3 A Good Fortune.

Lil speaking like an expert says, "a system is something that provides a lot of special cheats for you. It helps you do things you would never normally be able to do and is impossible to detect or remove."

"Wait so you're saying I'm stuck with it, but it's a good thing. So how do I use this system?"

"Beats me. But in all the novels I've re…"

"Wait hol' up. You're basing everything you told me on novels you've read? I bet it's those Chinese light novels or web novels, you fucking weeb."

"Hey don't disrespect novels like that. It's not nice! But since I'm so nice, I'll forgive you."

"Alright continue, what should I do?"

"You have to stand on one foot, and then yell the system chant."

"Wait really that seems so cringey."

"Yep."

"Alright what's the system chant?"

"You have to say System System Wake up System. Give me your powers, Give me your support, Give me what is mine!"

"Okay fine. But this better not be a prank." **Does what is told to do and faints.**

"Richard, wake up. Don't die on me. I'm sorry I was just joking. Wake up. I promise I'll delete the video of you."

While Richard is unconscious, something in his head keeps vibrating. All of a sudden, he is blinded by light. Even closing his eyes doesn't work.

Out of nowhere, he hears, "Welcome to Unique Resistance- Miraculous Operating Missions System also known as the UR-MOM System. Please create a name that you want to make for yourself."

"What the f*ck is going on? Ok it said to create a name, I guess I'll have to make it God"

"Name is not available, please use one from the name creator."

"I can't believe it, I can't be God?????? Guess I'll do what it wants me to." Richard walks forward and selects the drop down arrow. "A menu appears, the only choice is BSAP Dickerson.

"Okay, tell me why the f*cl does this sound like a rapper name and why is it the only one available?"

"Name selected. Welcome BSAP Dickerson. Please select you benefit next."

"Guess it wants me to choose again, through the same menu. Let's see, there's actually a lot of choices this time. We have X-Ray Vision, Invisibility, Magnetism, Flying, Mind Control, Mind Reading, oh my god this list is too long, I guess I'll just choose Anti-Detection, basically boosted invisibility."

"Anti-Detection has been selected. We will begin your first mission soon, please standby."

"What does that mean, my first mission? What do I do? I can't die yet, I'm not even married."

"Dropping in one minute."

"What, why does this seem like a game?"

"Mission objective is to stay alive until all other people are dead. Failure is complete death. Learn how to use your ability while you're at it. Deploying."

"Agajfkcpdpdlqxldlqodln woceolfpdfoocviejsuck koxkekocwiqicebidjcmy skflclodvlrobkofjdick nxiskckzmskoxnwknefjfbitch." Richard falls to the ground. On the top right of his vision he sees a map.

"Could this be a battle royals game? Guess I have to gear up and use my ability."

Richard starts walking and finds a shed with a grenade and insanely cool M416. While walking some more, he is ambushed. "Son of a female dog. Anti-Detection activate." Nothing happens. "Activate."

In his head he hears to activate the ability,

One has to dance and dance and sing "Bespacito."

"How do you even know what that is?" "Bespacito, Bespacito, Bespacito I don't know the lyrics so mosquito, Bespacito."

"Anti-Detection activating, while activated, BSAP Dickerson will be undetectable in any way possible including, sound, sight, taste, touching, and smelling. These are just the basics, more advanced anti-detection ways include, electrowhatever as well as blocking heat. Good Luck BSAP Dickerson."

"Haha now I can go around him."

Richard realizes he is being camped and something purple is closing in on him. He goes around the enemy and throws a grenade and blows the enemy up. Or so he thought, the grenade exploded confetti and made an extremely loud sound, capable of being heard from anywhere on the map.

Everybody except Richard and the person who Richard was trying to kill thinks, " which retard set that off."

Richard "didn't think that was gonna happen, thank god I can use my gun" *pray and sprays and gets the kill*

After 10 hours, The original map was much smaller, Richard is extremely tired and there's one person left. Richard continues camping and eventually uses his gun to kill the last person.

"Congratulations on completing your first mission. You will be teleported back to where you last were. All abilities and experiences were real."

"Well at least I gained something good from that sh*tshow."