1 My Demons

How do you see yourself? who do you want to be? Do you see someone strong and courageous, without doubt in himself or others. maybe your devilishly handsome able to breeze through anything with your charisma alone. Being timid, weak, shy or fearless in the face of adversity doesn't matter because how much of it really does. Take any animal or insect for example and compare your self to it . You a highly intelligent homo sapian who over came their fears, Concord the night and now stand at the very top of the food chain on Earth vs. lets say a dog who can barely overcome the its on its back and mastered licking its self clean. Now i ask who has more value? You would probably claim humans have souls complex emotional creatures far more important than any stray bug or animal walking around out their. Its like comparing a person to a drop of water or dirt. If you say something like this you wold be write from a humans point of view that is.

On a grander scale we are all the same insignificant. We are all comprised of atoms that make up this large complex network of information becoming an entire universe in its self. What we know, what we see is just mostly the things we can touch but, as we all know what we understand means nothing. When you gaze up at the starry sky you see the depth of the universe from that the value of our lives in comparison . It fascinates us it inspires people to traverse the unknown to reach new heights untold. Yet, it also brings ruin to those that stare to long as you realise your place in it all. Stuck in a corner of the universe you know little about on a pile of dirt drifting through space.

You know there's more everyone does its a shame that most of use will never get the chance to see it in there life time.

***

planet: Earth

Year: 2050

Time:8:34

Location: Miami,Florida

Bang, Bang, Bang ... "Harlo"

"come on man i know you in there i traced your phone open up" ... Bang,Bang, Bang

On the second floor of a sketchy run down Motel that looked like it could be from a scene in a horror movie with sirens blaring in the background stood a burly man in his 20s in front of room number 203. Dressed in a black leather coat with fur inside, a white-T, ripped blue jeans with little tairs in it and steel toe boots dirtied from years of manual labor. Had dark ruff skin while his palms had old scrapes and cuts. The man was constantly banging on the door with a furry even the other Tennant's could hear it from inside their rooms as they grunted angrily at him but, he didn't give a damb course Dante never cared about what others thought of him he always did things his way Except one person his best friend Harlo.

Bang, Bang, Bang ... "get your ass out here now"

Inside the room was dark and shabby decorated with only the bare minimals a bed, dresser, closet, scuffed up end table lamp, and an A.C unit that looks like its seen better days. In the disheveled room the only illumination was coming from out of a crack in the door were water could be herd running and the glimmer of a sharp blade pierced through along with a soul in pain.

The whimpers of a man is never a pretty thing especially one who is nearing the end of his rope. Inside the bathroom was just as ugly as the rest of the room and smelled just as nice. The leftover puke on the floor that dripped from the rim has already dried while the left dozens of beer cans sprawled on the floor helped paint a pretty picture on what was going on.

kneeling in a little bit of his own puke that slid over from the toilet with his arms on the side of the sink and a switch blade in his right hand. He was getting ready to do it, finally end his suffering but, for a long time the blade never moved.

From his sore knees, dried snot on the sink it was obvious he had plenty of time to do it. He wanted to more than anything else at that moment but, he was not done talking to the person he hated most in the world.

Harlo had been staring at himself for hours intensely, not even his caramel brown skin could cover up the bags under his eyes. His dreads draped over his shoulders as he continued to speak.

[Why are you still here you know your not gonna be able to do it. Just stop fooling yourself already].

"shut up what do you know".

[what do i know? That's rich considering i am you, the you who always tells the truth and apparently knows you better them you yourself do. Hmm ... maybe i should just refer to us as "we" or maybe "me" not like it matters when were one in the same. So, what do "I" know i like to say i know the truth the one your hiding from yourself. If you don't like the answer that's fine but, since you asked me a question let me ask "you" one what do you know].

"I know that i am not you".

[Come on there you go again i just told you "we" are the the same. If that's not true then tell me WHAT ARE WE !?].

"I am a good man, i am kind i follow the rules set by our predecessor's as our society dictates as best as i could".

[So, that is "you" who "we" are meaning "i'm" a follower fine "I" can accept that. Now tell me this why are "you" so alone?].

"..."

[Nothing you are able to say that I'm spouting lies but now you have nothing to say. I have the answer I've had it for years. Listen close because the truth is this isn't ment for you. It never was no one accepts you because we are different. Try as we might it cannot change what others see they want change into use and we cannot conform into them. Its why anyone like us is outcast were to different so it scares them].

[You want there exceptance, praise and recognition, still after so many years of trying though it has only brought you more pain. Yet, you still persist worked hard till you broke down for fuck all. While you were slowly becoming bitter mad and lonely. Face the facts they used you].

"Shut up"

[stole from you]

"shut up"

[And cast you aside when convenient]

"God dame it i said shut up, i had belief that is why i suffered for so long. To find a place to belong somewhere better than this dog shit of a life I've lived".

