1 Prologue

"Would you believe if I said that I was scared of everything, too?"

- BTS, V: MAGIC SHOP

November 2017

My bedroom was absolute mayhem; a combination of laundry dress, books, and unnecessary items that were all scattered for display. Like always.

I was resting on my stomach on my bed, swinging my leg back and forth, chewing the back of my pen and pondering about my to-be-unamusing-life and already-gone-unamusing-days.

I generally write stuff that has happened and what I hope to happen which practically included 'fall in love' in my diary. Of course, it's not the matter of me falling in love, it's the matter of someone else falling for me that I envied for.

My only desire that has never betrayed me was 'stay hidden'. Apparently, I was the best at that; not attracting attention has forever been one of my best priorities for a safe life. But of course, staying hidden had its flaws; but social isolation was no biggie for me. I'm used to being alone at parties and school.

Yet this has never made me downbeat since I had a few friends, though not a bunch like others in my school. Rose and Alisha were the best. I don't really know why Alisha hangs out with me when a lot of way better girls had been craving for her company. Had been. But once she decided to sulk in with us, her reputation of being a to-be-popular-girl went downhill.

Rose has always been with me since my childhood. We were good buddies but we had not much in common.

Yet, that doesn't mean I had a happy-go life. Sometimes everything seems to be unbearable.

'My sister died yesterday.' I wrote, something that I have been shoving off my mind, until now. Just thinking about it, my heartthrobs. Tears sunk into the paper as they pricked down from my eyes, spreading the ink. I clutched the pages as her image flashed through my mind, again. Pulling the pillow to my face, I screamed with all tears, trying to let out the frustration with them.

I couldn't even sense the pain that throbbed down my throat badly. Her images flooded my mind in fast motion as memories raced past. I looked over at the frame which had a picture she and I taken at home on my sweet-sixteen party last year. Tears poured down as I stared at her smiling face, my diary still clenched in my fist.

My eyes hurt as more tears streamed down. But what hurt more was the feeling of guilt.

Then I saw something or rather someone on my bed. I jumped out of my bed instantly with a loud scream, but it came out more like a loud cry. Ignoring the pain that crept my head, I studied the figure that sat on my bed from head to toe. My vision was slightly blurred as I've been crying the whole time, but I could perfectly recognize the person sitting cluelessly in front of me.

Jungkook?