1 Chapter 1 - The struggles of getting out of bed.

3:26am on a Monday...

I had school in less than 5 hours and I laid in my bed still...too still. I was trapped in my own thought. I couldn't sleep because of the dreams that had been recurring continuously; Night after night I lay in bed still. Tears would slip at my eyes as I struggled to sleep. I wasn't sad. I wasn't depressed. I laid still. Calm and at peace with the world and the environment surrounding me. I lived in the rural country side. There was nothing surrounding me. No street lights...No cars...No teenagers running around recklessly drunk down the road, not even on Saturdays! It was just peace.

4:05am

I turned over and looked through my bare white curtains. I have had them since a child as my rook was decorated when we moved in age 7. The sun peaked through the thinness of them. I didn't really understand the point in curtains that aren't thick enough to keep the sun out. Especially if they were plain white. They brought nothing but dullness to the child like room that belonged to me. Sleep grew nothing but further away as I contemplated sending a text to the boy I so wished to be with. He was a friend...We were kind of close but it was nothing special. He just gave me the attention he gave everyone else and I liked it. I liked his humour and his stupid nicknames. They weren't cute or soppy. He normally called me idiot or something stupid that most people would be offended by. I wasn't though. He didn't mean it in a rude way that's just how he spoke. He was a nice boy with good intentions. I knew I couldn't ever tell him the way I felt, after all it's not like he'd want to be with me out of the a million girls he was friends with and it wasn't like he even wished to have a relationship in the first place.

I said fuck it and grabbed my pillow from under my pillow, the paranoia that I was blessed with always over thought putting my phone under my pillow in case it over heated and caught a light, burning my hair and face while i slept before eventually killing me. I was paranoid like that. I just wouldn't put my phone under the pillow if it was hot or on charge. If it was hot then it would remain on top of my wooden floor boards. Not cheap wooden floor boards, when designing and decorating (actually with everything) my family always wanted the best. The most expensive food... we didn't own any cheap cars so my first car definitely wouldn't match the cars in the drive way. My floor was wooden and gloss. expensive oak that was heavy,not bulky though. I pulled out my phone and turned it on, being blinded immediately by the brightness which I never felt the need to turn down unless I was in class. I squinted and groaned before quickly turning it down and typing my password in. No it wasn't my birthday... it was actually the year my favourite band got together. 2011! A short password for someone with a rather good and intense memory yet laziness.

I scrolled down my messages before clicking on one of the most recent ones. George. Whilst avoiding arguing with myself about whether or not to actually send a text to the boy, I laughed at our most recent messages...memes about Tokyo Ghoul to be precise. Brilliant anime if you haven't watched it... I strongly recommend it. I heard a banging on the wall as I practically felt the frustration coming through the walls. My older brother annoyed as I probably woke him up with my laughing. Honestly sad how I found myself laughing at the same meme I had seen the day before.

Before I could go any further, my door was sling open and Nathan came and pushed me onto the other side of my bed. He laid down next to me and ordered to close my eyes before wrapping his arms around me and questioning what was going on in my head. I didn't tell him much. Nate was one of my closest friends but I didn't want to worry him with my pathetic problems. Also didn't want to become a burden. It was better if he thought I was happy. Instead of pushing me to explain stuff he could tell I didn't want to, he just told me of the better times when we were younger. When my father was actually around.

7:10am

The shouting of my mother, rushing to get ready for work woke me and Nathan up.

"Nova! Nathan, what did I tell you about sleeping with your sister! You'll both be late for school!"

We both groaned before my brother gently slapped my forehead and ordered to me to get out of bed. My mum didn't like the fact my brother slept with me sometimes even though she knew he done it to calm me into sleeping...to save me from my own thoughts which kept me from sleeping. My Mum, Natasha, just knew there was no hope in either of us getting up from school as leaving the warm bed and the comfort was way too much to ask. Strange that my brother and I slept next to each other sometimes I know, but my brother was the only one I spoke to really. And even still as you can tell from last night I never told him much. My mother worried about me but my brother ensured he'd look after me as I was both of theirs baby.

After running back and forth around the house, I was changed and slightly cleaner, reading to leave for the school day.