may sumigaw.

"Kuya Winter? Lleidzy?" Why are they together?

Kuya Winter nodded, acknowledging me.

"I'll gotta go. Bye Zhia! Behave, ok?" I nodded absent mindedly.

"Wait! Lei!" I sighed after seeing ate Sole flew away so fast while kuya Winter is chasing her.

"Crush mo?" Tanong ni Lleidzy kaya inirapan ko lang ito at iniwan doon. Narinig ko ang tunog ng sapatos niya, sumusunod sa akin

Crush? No! Ideal man ko si kuya Winter but we're cousins, maybe not by blood but we treat each other as a relative.

"Crush, crush ka diyan. Sa pinsan mo na si kuya Win!" My brows furrowed. At kailan pa nagka pake ang lalaking 'to tungkol sa love life ko?

"Ano bang pake mo, Paloma?" His lips form into grim line, he looks angry. Bigla akong nanlamig at kinabahan sa hindi malamang dahilan. Ang lamig din ang kanyang mga titig, napaiwas tulos ako ng tingin.

Pero bakit ako kakabahan? He really shouldn't care! Hindi ko naman siya pinapaki ilaman pag may nililigawan siya or crush! At hindi ko crush si kuya Winter! Kay ate Sole lang siya!

"Right..." He said and left me alone there, dumbfounded. There's an emotion in his face that I can't name.

Ganoon siya palagi pag may nakikita siyang kasama akong ibang lalaki. I ask him once, why? Sabi niya wala na daw siyang aasarin pag ganoon. Wag daw muna ako mag jowa...

"Naasar ako sa kaniya! Just what the hell is his problem?" Jean smiled mysteriously habang si Ysa ay nai iling lang at tinawanan ako.

"Bubu ka talaga!"

"Anong bobo?! Eh, sa weird lang talaga yang pinsan ni Jean." Inirapan ko ito at pa pakyuhin ko sana ulit pero naalala ko bilin ni ate.

"Oh? Away na yan?"

"Anyway, Jean kaano-ano niyo si kuya Winter?"

"Winter Lopez? Yung ex ni ate Sole!" Sigaw ni Ysa kaya napahawak na lang ako sa sentido ko.

Jusko naman.. kaya hindi ko makasundo-sundo 'to eh.

"Oh, we...it's a secret!" I sighed. The hell?! Panira talaga sila ng araw!

"DAD? Mom?! Ate Mizy? Anyone?" Sigaw ko habang naghahanap ng tao sa bahay. Ano ba yan... iniwan na naman ba ako? Jusko, pati si ate Mizy? Hindi naman niya day off.

"Ang ingay mo."

"Kuya F!"

"Don't kuya F me, little princess! Alam ko ang ginawa mo kanina." Napangiwi na lang ako ng makitang medyo seryoso si kuya.

"Kuya, I'm not the little princess of Savillan. Don't call me that way." His face darkened and he glared at me.

"You and Sole is our princess, don't think that way. Sole won't like it..and Sole is a queen, already. So, because Sole treat you as her daughter you're our princess." I sighed.

Si ate Sole ang nakahanap sa akin. Siya dapat ang a-ampon sa akin but I refused. But she won't let me go and since Kuya F's parents wants to have a daughter, Ate Sole proposed that they should adopt me. They agreed, hindi kasi magkaka anak pa si Mommy because of an accident before. Ayoko talagang magpa-ampon noon kasi ang dami na nilang naitulong sa akin, so if a-amponin pa nila ako...that would be too much blessing for me.

Nakakatakot lang isipin na isang araw babawiin lahat ng yun sa akin. Na mas may malaking kapalit lahat ng blessings na natatanggap ko.

"Kuya, asan sila Mommy?" He looked at me and chuckled.

"She went to the parlor, tinext ka daw niya, huh? May party mamaya." My heart beat fast, my hands start to tremble pero hindi ko pinahalata kay kuya at ngumiti lang.

"Don't worry, it's just a simple one. Alam mo naman si lolo..." He said and chuckled. Si lolo kasi simple lang naman yung okasyon nagpapa party pa. But mostly naman kami kami lang pero pang party talaga yung vibes, mga damit , lahat lahat.

Even though the Savillan's treat me good, may ilan parin sakanila ang hindi gusto sa akin. Every time they would find a chance to bully me they would and I'll stayed silent and endured it.

They are a distant relative of Savillan's. But the old Savillan would always invite them if there is a party. It was on lola's will before na the Savillan's should reunite and forget the grudge. But I guess some of them can't just forget about it at sa akin nila binubunton.

Pero mas natatakot ako sa ibang mga pinsan nila kuya.. they envy me and ate Sole. But because ate Sole is a real Savillan they would never have the guts to touch her. Besides, ate is just so pure to taint..

Ate is the only grand daughter of lolo. So the five boys always obeyed and treat her like a princess or more like a queen.

Being protected by the Savillan's they can't touch her. So, they came after me. I was bullied, accused and receive more things that I don't deserve.

"HINDI NA tayo mag ka section?" Naka ngusong tanong ni Jean habang titignan ang papel na hawak niya.

Ine- expect ko na yun. But it just sad because ngayong grade 9 na kami saka lang kami mag hihiwalay. It's pretty unfair because I know that I did much better kesa yung mga ibang naiwan sa section namin, but never mind.

"Bastos itong mga 'to, ako din naman iba yung section!" Masama ang tingin sa amin ni Ysa, nagtatampo.

