1 My unwelcome rebirth

I feel my blood racing through my boiling veins as I quickly sprint through the alleyway barely giving thought to the giant gaping hole in my shoulder as I make a series of turns left right right left straight right-left weaving in out and around buildings but no matter how many turns I take no matter where I go it seems as though the pack of footsteps and enraged voices behind me are never too far away, I keep making series of complex turns in hopes to lose my pursers only running off of anger and adrenaline, pushing through the pain and the despairing thoughts of an unreconciled mind betrayed by not only his lover as well as his own parents.

Further and further I sprint I notice my vision beginning to blur my body too slowing down and I know my adrenaline is fading and the clock is ticking I need to lose them now. I turn left once more... dead end. The momentary pause allows even my mind to betray me allowing despairing thoughts to dazing me for precious seconds.

Why me?

Tak tak

What did I do to deserve this?

Tak tak tak

I can't keep going like this

Tak tak tak tak

Why would they do this?

Tak tak tak tak tak

Suddenly snapping back to reality I jump forward just in to for a shadow tackling where I just was, it quickly recovers from its failed tactic before yelling

"He's over here come quick I have him cornered"

"Go go go quickly before he gets out "

"Get that bastard he dare kill the princess we must burn him alive"

I no longer have the luxury to think action is the only option I try to pass the smaller skinny man that tried to tackle me just for him to try and seize my injured arm I feel my body rapidly losing strength knowing I can't afford to get caught, I quickly back up but he doesn't relent further pushing me deeper into the alley. He grabs my injured arm yanking me towards him I let out a hiss of pain and out of fear and desperation I strike at his throat with my other arm cleanly connecting with it he immediately drops to the ground clawing at his throat attempting to breathe. I instantly look to make my way back out the dead end just in time to see the mob round the corner holding swords daggers and torches

"He's here"

"Kill him"

"only after we skin him"

Panicking I search for any way out or around them

100 feet

To my left nothing but a garbage can

90 feet

To my right a window I instinctively grab the garbage can and throw it through the window shattering most of it leaving only small jagged shards in the frame

70 feet

I run to the busted window not jumping out it immediately,

'Oh f*ck that's at least a 60 foot drop

50 feet

'I can't survive that fall like this doesn't matter you won't survive if you go back'

35 feet

A sick scenario goes through my head that smaller skinny man that tried to tackle me wanted to kill me just a second ago right so it only makes sense that in the attempt to take someone's life you may lose your own I reason

20 feet

"I'm sorry about this but not really" I say grabbing the man lifting him up

10 feet

"No get off me" he screams realizing what's going to happen flailing his arms around trying to hit me and stop me

9 feet

I real back my head and head butt him as hard as I can

8 feet

He's momentarily stunned

7 feet

I immediately sprint to the window

6 feet

Nearly there

5 feet

Almost

4 feet

There

3 feet

I don't hesitate to jump

2 feet

"Jared!!!! NOOOO!!" A voice cries out behind me but they're to late

1 foot

I'm in free fall using the guy as a meat shield to soften the impact whistle aiming for the garbage can to further soften the impact,

"Ahhhhh NOOO! FATHER HELP MEEEEE!!" The guy calls out with a young voice

....

....

.... in to young of a voice

....

Tearing my eyes off where I was aiming I look at the small skinny man and...

.....

.....

.....

It hits me....

... this isn't...

... a man but a child.....

.....my heart quivers ....

Looking at the boy....

He's no older than thirteen no older than my son

'Oh n.. Bang we hit the can but it barely mitigated anything and in the same instance I hear the most haunting sound off my life rapid and so many many many repulsive crunches followed by a flow of warmth as a pool of blood forms around me. In that singular instance I felt devastated as though my heart was grounded down to a fine dust only to be tossed into a inferno because I knew without having to look.

This child I'm on top of is dead.

By my own doing

By my hand

I killed this child.

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

Darkness all surrounds me begins intertwining it's self into my being almost as if to take control and erase me. An incredible sense of existential dread sets into.... what? My body? No, I have no physical body I can't feel it than what? My soul? That must be it, right?

The feeling continuously growing for every indeterminable amount of time until it was the only thing that could be felt. Suddenly an indescribable and impossible pressure falls upon what I can only assume to be my soul forcing apart of itself into me further and further until .... snap.

All the pressure all the fear and dread are gone in all of an instant replaced by an unexpected and unsettling sensation of freedom and yet also the feeling of perversion almost as if my being/ soul isn't actually mine or was corrupted past some sort of metaphysical point of no return. After some time passes of just existing in nothingness the senses of perversion fades away but was swiftly comes in its place is a sense of caution almost like someone or something is plotting against me.

More time passes ....

More time passes ...

More time passe...

More time pas.....

More time....

More ti.....

More .....

Mo..

M....

....

.....

.....

Bang

an unstoppable searing pain lashes out against me, then suddenly brilliant flashes of lights.