[Then do you still believe? Look at your self now the miserable wretch you are and show me your belief. If even the tinniest shred of belief that you will find your place somewhere anywhere than drop the knife]

At this moment Harlo was hesitant because he felt as though he truly wanted to die its what he had been working up to for so long. Now he found himself being talked out of it by well himself. A part of him wanted to cut his wrist right there just so he could have the last laugh but, before Harlo could properly consider that option a booming sound was heard in his ears. Someone was pounding at the door to his room it forced Harlo to his senses. Harlo could feel a headache coming on from the constant thumping on the door or was it because of all those cans of beer?

It was Dante Harlo could tell because they have been friends for years. Harlo grunted slowly coming a realization that if his friend was actually at the door then he would never leave that's just the kind of guy he was. Now Harlo was stuck in an annoying situation. He Couldn't let his best pretty much only friend find his freshly dead body in this bathroom. He also didn't want to face Dante's wrath he could hear it in his friends voice.

"Open the Fucking door you got until the count of 10 before i bust down this door and beat you ass". "1,2 ... "

"Ugh" ... Harlo was tired and really didn't want to deal with this but, he knew if he didn't open the door it was gonna be coming down very soon and he was then gonna be left with the bill. Then Harlo began stealing his spirit for what was to come picked himself of the ground and started to make his way to the door before Dante finishes counting down. Trudging through beer cans with the grace of a drunk swan Harlo made it out of the bathroom. Passing by the bed Harlo remember he still had a switch blade in his hand. Not wanting Dante to see it Harlo quickly hid it under neath the matrices for later. Under neath the matrices he found a used condom and 3 golf balls to drained to care or question what he saw he simple put the knife next to the golf balls and walked to the door. Were he heard Dante almost finish counting.

When Harlo finally opened the door he saw Dante 's massive figure blocking the sun which he was happy about course he didn't want the sun in his eyes. That was before Dante delivered a thunderous slap to Harlo's face.

"why the hell did you slap me ? "

"course you a bitch and bitches like you deserve to be slapped"

Harlo wanted to say something but, Dante quickly punched him twice in the face. The pain was an unwanted wake-up call for Harlo.

"What are you punching me now?"

"You know exactly why. Your school called you've been gone for over a month, didnt tell anyone just up and left, for what you're about to graduate with your bachelors degree?"

"I'm done with all that i don't care about school anymore, i all ready finished the classes i cared about, now i'm doing my own thing."

"Your own thing and whats that supose to be getting high again, wined up back down in the beans (projects). Shit i mean just look at your self you look like you been dumbster diving this past month. You got stains on you i cant even identify".

The more Dante observed Harlo the more he was starting to understand what was going on. Messy hair, bummy cloths, penut butter in between his toes on his right foot. The penut butter part made a lot of sence to Dante, it wasn't the first time he used his foot to eat penut butter everyone has querks and this was one of Harlo's .Harlo always had some problems, if people knew his full story like Dante did they would definatly understand.

"This ain't your problem just drop it i can do what ever i want on my own"

"Not my problem, i saw you work your ass off to get the scholarship, shit i helped you get it to. Driving you everywhere paying for everthing now your just gonna stop trying to be a scientist. You were the only person in our school to graduate 2 years early at 16 and you just gonna let that go to waist".

"Its not like i don't know the subject, can't a brother take a brake every once in a will".

"A brake, here for over a month well excuse me for disturbing your your stay at this five star resort were the pool my temporarily be out of order and filled with lawn funature but, the Massause is always on standby next to the dumbster were the entertainment is 2 ratcoons fighting for the territory".

Harlo didn't like what Dante was saying but he got the point.

"We're your meds you know how you get when you dont take them?"

Harlo started darting his eyes around at that point obviously wanting to avoid the question.

"I knew it, your of your meds again no wonder youve been acting like this"

With a clear understanding of whats going on Dante ignored Harlo pushed him asside and walked into the room. It was dark smelled like sweat, beer and a bit of penut butter the room was a mess. Walking the trash Dante came to the bathroom door were he could hear water running when he opened the door he found were the beer smell came from and saw everthing inside. Didn't even take a second look simply closed it and took a glance at Harlo who had a little nervous by the door. Then proceeded out the door, not before saying.

"Put on somthing else im hungry and knowing you i bet you Didn't eat anything besides junk food while you were here. I passed by a dinner a few blocks down the road should be good enough".

Harlo didn't even bother saying no he would have been forced to go anyway. So he put on a fresh pair of cloths and left the rom were Dante was waiting for him out side. They both walked down to gether to Dante's used pickup truck that he had since he was in high school. Its was ruffed up just like Dante's shoes but, it got the job done atleast. Insided the car was a bunch of crumpled up wrapers it mad it a little difficult taking a seat so we both just crumpled them up and through them on the floor. While hoping into the seat i could see the back of the pickup truck had a bunch of paint and wood planksno doubt for Dante's next job. As Dante finally got seated he reached into the cubered on the dash boared and took out some pills. He had always done things like this for me always ready at a moments notice. I took 2 pills then sat in the car in siline as we drove to the dine.

"To day was prity shit so far i really hope it gets better". Harlo muttered under his breath.