We just chuckled. I've got new friends most of them are boys. At first ayoko talaga makihalubilo sakanila but eventually, I got used to it kaya naging friends kami. But the girls in our room is just annoying.

I know it's normal na may bida bida every classroom but our classmates is too much. I've always been in star section kaya sometimes I can't take their words and actions, it just too much for me.

Kasama ko sila Jean pag recess or lunch break. It's either ako pupunta or pupunta siya with our friends na galing sa star section. May mga naging kaibigan naman ako sa 2 years na pag i stay ko sa star section, sila yung kasa kasama ni Jean. But si Ysa loner yun, she may be jolly and loud but she've got a lot of hater.

"Zup."

Tinanguan ko lang ito.

"You're not with your boy friends?" He sarcastically asked. I sighed. Endure, Zhia ilang taon mo ring natiis siya ngayon ka pa susuko?

"No. Jean time." I calmly said kahit gustong gusto ko na siyang tirisin!

"How about me?" I arched one of my brows.

"What?"

"Wala."

I WAS busy eating my cup cake nang biglang nagsalita si Jean.

"Guess what?" She said excitedly. Kaya binaba ko yung cup cake at itinuon sa kaniya ang attention ko.

"What?"

"Lleidzy is courting Hana Ley! You know? Yung friend natin noong grade 7? Yung mahinhin?" Oh..that girl. Hindi na yun nakapagtataka, Hana Ley is Lleidzy type. Nakapagtataka nga na ngayon niya lang linigawan.

"Good for them." I shrugged. Ngumoso si Jean at parang disappointed.

"Why?"

"Kawawang Lleidzy." Kumunot ang noo ko.

"No, si Hana ang kawawa." She chuckled and continue eating.

CAN'T BELIEVE I survive a school year without Jean and Ysa being my classmate. Grade ten na kami ngayon at medyo prine pressure kami ng mga teachers.

"Anong strand kukunin mo?"

"Humss siguro, wala namang Gas sa school natin eh." Hindi pa ako sure sa kukunin kung course but I have choices, it's either I'll become a lawyer or a psychiatrist.

Pero kasi parang against si Mommy eh, natatakot siya kasi may tendency daw na mabaliw rin ako. She's right naman pero hindi ba dapat mas matakot siyang mag cri criminal lawyer ako? Ewan..

Pero ang dami kung what if's, like what if kung hindi ko pala kayang mag lawyer at mag give up ako in a half way? Nakakahiya pag ganon. Hindi rin ako sure sa psychiatrist kasi psychiatrist na si Ate Sole baka sabihing ginagaya ko na naman siya. And I don't want to live in her shadow like what other's say.

Kahit naman sinasabi ni Ate Sole na gawin ko lang ang gusto ko, I'm free. Pero kasi everybody knows how much I adored ate Sole, so once na magkwe-kwento ako about sa kaniya they would instantly shout me up.

Pero pag sila kuya ang mga kasama ko they would listen to me attentively kasi we all love ate Sole.

"Abm ako. Gusto ko maging accountant. Ikaw ba Ysa?"

"Stem." Yang si Ysa hindi na masyadong madaldal since nagka jowa. Minsan nga kasama naming mag lunch jowa niya and guess what? She acts like a fine lady! She move elegantly at mahinhin na tumawa.

Entertainment namin sila pag kasama niya jowa niya. Si Jean naman pag jowa niya kasama namin para silang mag tropa. Most of the time nagiging third wheel ako buti na lang sumasama sa amin sina Ej at Draze.

"Mahirap daw Stem at Abm, at easy lang daw Humss."

"Hindi naman siguro, mostly kasi chill chill lang mga taga Humss pero sa totoo lang nahihirapan din sila." I nodded. Agreeing at what she said.

"Mostly debates doon diba? Mga essay ganon? Magaling si Zhia sa essay, pero siguradong bagsak yan sa debates." Napangiwi ako sa sinabi ni Ysa. Kung magsalita 'to kala mo wala ako sa harap niya.

Pero she's right. Yun ang problema ko ngayon, hindi naman sa hindi ako magaling sa debates hindi lang talaga ako pala salita. I'm afraid to speak what's on my mind, nakakatakot ma judge. Kaya gusto kung mag Humss kasi it can improve my vocabulary and way of communicating.

"Hindi naman siguro tayo masha shuffle mo, noh? Balita ko kasi wala daw gustong pumunta sa TVL." Kumunot ang noo ko.

Noong grade 9 kasi kami na shuffle kami sa TLE. Eh, diba pag grade 9 na ikaw na pipili kung saan ka mag t tle? Ang nangyari sa amin na shuffle kami kasi walang gustong mag drafting at isa ako sa mga napili ni satanas. Nainis ako noon kasi ba't ipipilit yung drafting kung walang may gusto? Future namin iyon tas ipipilit yung hindi namin gusto?!

One of the reason din kung ba't natanggal ako sa star section noon kasi noong grade 8 kami, last quarter na at sa drafting ako napunta, eh sa hindi ako marunong mag drawing at badtrip pa yung teacher ayon binagsak ko. Pero pinagkalat binagsak ako, hindi niya alam ibinagsak ko talaga kasi napaka judgemental niya. Bakit? Alam na nga niyang halos lahat kami hindi marunong mag drawing tas pag pasahan na ng drawing kung makalait kala mo naman ang perfect perfect niya mag drawing! Kilay nga niya di niya maayos. Kairita.